Chapter 8

The drive to the hospital was a nightmare. Renee would only tell me that there had been an accident involving Stacy and Tori and we needed to hurry to the hospital. She didn't know anything more than it was a bad accident. From the condition of the roads, I wasn't surprised. The snow and ice was awful and in places that looked clear, black ice stretched across all lanes.

I didn't remember the drive, despite the fact that it took twice as long as normal. All I could think of was how badly Stacy could be hurt, was Tori going to be ok and things like that. I suspected Renee's thought process was similar to mine as she kept staring out the window and was very quiet the whole trip. Getting to the hospital didn't work as a wake up call, in fact, it made it worse.

When we arrived at the hospital's emergency room, no one would give us an update on either woman's condition. Since we weren't family to either of them, the nurse on duty refused to give us any specifics beyond them being stable and under a doctor's care. As I found out, the only reason we even knew about an accident was the fact that the Explorer was registered in Renee's and my name. The police had apparently called to let us know about the accident once they ran the plate. Renee frantically questioned everyone in the emergency room for the first hour we were there, but no one was willing or able to discuss particulars with us until Renee happened to run into her doctor. He was also Stacy's physician and had some rough idea of our situation, so he sat us down and told us what he could.

Tori was in ICU and stable. She had a broken left arm, partially collapsed left lung, slight fracture of her pelvis, broken ribs, mild concussion and numerous cuts and bruises. She was likely to heal in the next few weeks, but the pelvic fracture would keep her from walking for the better part of a month. Currently she was in ICU and we were advised not to go see her as she was in and out of consciousness and wouldn't be very responsive. ICU was probably only temporary, the doctor assured us, and she would most likely be transferred to a regular room in a few days. Mainly they wanted to make sure that the lung remained inflated properly and the head injury didn't turn out to be worse than they initially thought. That was the good news.

Stacy was in bad shape. The biggest worry was a closed head injury. She had a major concussion on top of a skull fracture, broken collar bone, broken left arm and leg as well as possible broken ribs. She had apparently been in surgery - an attempt to stop the internal bleeding and to put pins in her leg to keep it stable - when we arrived at the hospital, but the doctor was unable to tell us more. With nothing else we could do, we sat in the cold plastic chairs of the waiting room and stared at the walls. Renee hadn't said anything in almost an hour and that worried me. Normally, she would have at least tried to talk to me. Get me to convince her it would be all right, but this was different. I'd never been around her when she was this scared.

I finally reached out to her. As soon as I touched her shoulder, Renee turned to me, buried her face in my chest and burst into tears. I wanted to pat her on the back and tell her it would be ok, but I didn't want to lie to her. For all I knew, Stacy would die on that cold operating table and I wasn't going to be the one who gave Renee false hope. The doctor returned a little while later with a couple cups of coffee and the surgeon. The operating doctor was a tall, powerfully built dark skinned man and he told us Stacy was out of surgery. She hadn't regained consciousness yet, and the surgeon told us that it could be days before she did. He wanted to keep her in a comatose state in an effort to let the body heal itself. He told us that she had less than a fifty percent chance to make it, but that every day she was alive, there was a better chance she might recover. Keeping her in this state would give her the best chance to make it, even if it meant keeping her under heavy sedation for a week or more. She was currently in ICU on life support machines, but coming out of surgery she did have brain activity, which was very positive sign.

We probably sat there for another couple of hours. My sense of time was completely lost, until a kind nurse came by and led us upstairs to Tori's room at Renee's request. Being that it was the Intensive Care Unit, she was only allowed one visitor at a time, so I let Renee go first and stood outside in the hallway.

I paced the hall for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably only about fifteen minutes before she returned.

"She's sleeping now," Renee said as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me, "she should be ok though."

I held Renee for a long moment as she slumped against me burying her face into my chest and holding on like she never wanted to let go.

"Does she remember anything," I asked quietly.

"Not much, just one minute they were driving along and joking and the next minute the truck overturned and then she was in the emergency room in a whole lot of pain... What are we going to do J?"

"I don't know," I replied softly to the top of her head as I buried my face in her hair, "I just don't know."

We stood there for several minutes then made our way to a nearby couch. I held her for a long time and stared at the wall. Some time later, the doctor found us and basically chased us out of the hospital. Stacy was stable, but they weren't going to let us see her, so it was best if we went some where else to spend the night.

With nothing else to do, we left the hospital. Renee had a key to Stacy's apartment, so we decided to spend the night there rather than make the drive home. She called Stacy's parents while we were driving to the apartment, and let them know what happened. I didn't get much from only hearing half the conversation, but once she was done, Renee mentioned to me that Stacy's parents would be coming as soon as they could get a flight.

I dropped her off at the apartment then ran to the nearby drug store to get some basic items like contact lens cleaner and cases and other toiletries. I brought back some take-out Chinese food as well, knowing that Stacy was unlikely to have left anything in the refrigerator. Upon returning to the apartment, I found Renee curled up on the mattress, snuffling quietly. Neither one of us was really hungry so the food mostly went to waste. After I took out the trash I made up the bed and we crawled under the covers. Renee rolled over so her head was against my chest and cried herself to sleep. I lay for a long time, just holding her before I drifted off into a fitful slumber.

The next morning we both managed to have a quick shower when we got up, then headed out to have a quick breakfast at a Village Inn near the hospital. We were just finishing up when Renee's phone rang. Stacy's parents had gotten a flight and were going to be in around two that afternoon. Renee offered to find them lodgings, but they assured her that arrangements had been made. With nothing else to do, we headed to the hospital. Things were a little better. Tori was groggy but awake, so I again let Renee go in first to see her.

