Chapter 44: Repercussions And Realizations

They sat there, cuddling close to one another, occasionally kissing, and chatting as the sun rose over the lake.

"You know, it feels like it might end up being hot enough to go swimming in this lake," Warren said.

"Yeah, finally. 65 degree days when you're on vacation in July can be a bit of a drag." Sophie picked up her travel mug. "I'm just about out of tea. You?"

"Pretty much. You want I should get a refill?"

"I'll take care of it, Romeo, you just make sure the sun don't set without me."

Warren laughed. "I think we've got some leeway with that, since it's only 6:30 AM." Sophia gave him a kiss on the cheek, and stood up, heading up the path to the cabin with the two teacups.

"Morning, Jess," Sophia said upon seeing her friend on the couch. "What's up?"

"Not much." Jess had a strange look on her face. "Hey, Soph, where's Warren?"

"Down on the dock. I just came up to refill our tea." She giggled. "I woke up this morning with him gently fucking me. Apparently we fell asleep with him still in me, if you can believe that, and when he woke up he decided to wake me up with a little nookie. Then, after we were done, we went down to the dock to see the sun rise."

Jessie got a little faraway look in her eyes. "That sounds positively lovely." Sophie blinked. There was no sarcasm in that comment, and Jessie had never been a romantic-interlude type of person. That's why she fit so well with Crash-they were both aggressive, sarcastic, biting, non-romantic people.

"Look, Soph, I need to ask you a favor," Jessie said, very seriously. "Can I take Warren's tea down to him? I need to talk to him. As long as I'm not interrupting anything, of course."

"Nah, the sun's up and the lovey-dovey stuff had petered out, anyway." Jessie laughed. "We were just going to discuss what we might like to do today, is all. We can do that later." Sophia looked at Jessie quizzically, because Jess had an obvious look of relief on her face. "Jess, is something going on?"

"All will be revealed, Sophia, I promise. But I need to talk to Warren first, especially with him on the dock down there, because I need to talk to him privately. Trust me, Sophia, I'm done with him, I talk to you."

"OK." She went and filled Warren's travel mug and handed it to Jess. "Just don't give him any more hickeys, OK?" she laughed.

Jessie got a very strange look on her face. "I think I've sworn off hickeys for a while. Thanks, Soph," and out the door she went, leaving a very confused Sophia in her wake.

"Hey, Prep Stud." Warren looked around, and saw Jess coming down the path. She got to the dock and handed Warren the travel mug. "Compliments of Sophia's Kitchen-or teapot, at the very least-and Jessica Express Delivery."

Warren laughed. "Morning, She-Devil. No offense, but what happened to Sophia?"

Jessie sat next to Warren. "I asked her if I could borrow you for a bit. I need to talk to you."

"Sure thing, Jess. What's on your mind?"

Jessica took a deep breath. "Remember the little conversation that we had on this very dock about 24 hours ago?" Warren nodded. "Well, I have a confession to make. I lied to you. Now, the reason I lied to you is because I couldn't tell you the truth yesterday. Jason and I had a long talk-a series of them, actually-yesterday, so now I can tell you why and how I lied to you."

She took another deep breath, and stared out at the lake, not looking at Warren. "I told you, yesterday, that you were the only one affected by what happened the other night. That was a lie. I was affected. I was profoundly affected, and I found out later yesterday that Jay was, also."

"The first thing you need to know is that I love Jay with all my heart and soul. But something's been missing. I knew it, and he knew it, but neither of us knew what the problem was. So we just did our thing. It was very comfortable-the way we related to each other, the way we acted, the way we made love. It was comfortable-our relationship has always been comfortable."

"And then I went to bed with you. Fun, right? A harmless diversion? That's what I told you yesterday, right?" Warren nodded. "No," Jessie said, staring down at her hands. "It wasn't. What that little 'harmless diversion' turned out to be was the greatest night of my life-sexually speaking at least, and possibly of all time." Warren's jaw hit the ground. Jessie was staring down at her hands, and wringing them. "You spun my head around. You touched me in a place that I didn't even know existed. It was awesome, and devastating."

