Chapter 20

Sarah's Diary

Sarah's Diary - Sunday 30 May

Early into college to get ready for meeting - part 3. Letter from R in my pigeonhole. A love letter! Must have written it last night after he found the photo of me by his bed.

Sunday 30 May [Mike]

Not many people about early Sundays. Nice little break from boredom to have Miss Franklin pop her head into the office to say 'thank you' for my bit of help on Friday. Nice little thing and the word is she's a bit of a star - not that you'd know it to look at her, back in jeans and a shirt. No snobbishness about her either, not like some. One of the advantages of letting women into the college despite the hoo-ha.

She took the discussion room key - seems the French party meeting over-ran. Seems hard on the girl to have to come in on Sunday - said so and she said it was hard on me too. So we chatted about her mum and dad and my missus and the kids. She was just going when she spotted a note in her pigeonhole. It had appeared overnight and I recognised the writing - Dr Whitehead's schoolboy script. I was watching from the corner of my eye as she opened it. There were several pages and she skimmed to the end, then slumped down on the bench, staring at it, tears running down her face.

I went out to her, worried. "You all right, miss?"

"Please call me 'Sarah', if you're going to look after me." She was smiling now, but still crying. "Sorry, Mike - happy tears!" She waved the letter at me. "I'm not used to getting love letters."

Especially on college note paper! Well, well! And Mrs Whitehead buried last Friday. But, come to think, she and this girl had been thick as thieves - always going out together. Never a breath of scandal before - not about Dr Whitehead - despite Mrs W. being older and him with all the girls mooning over him. Well, well.

I patted her shoulder and left her reading the letter.

Sarah's Diary

Sarah's Diary - Sunday 30 May Continued

Weird - because there was a deadline - suddenly everyone was pulling things together. Vera was writing notes for the minutes so I sat back to watch things happen. All the items on my list ticked. And the day suddenly folded up. Meeting over, everybody suddenly anxious to be gone. Vera was making sure that the Sunday lunch and afternoon visits were organised. Glad not to have to try any more. Shaking hands, being kissed, suddenly felt very flat. Just R and me in the lodge.

I suddenly realised that my day was just starting - not finishing. Collected my things from the library and walked back to R's holding hands. Sun shining on us - lunched on last night's leftovers on the lawn, laying on the grass. Slept - full of food and wine. Woke alone and went to find R working in one of the borders - shirtless. Oh! Given choice of working as under-gardener or taking my essay to the study. No choice at all. Realised that R is a serious gardener - and that I might quite enjoy it too. Tea and more snooze in Elizabeth's swing chair. Could this be my life? A typical Sunday? Gave up trying to concentrate on essay and went for more under-gardening. Bliss. Then R with a bundle of theatre tickets - unobtainable! Tonight - Rigoletto - Monday - concert in the cathedral - Wednesday - La Sylphide. Weepy because Elizabeth had booked them. Good - but not perfect - solution to the evening problem. More leftovers for dinner - well tea really. What luxury leftovers! Showered - tension being naked near each other. R in beautiful suit - walked to my room to get best dress. Then to the theatre. Glad of dress because it seemed to be a social occasion. But opera wonderful - total empathy with Gilda over the Duke. Only hope I don't end up in a sack! Walked slowly home with his arm round me. Wouldn't come up to room. I'm in love - beyond hope.

Sarah's Diary - Monday 31 May

Tutorial. Cathedral Concert 7:30. Didn't see R till tutorial. Greeted with a big hug and kiss. Bliss. Agreement to be serious! Worked till six - short tutorial - only overran by two hours! But time for dinner together in town before concert. Another social do. But department staff coming to see me - me! Our relationship seems to be an open secret. I hope this won't go wrong. Glorious music. Realised how much I'd been missing. Drinks with chapter after. Found myself being courted by people I don't know. What is happening? To R's for coffee with a dozen from the department. I seemed to be the hostess! R walked me home. Kiss and apology for not coming up! Told me he loved me. I know and hope.