Chapter 8

So there was my dilemma; give up the exquisite multi orgasms that I experienced while screwing with the drug or, do the right thing and flush all the drug in to the waste solvent container. I could easily persuade Ian to part with his supply with the dirt I had on him. But then how could I go through life never experiencing the sheer heaven of my 'special' orgasms? Yet, to continue on and drug innocent people and use them for my own ends was too low and underhand to contemplate. This was a time of profound soul searching, I felt that it was a 'no win' situation, damned if I do, damned if I don't. Could I ever justify doing to others what Ian had done to me? My mind was in turmoil, ridden with guilt that I could even think of doing such a thing and yet driven by the compelling need for mind-blowing sex.

There was no way that I could make such a big decision on my own, I needed to talk to someone, share the burden of making such a epic choice. But the awful truth was, that there was no one I trusted enough that I could discuss this problem with, I was on my own. It was then that I remembered a book that I'd read years ago about a man who lived his life according to a roll of the dice. That way, it would transfer the onus from me and to an inanimate object. This appeared to be the solution, the cheat's way, the coward's way, and the easy way out. I fished in my purse for a coin. Was I really capable of making a life changing decision on the turn of a two pence piece?

I could have argued the pros and cons of my situation for a year and a day and still have come to the wrong conclusion. But then, that was the whole crux of my problem, both decisions would be wrong and both would be right. I was weighing up the two events; do what was decent and honest and would leave me a gibbering unfulfilled wreck, or do what I deep down knew I wanted to do and become a deliriously happy slut. I gripped the copper coin tightly in my hand, so much depended on this small circle of metal. There was no point in delaying it, I had to decide one way or the other; heads, I flush the stuff away, and tails I use the drug as much as I needed to. I flipped the coin in the air, made to catch it but my hands were shaking and uncoordinated. It flew across the room and landed by the wall. I scrambled after it and stood looking down, I wasn't sure what it was and I could barely bring myself to stoop to look.

I steeled myself and knelt down to retrieve the coin. Oh God, no. Oh dear God NO! IT WAS TAILS! I had got what I knew I really wanted but didn't have the courage to do myself. I had used the toss of a coin to choose the option I had so desperately wanted. I sat back in my seat, gripping the coin in my fist. I started to shake, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But there was no doubt that my body knew what it wanted to do. The ache in my crotch suddenly flared in to life and an insistent desire for sexual release consumed me. Without any conscious effort, my hand was quickly back inside my panties and vigorously rubbing at my fanny. I hunched over my desk with my arse off the chair as my hand slapped away at my pussy. My mouth was open and I was soon gasping as an orgasm swept through me.

The climax left me shaking even more, but now that the decision had been made, I felt an immense sense of relief. The direction that my life was about to take was not my choice, the path had been chosen for me by fate, in the form of a two pence piece. I felt a sense of calm and tranquillity not just due to the orgasm, but also because I was free to do what my body's craving demanded, without guilt or remorse. I felt as if a huge burden of responsibility had been lifted from my shoulders, I was at liberty to indulge my carnal desires as I wanted. The ache between my legs began to subside and I was left with a very wet pair of knickers.

I tried to concentrate on my write-up but my thoughts kept straying, my mind was a whirl of situations and possibilities, of who to use the drug on and when and where. I thought of a problem straight away, how was I to administer the drug. I couldn't very well just ask people to slip a milligram or two of the drug into their mouth so that we could fuck our brains out. I would have to employ stealth, learn a lesson from Ian, and perhaps slip some in to someone's coffee. I decided to give up on the write-up and save what I had done so far, and took a zip disk from my desk drawer. There, lying in the drawer was a packet of sweets, soft fudge toffees that I'd been slowly working my way through and there was only three left. I was struck by an idea. I could open the wrapping slightly and embed some of the drug in to the soft toffee, and rewrap it, few people can resist a toffee when offered. Perhaps here was my method of administering the drug.