Copyright© 2003 by Carlos Malenkov
I can't help wondering what it would be like having sex with a man.
Gina and I have a stable and loving relationship. We've been together a couple of years now, and the sex is still pretty good. Otherwise we get along quite well, except for occasional arguments about money.
Last night we were making love. She was on her hands and knees, and I had my cock deep in her pussy and was reaching around to rub her clit. At that very intense moment, just starting to spiral upward toward orgasm, I began imagining what it would feel like to be a gay man, with a cock deep up my ass, plunging in and out. This powerful fantasy took possession of me and I exploded in mind-shattering ecstasy.
Everyone who knows me considers me the quintessential straight man, as hetero as they come. But I have these unfulfilled needs. And strange dreams...
I can't help wondering what it would be like having sex with a woman.
Gene and I have a stable and loving relationship. We've been together a couple of years now, and the sex is still pretty good. Otherwise we get along quite well, except for occasional arguments about money.
Last night we were making love. I was on my hands and knees, and he had his cock deep in my ass and was reaching around to rub my cock. At that very intense moment, just starting to spiral upward toward orgasm, I began imagining what it would feel like as a straight man, with my cock deep up a woman's pussy, plunging in and out. This powerful fantasy took possession of me and I exploded and I exploded in mind-shattering ecstasy.
Everyone who knows me considers me as the quintessential gay man, as queer as they come. But I have these unfulfilled needs. And strange dreams...
There is a class of differential equations that yield to what is known as a "Laplace Transform." This essentially means shifting things into a drastically different context, where the kinks and complexities of the problem in question unravel and simplify. Then it's just a matter of flipping the solution back to the original context.
Think of it as temporarily visiting a different framework, with a different set of rules. Rules that permit doing and making impossible things... impossible in your home universe, that is. Now if only you could bring a few of those impossible things back...
I caught a glance of myself in the mirror yesterday. For a split-second I thought my eyes had changed color. My blue eyes turned gray? No! It must have been my imagination.
I caught a glance of myself in the mirror yesterday. For a split-second I thought my eyes had changed color. My gray eyes turned blue? No! It must have been my imagination.
I dreamed. I dreamed I had a male lover next to me in bed (I wonder what Gina would think of that?). I dreamed he was softly stroking my ass, then probing with a gentle finger between my cheeks. Gently inserting the finger into me a little way. It was heating me up. There was a deep trembling within me as the tension built up inside. My cock was hard, rock hard. Now he was massaging slippery coldness onto my... opening... hole... asshole. I ached for him. I wanted, I needed him to fill me. Then I felt the warmth of a hand softly stroking my ass, and I awakened next to...
... a stranger.
I dreamed. I dreamed I had a female lover next to me in bed (I wonder what Gene would think of that?). I dreamed she was softly stroking my cock... and... and...
I awakened next to a stranger. It was a woman! A woman! I must have screamed aloud in terror, because she was trying to hug me. To comfort me?
"You must have had a nightmare, darling. It'll be all right. Let me hold you."
I recoiled in horror. What was this WOMAN, this NAKED WOMAN doing here in my home? IN MY BED! Where was Gene? I grabbed my pants and ran.
How could I let myself be driven out of my own home? Who was that woman? Damn it, I knew who she was. It was the woman I'd dreamed about. The one I'd been making love to in a dream. But I was awake now and this was real! Wasn't it?
Who was this MAN beside me? He had his hands on my ass! I must still be dreaming! This was the guy from my dreams.
Well, no reason to get particularly upset. If this were still a dream, might as well enjoy it. I was, after all, curious about gay sex. Dreaming about it had aroused strangely powerful feelings in me. What would it be like to be the one fucked? Having a man's cock inside my ass -- what would it feel like? Would it hurt? Could I possibly get pleasure from it? Well, here I was with a man's hand on my ass and a raging hardon. What the hell, it was only a dream.
It didn't hurt at all. The guy somehow opened me up with his fingers and patiently helped me relax when I tensed up. Releasing sphincter tension is surprisingly easy... if you have a knowing lover to show you how. He used plenty of lube, and that let him slide right in.
Actually, I have to admit I rather enjoyed it. After a while my imagination took over, and I was thinking this must be how Gina feels with my cock plunging in and out of her pussy... filling her. Filling ME. Damn, I liked being filled. The stretched open feeling. The sliding friction. Then the fulfillment with its shuddering release and the oceanic, free-floating cosmic feeling. It was quite a bit more intense than being on the other side. Other side?
I'm starting to think maybe this isn't a dream. I'm fully awake now. These eggs sure taste real. The sausage is quite spicy. I'm sitting at the breakfast table with this stranger. His name is Gene and he knows me. He's been my lover for several years now, he says. My strange behavior when I awoke disturbed him a little, but then I've been acting weird for a couple of weeks now in the morning right after waking up. He's a pretty fair cook.
Come to think of it, Gene looks vaguely familiar. Temperamentally, he's like a male version of Gina. He even resembles her physically in very disconcerting ways. They could have been twins, actually. And yes, it seems to me I've been dreaming about him for some time now. I guess I've somehow crossed over. Crossed over into a dream. A dream world.
I'm back home now, sitting at the kitchen table calmly discussing the matter with Gina. She reminds me of Gene in some ways, and yes, she's been haunting my dreams. For a woman, she's not too bad. I could get used to her. I suppose.
Of course she knows about the strange dreams I'd been having. My other self, previous inhabitant of this body, had been confiding in her. She thinks I'm under the influence of a powerful delusion, but she's willing to humor me. Her love for me (or the person I'm the impostor of) will heal me. So she thinks. She can cook every bit as well as Gene. Eggs and sausage, ah.
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