Chapter 3B

"You did. And there were all those dreams you kept having. At first I didn't mind the nightmares so much, I could understand why you had them but then you fucked me while dreaming of her and every time I did something you didn't like you said Marybeth didn't do that."

"I'm sorry I didn't realize."

"And the dreams started again recently, I heard you call her name in your sleep and then that second time you climbed on top of me in the middle of the night. I thought you were just being the new you but I could tell it wasn't me you were having sex with. It was the way you kissed me, more gently and how you seemed to hold back."

"I don't know what to say. The dreams have started up again. At first they were the nightmares again. I have described them to you. One has Marybeth and me walking through the jungle, there are many trees and limbs as well as vines covering the trail. She falls into a pit of quicksand and starts sinking fast. I look for a vine or a tree limb but suddenly they are all gone. I search and search but there's nothing I can use to rescue her. When I look again she's gone with just a few bubbles to mark were she was."

Sunny nodded for he had told her of that dream and a couple of others like it.

He continued, "And I'm afraid I have had a couple of erotic dreams of her. I don't know how to get my subconscious to stop them. But not all of the dreams I have had have been of her. Since the accident I have had erotic dreams of you. Just a couple of nights ago I had a powerful one. Very realistic, I even... Um I mean I well,"

She looked at him puzzled and as she saw his embarrassment she realized what type of dream he had.

"You had a wet dream about me?"

"Ur... yes. I haven't had one of those since high school but there I was waking up as I was spouting. I tried to clean it up but it got all over the sheets. There seemed to be a lot and I was in no shape to get up to change the sheets. I had to wait till my nurse came by the next day. I'm sure she noticed the stains, for she gave me a certain look. From where they were it would easy to figure out what they were."

Sunny looked at him then she giggled. He looked affronted but she giggled again.

"I'm sorry. I was just picturing in my mind that scene."

He nodded then said, "You see I've been dreaming of you too. In fact some of the nightmares I had while you were still at home were of you. You took Marybeth's place in the quicksand. This time I was determined to save you, therefore, when I couldn't find anything I could throw to you I dived in. In the first few dreams I was able to grab you and swim to the shore before we sank but after the accident when I dived in you slipped from my fingers and I found myself standing on the edge of the pit covered with muck. Not just muddy sand but other gross things were mixed in with the sand. I watched you sink leaving nothing but bubbles. I was standing there covered with garbage and muck and it was for nothing."

She looked stunned for a moment then said, "I can see why I would be covered in muck and, ur, sewage, but why you? You didn't do anything wrong, I did."

George looked embarrassed at that point and Sunny looked puzzled then a light went off in her head and she exclaimed, "You didn't??!"

George looked ashamed as he glanced away not being able to look at her.

Sunny's eyes got big and her hand went to her mouth, she said, "You did! Oh God. I think I just got the answer to a question I've been trying to ask since the day after our second anniversary."

George looked back at her still with an ashamed look on his face, "I lost Marybeth and I didn't want to lose you too. There was nothing I could have done to save Marybeth but there was something I could do to save you."

"With who? When? Oh, those night time business meetings... You lied to me."

He clearly heard the emphasis on the word "me" and he winced.

He sighed then said, "Yes, I did. I never said they were meetings for business but I let you assume they were."

She didn't know if she was shocked, angry or what.

"I... um, I knew I didn't know enough to really make love to you and yet it was something you desired more then anything evidently. I had to learn how to please you so I asked a business associate of mine. She works in the same field and we have known each other for years. Almost from the start of our relationship she has tried to talk me into taking her to bed. I have always refused. She knew I was married but she didn't care. She bedded any man who would give in to her charm. Jennim stopped for a few months after Marybeth died which was a relief. But she started up again just about a year after her death. Even then I said no. When I decided to do whatever it took to keep from losing you I thought of her first. With all of her experience she would know what I needed to learn.

"I approached her without telling her everything, I explained that I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary. I think she knew it was more then that though. She said she would teach me but on one condition-- that I had to practice on a live person, her. I had been afraid she was going to say that but I still hoped that she would just explain it all to me. When she said she would only if I practiced on her I debated whether to do it or not. I decided that you were worth the sacrifice.

