Copyright © 2003

The thought of this day echoed through my mind like thunder. The only thing louder than that thought was the pounding of my heartbeat. I tried to closed my eyes relax and breath. I waited for what seemed like years before releasing myself from me. Was it a resignation to what was to come. I stepped toward the door and opened it. The street was bare, no movement as if time was standing still.

I had waited a life time, time does it have a measure, I questioned. My questions kept pounding through me. Was I going to be in trouble if I opened that door? Opening a door to a new life time.

Seemly simple, complex only in thought and effort. Pacing the floor, smoking one after the other, I could not unwind. I turned the TV on to no avail. Between the romance displayed the "this Bud's for you commericals".It left me to no end. The phone rings I jump. Just to find a phone solicitor on the other end, wanting to know if I wanted the paper delivered. I replied trying to stay calm."Ms I already get your paper, please do not call here again.

"Was it the waiting, the want, the need. Whatever this was may cope ability level was at an all time low. But still I felt a sense of anticipation. Was I lost in feeling and thoughts. Misforgotten Yesterdays. I had no conclusions just kept hearing the echoing of my mind.

From the first time we had meet and spoke, I knew I was in trouble. Alarmed but felt secure. Confusing eluding. Entranced. I asked what do I allow her to do. Now disgusted with myself, for I had no conclusion on my feelings. In a dream or as in none. She continued to live in my mind.

This was a must be, have to situation, it had to end. With that thought and the feeling of losing myself completely. I went to the phone, dialed her number, she answered, Hmmm She didn't even leave yet. My voice begin to speak words I had yet to hear.

I said Darling, please don't bother. For I do not think I can open my door. My decision had been reached. The echo in my head stopped and I was finally at ease.

For I had ended something that should not have been. It wasn't about time. It was about me, for the first time, It was about me.

The room was quiet. The only sound was the soft rustle of leaves, From the maple tree outside my window. Announcing the presence of a moderate breeze. I rose to fix a glass of water. Walking softly across the floor to my bathroom. I could feel the muscles of my vagina. Remembering the pleasurable thrusts inside of me. A smile crossed my lips as I recalled the perfect love, The hands of my invisible lover.