They visited for a few minutes then Renee came out, looking tired and sad. According to my bride, Tori still remembered little of the accident and she was really groggy. It would probably be several days before Tori remembered anything if she ever did. We peeked in on Stacy, but she was still unconscious and on a respirator. Renee got permission to sit for awhile, so I went for a walk. I didn't like seeing Stacy helpless like that and I was having a tremendously hard time dealing with possibly losing her. I found myself wandering into the chapel two floors below. As a very lapsed Catholic, I wasn't exactly looking for the kind of divine intervention I no longer believed in, but the solitude and low light was appealing. I had no idea long I sat there, but some time later I was aware that Renee was sitting with me.

"Looking for God again," she asked me quietly as she turned to face me.

I snorted, "Not likely, it might violate our agreement. How's she doing?"

Renee sighed and leaned over to lay her head on my shoulder. "I don't know. I hate watching that machine breathing for her and she looks so terrible. Her face is all scratched and cut; she's covered with bandages... She's... not like I'd like to think about her. The doctor did tell me that she was still showing good brain activity today, in spite of the fact that she's not conscious, so there's hope." Her voice started to crack at the end of her statement, so I did the only thing I could and put my arm around her. Renee buried her face into my chest and sobbed quietly for a few minutes.

She pulled away after a bit and reached into her purse for a tissue. I let her blow her nose and dab at her eyes, then stood up and we walked out of the chapel together. With nothing to do but hang around the hospital, we decided to run some errands around town, before going to meet Stacy's parents at the airport. We managed to get our errands done in a fog, dropping the perishables in Stacy's fridge then heading for the airport around 1:30. Since we couldn't get down to the gate, we waited patiently by the bag claim until Renee spotted Stacy's parents — Justin and Alicia — coming down the escalator. We met them at the bottom of the moving stairs and exchanged some small talk, before I left to get the car and pull it around while they collected the baggage. They were clearly upset and I didn't feel up to talking much myself.

I'd always felt that they disapproved of me in some way, like I wasn't good enough for their daughter and that they disapproved of how Stacy had chosen to live her life, so I tended to be a little distant with them. Renee talked a blue streak on the short drive to the hospital, mainly, I think, to cover for me. I just had no idea of what to say to Stacy's parents and I didn't want to make things any more strained between us. I dropped them off at the front door let Renee usher them over to Stacy's room as soon as we got there. I parked the car and headed in myself a short time later.

Instead of going to Stacy's room, I wandered by to see Tori. She flashed me a faint grin as I walked into her room and immediately turned the TV down.

"How ya feeling?" I asked with a small smile of my own.

"Better," she rasped, "they have some great drugs in this place."

I chuckled at that and found a chair to sit down by her bed.

"So, did you get the license of that truck that ran me over," she hissed as I sat down.

"Yeah, unfortunately, it's licensed to me," I teased her lightly, "I was hoping you could let me in on what happened."

"Wish I could... one moment..." she took a deep breath and coughed, "one minute we were joking along... and the next I was here in a whole mess of pain."

"I'm sorry about that," I said quietly as I reached for her hand and patted it lightly.

"Oh... I'll heal," she whispered, "but how's Stacy?"

I sat there for a moment deciding how much to tell her and finally said, "She's just up the hall at the moment."

"It's bad isn't it... oh god..." the tears started rolling down her face.

I found a tissue on the nearby cabinet and dabbed at them. "Tori, don't worry about Stacy." I told her, "just worry about getting yourself healed up. We can talk about it another day."

Tori just gave me a sad look and leaned back into her pillows. I sat there with her for another few minutes as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. I didn't want her worried about Stacy, and I was afraid I'd told her too much. I knew she cared a great deal about the leggy blonde and I wanted her to remember Stacy as she'd known her, not as this defenseless person needing a ventilator to breath for her.

Renee intercepted me as I walked into the hall.

"How is she this afternoon?"

"Sleeping now, but she was semi-lucid when I talked to her. Loves the drugs too..." I replied with a small smile.

"Ok... Justin and Alicia are with Stacy for awhile and I'm going to just sit with Tori for a bit. You going to be around?"

"Yeah... I should be," I replied a bit evasively.

"You're going back to that chapel on the first floor again aren't you? Arguing with God again?"

"No... I know better than that. The Almighty is likely to drop the ceiling on me if I try to argue. I told you it might violate our agreement."

"I know," she sighed, "your agreement. I'm just trying to make sure I know where to find you later. Justin and Alicia need a ride to pick up their rental."

"You'll find me. You always do," I replied quietly, kissing her on the cheek.

Naturally I found myself back in that little chapel. I chuckled sardonically but quietly to myself as I sat down. I always tell people that I have a great agreement with the Almighty. I don't go to church and the Almighty doesn't drop one on my poor tender head. Normal people at least give a small laugh; the holy rollers, on the other hand, don't remain friends of mine for very long. Honestly, some people have no sense of humor.

I sat there for awhile, not praying, but staring at the bench in front of me. I'm not religious for a number of reasons that would take a book to fully explain. I do, however, like my solitude and surprisingly a church or, better yet, a non-denominational chapel is the best place to find it. I sat there undisturbed for an hour or so. I kept arguing with myself that if I'd been the one driving, if I'd insisted on accompanying them, this wouldn't have happened. Stupid, I know, but I wanted to believe that I could have prevented this tragedy. I was still sitting there when Renee gently touched my shoulder some time later.