We met in the evening and she first had me dance with her. She said that if it was our anniversary then we would be dancing and the sex would start then. Jennim had me say things that she explained that any woman would like to hear. Actually I knew that already but went with it anyway. She had me begin to feel various body parts as we danced. I almost quit when she put my hand on one of her breasts and told me to gently squeeze it but again I thought I had to do it for our marriage. "

He paused for a moment looking ashamed then said. "We spent two nights with me licking her, um, slit. She wanted to make sure that I could figure out what felt the best or that is what she said. I think she was enjoyed having me do that to her. She also spent some time sucking my shaft. She wanted me to have a climax in her mouth but I refused. Once I had to pull out because she wasn't going to let me go until I did. I wanted to make sure you got the privilege of having me have a climax in your mouth first if that was what you wanted."

Another pause then, "We had sex in various positions. She complimented me on my staying ability after the first climax. I, ur, tried not to have one in her but I did once. I, um, ur, couldn't help it... She also used her hand to give me a climax. She explained that you would want to and that I should get used to it."

Sunny was amazed and dumbfounded by his confession but at the same time she almost giggled at the embarrassed expression on his face combined with his apologetic tone as he described the events.

"Jennim also had my play with her anus. She explained that many woman liked it when excited. She liked it anytime. Once she reached around her and pushed my finger in all the way hard. I tried to pull it back out but she fought me. She said that I needed to get used to doing whatever the woman I was making love to wanted and she wanted that. After a few seconds I went along with it... I guess she was correct about women liking that."

Sunny said, "That is how you knew to play with mine during our Anniversary?"

He nodded and aid, "She wanted me to do more then just use my finger but I wouldn't go beyond using two fingers, not my tongue and not something else."

Sunny's grew wide as she realized what else Jennim had wanted George to use.

A moment later George stopped talking as Sunny gasped. She had been thinking about what he was saying and had realized what he said about a sacrifice. She thought that for most men having to have sex with a pretty woman would not be any type of a sacrifice but she knew her husband well enough to know that for him it had been a sacrifice. Sunny had been amazed that he would do that for her but then realized what she had done after his sacrifice thereby treating it as nothing.

Tears came to her eyes and she said, "I'm sorry, Oh God, I should have realized."

He looked at her not knowing what she was talking about and she said, "I stepped on your sacrifice like it was dirt. I'm sorry... No wonder you were so angry and hurt. I'm... I'm surprised you spoke to me at all and not just kick me out."

"Would it have made any difference if you had known?"

"I think so. It would have made me feel even more guilt for one thing. And I would have realized that you do love me for me. It was something that you did not do for Marybeth but for me. I went with Ronny because he accepted me for who I am. He didn't want me to be like another wife, or so I thought. And I thought he was again like he had been when we were first married. When I was with him I felt like I did back when I was sixteen and we got married. We didn't have much but life was a lot less complicated. I didn't have to worry about relationships not working out or a... a husband who wanted me to be someone else."

A pause to wipe away tears then, "He was an escape. You told me once that I sounded like a drug addict. He... he was my escape from conflicts but as with drugs it turned bad and it was a lie."

She started crying, "I love you and you're a good man, I wanted to start fresh with you but I can't love you like Marybeth did."

George stroked her hair and said in a gentle tone, "Of course you can't love me as she did. She was a unique individual. We did have a special relationship but you are a unique individual too. You and I have a special relationship."

There was a pause then George said, "I need to say one more thing. I think I know why I started having those dreams again."

She looked at him puzzled.

"I love you very much. And sometimes my feelings were in conflict. You know how much I loved Marybeth."

She looked up sharply thinking that he was about to say something she would not like.

"I don't want to hear about her."

He saw the look and heard what she said so he said, "Please wait for me to finish before you think I'm breaking my promise."

She nodded and he went on, "This will sound like a cliché but it's not. I would lay awake some nights thinking that I love you as much as I did Marybeth and sometimes I..." He paused, cleared his throat, "felt that as much as I loved her and hadn't wanted her to die if she hadn't I would never have met you. My conscious mind had problems accepting those two conflicting ideas."

She looked at him and said, "Oh." in what sounded like a gasp, then "No wonder you had those dreams of losing her again."

"That must have been why I had that second dream of making love to her that was so strong I actually had sex with you."

There was another pause which she ended by saying, "I read her diaries after you said not to"

His head swung up and he had a hard look on his face, she quickly continued, "I thought I wasn't loving you enough. I was desperate; I wanted to see if reading what she said would help me love you enough to stop my cheating."

His face softened he thought for a moment then said, "As you read her dairies did you learn anything else?"

She looked up at him and said, "I learned she was satisfied with your sexual relationship."