Warren didn't know what to say. Jess didn't give him a chance to think of something. "Look, I meant it when I said I love Jason. And I don't love you, not in that way, I'm not in love with you, and I never could be. But making love to you was earth-shattering."

"So, I'm out with Jason yesterday. And we both know something's not quite right, OK? So, we decided we needed to have a big talk, and put everything on the table, everything we were feeling and thinking, with no resentment or recriminations allowed. So I told him."

Warren gasped. "Y'know, that's the reaction I thought I'd get from him," Jessie said with a small smile, looking at Warren for the first time. "But he didn't He said he knew what I meant, because his night with Sophia was the best he's ever had."

"Oh my sweet Jesus," Warren muttered.

"Yeah, what you said. Anyhow, so there we are, me telling him his best friend is better in bed than he is, and him telling me that my best friend is better than I am. We kicked that around for a while, and we discovered that 'better' wasn't necessarily the right word. Different was."

"It was the little things. You're a gentle and tender soul, Warren, and so is that girlfriend of yours. There was one point where you were eating me out, and I saw you look up at me to see if I was enjoying myself-which I was-and you looked up at me with this little grin on your face and a twinkle in your eye. And there was one point where we were doing it, and you reached down and just caressed my tit for a bit. You brushed the hair back out of my eyes at one point. Jason told me that, at one point, he was doing Sophia and she looked up at him and smiled at him, and kind of touched and rubbed his arm. Little things. Even the thing you told me about, when you and Sophia caught each other's eye, and she winked at you."

"You let your guard down completely during sex, Warren. Apparently so does Sophia. Not only do Jay and I not, we're not sure we even know how. You know the joke about the biting and clawing? Now, it is true that I occasionally lose control and do that involuntarily-that night is an example, I really didn't mean to give you a hickey-but somehow that got to be how I am. Jess is an animal in bed, and Jay is a piledriver. That's what we do. One thing Jay has on you, Warren, is that he has more stamina. He can go upwards of 45 minutes and that's before he's had a cum."

Warren gaped at her. "Wow."

"Yeah. So, that's what we do. Minimal foreplay, he mounts me, and rams into me for three quarters of an hour while I bite and claw. The Crashmeister and the She-Devil. It was always good. Don't get me wrong for a second, he's good, and he'd say the same about me. But I found out the other night that it's not enough."

"And, when we were talking, we realized that it's not just sex. The other day, we walked into the living room, and you and Sophia were curled up on the couch, she was snuggled into you, and you had your arm around her, and you were both reading. This, of course, is the opportunity for me to crack wise about the lovebirds, right? Well, I don't remember if I did, but my heart wasn't in it."

"When we were talking, I reminded Jay of this little scene, and I wondered why we never did that, or anything like it, and he said because that wasn't us. And I asked him why it wasn't us, and he said that he didn't know."

"Ah," said Warren, "now I know why you were so defensive when Sophie cracked wise about you guys cuddling last night."

"Yeah," Jessie admitted, "and I am going to apologize to her for that. Anyway, this is what we figured out. Somehow, we got locked into roles. Jay and I are both 'on' a lot of the time; we're natural performers. It's almost like playing a part. You and Soph aren't like that."

Warren laughed. "I'm not quite so sure about that. Whose the couple that goes out and ice dances in front of a few thousand people? Not to mention swing dance clinics at the prom."

Jessie laughed. "You guys aren't performers, you're exhibitionists. Really. You do your thing, and allow other people to watch. Hey, look, I know a little bit about ice dancing, thanks to Sophie. I see the difference between your ice dancing and a lot of your competition. How was it that your friend Christine described you guys?"

"An oasis of romantic true-love dancing in a desert of overly-theatrical bad mock-acting."

"Right. Do you guys ever act? Do you ever play a role, on or off the ice? You don't have to answer, because we both know it's no. Jay and I are locked into roles-Crash and the She-Devil-that really are only part of who we are. But somehow they became almost all of who we are."