He looked surprised and Sunny continued, "I saw on your computer that you wished you had learned to please a woman like you do now while Marybeth was still alive."

"You weren't supposed to see that. I'm sorry I didn't..."

Sunny interrupted him by saying, "that didn't bother me that much. I can understand how you feel. But as I was saying, she was content with what you guys did. She liked making love to you even if it was just a little. She liked being, um, fucked by you. She believed the same as you about sex being a work of the flesh and not something to give in to a lot. At the same time she loved you and liked being in physical contact with you during sex. She liked it when you allowed her to show her love to you by kissing you from your lips down to your, ur, fleshy rod."

His eyebrows went up as Sunny used the term his late wife used to use for his shaft.

"She loved you so much just snuggling next to you while you slept was enough for her a lot of the time. She thought you guys had reached a good compromise between not giving in to the baser elements of humans and the need for expressing love and passion."

Sunny paused here then said, "And she was able to resist two attempts to seduce her."

George's head swung around with a shocked look on his face.

"She never said anything about that."

"The first one wasn't that big a deal. A neighbor approached her a few times. He was subtle but she knew what he really wanted. It really wasn't much of a temptation. She told the guy she was satisfied with your sex life.

The second one was more of a temptation. It was some guy she worked alongside on one of the groups she volunteered with. Marybeth knew the guy was a playboy but she also knew what he wanted so ignored any advances. Two of the other women who volunteered talked one night about going out with the guy when she came up to them. They thought he was very outstanding at making love. He knew what women want and how to give to them is spades.

He approached Marybeth more seriously one night. She wrote in her dairy that she spent a few seconds thinking about what the other woman had said. He had given her a neck message a few nights earlier and it had been good. Then he was the perfect gentleman just touching her where he was supposed to. He did compliment her while massaging her neck but it had been safe compliments. That evening as he hinted at doing more she thought about how good his hands had been on her neck and how good they could be other places on her body. After a few seconds she realized what she was doing and stopped. She ended up telling him that she was completely satisfied with you and didn't need him.

The next week when they got to together her neck was aching again and again he gave her a neck message. This time he tried to use his arms to rub her breasts but she was able to block his movements in that direction. She didn't say anything but whenever he tried to do something he shouldn't she blocked his arm. That must have emboldened him though for the next week he approached her again, after he had sent her a nice card supposedly from one friend to another. It complimented her appearance and reminded her in a subtle way of how his hands had felt during the massages.

This time she immediately said no but later after she got home she was relaxing and he came to her mind. She thought it would be nice to enjoy what he could do for her but after a moment of thinking like that she told herself no way. It would be wrong on a number of levels and she really was satisfied with what you and she were doing sexually. She decided no more neck rubs or long talks with him. She thought she had been in control during the second one but she was afraid if he kept it up she might let him go further one day."

When Sunny was done George sat there thinking. All that had been new to him and it was a bit of a shock. He thought he could understand why Marybeth hadn't told him. It was strange thinking that someone, two people that is, actually tried to seduce Marybeth. Even with her saying no each time it had a surreal aspect to it. Now as he thought about it she had told him on more then one occasion that she was satisfied with their sexual relationship. She had liked to cuddle and it had been during two maybe three of their cuddling sessions.

After a few moments deep in thought he said "That's a relief to know but at the same time that is not what I meant. I believe she was honest enough also to record our disagreements."

Sunny looked at him with puzzlement and he continued, "We had a very good relationship, it was used as an example of what marriages should be like as you know. It really was good I could see how other couples related to each other and I knew ours was special but it wasn't prefect. We had our disagreements and sometimes they got loud. That was especially true during the first couple years of our marriage. We didn't fight a lot but we did at times. That's why I asked if you learned anything else while reading her diaries. As I said I know she was honest enough to list the fights along with the good stuff."

He paused for a moment as he took a couple of deep breaths, "It wasn't just at the beginning we fought. Two days before her death we had a big fight. One of the biggest we had in the last three years. We each said things we were sorry for later. I got loud. Our friends would have been very surprised if they had seen that fight. At one point I was shocked by what I had just said and how loud I had said it. I believe she was as shocked by what she had said. That was what stopped the fight. We both just stopped talking for a moment and that was enough to get us both to end it. We made up later that evening but I've wondered at times if that fight had something to do with her death."

Sunny turned to look up at him and said, "But the doctors said her death could have happened at any time."

"I know that is what they say but I still think that her blood pressure going up during that fight might have contributed to her death."

They sat and thought for a few minutes Sunny didn't know what to say. She thought the talk had been good, it was very nice to get some of those things out in th eopen and she had learned thinsgs she hadn't known, but it was time to get back to where she was staying.

She asked, "Could your brother drive me back to my friend's place?"

George said, "He's gone by now, but you have enough clothes here so you don't have to get any."

"But I need to go back so I can have dinner and get ready for work tomorrow. I... I... we had a good talk, I learned some things I needed to know and I said things I needed to get off my chest but I don't want to stay here, it reminds me of too much."

He titled his head and said, "Does that mean you don't want to live with me anymore?"

She quickly said, "I do more then anything but..."

As her voice trailed off he said, "I explained all that to say that disagreements do happen even in the best marriages. Yes, she and I had a special relationship but yours and mine is special too. You are a unique person and I needed to understand that. I love you as you are. You have shown me many things and opened a new world to me. Some of which I do wish I could have shared with Marybeth but at the same time I'm glad I share them with you."

There was a pause as Sunny wept quietly, finally she said, "I love you so much and I ache when I think about what I put you through."

"These ribs will heal and I will be as good as new."

"I wasn't talking about your physical injuries."

"Those things will heal too."

"But I lied to you, I'm sorry I did but I was ashamed that I was still seeing Ronny."

"You can talk to my brother about that, he lied to me a couple of times as we grew up together but you can see that our relationship is good right now. I will get over you lying to me."

"But I cheated on you. I knew better especially after what you did on our anniversary. I have no excuse for that."

"That does bother me a lot but I think I can forgive you once more. You have learned your lesson. When I came to get you at your job I used your full name on purpose. You are still my wife and I want you sleep in my bed next to me."

She moved suddenly adjusting her position and pain shot through his side.

She winced and opened her mouth to apologize. He ignored the pain and put his arm around her.

She cried some more then said, "Everything about you makes me love you more, I can't see myself without you but I would have gone anyway."

There was another pause and he said, "Maybe it's time to get me back to my bed."

She helped him up and helped him to walk back to his room, he laid down on the bed and groaned in relief.

As she walked out he said, "Two things though. First it may have sounded like I was trivializing some of what you did. I wasn't I have forgiven you but it may be some time before I can feel like I can trust you as I once did. It will take awhile for my complete healing and some of my feelings could come to the surface now and then until the healing is complete"

She nodded understanding what he was getting at.

"The second thing is," she looked at him expectantly and he continued, "According to the doctor I should not have any sex for the next couple of months. How long depends on how fast I heal. I can not be on top of you and you or any weight can not be on top of me. "

"I know, the doctor talked to me while you were still in the hospital he wanted to make sure that I didn't do anything with you. He was a little surprised when I said we didn't have to worry about that but he didn't ask why."

While she spoke of the doctor not worrying about that she had a sad look in her eyes. She continued after a pause, "I think he was further surprised when I said I would take care of you when the nurse wasn't there, after what I implied about us not having sex."

He nodded then said, "I'm afraid you will have to sleep in another room."

As he said sleep in another room at first she sadly nodded thinking she knew why so he added, "Its better that you sleep in another room until I get better. No danger of bumping me or one of us doing something else in our sleep."

She nodded in understanding again but this time with a smile.

Sunny helped him to undress and to put on some pajamas. He sighed as he lay on his back.

As she was leaving he said, "You can read Marybeth's diaries if you still want to. I shouldn't have gotten so angry the last time you admitted to reading them, and when I'm better we can redecorate the house."

She nodded, smiled and went out.

A few days later he decided he needed to stretch his legs so he carefully got up to go for a short walk. Just up and down the hallway. Halfway down the hallway he heard a noise he hadn't heard for a while. It was someone groaning in sexual ecstasy. A hard look came to his face for there was just one person who could be making that noise in the house. He quietly walked closer to her room but as he got closer to the door he wondered what was happening since there was only one voice moaning, he moved to the doorway and peeked in.

There was Sunny naked lying on the bed she had been using and she was groaning but she was alone. He looked closer and she had something she was pushing in and pulling out of her slit. He stood there staring for a moment before it came to him. She was using a dildo or vibrator to masturbate. He blinked being surprised, he was not sure if he liked that or not. He kept watching though and after a minute or two her groans got louder like she was close to a climax. A minute later as her hand motions increased in speed, she let out a small sound and came.