Chapter 1: Breaking free

I can't say I really understand why my parents wanted children, my sister, Jessica, and I spent our childhood being looked after by a continually changing line of baby sitters and child minders. Jessie was three years older than I and so it was towards her that I looked for help and comfort. Our parents were strict; they made the decisions about our lives. They decided if and when we could watch TV, what clothes we could wear, what subjects we would study and what we would do in the holidays.

When Jessica reached thirteen my parents decided we no longer needed a baby sitter to look after us when they were working or out at night. Even though we were left to ourselves we were careful to complete any work and chores mom and dad set us before relaxing. We had few friends and none that we'd dare invite round to our house in case mom or dad found out.

Strange things stick in my mind from those times I remember when I was about twelve or thirteen Jessie used to come into the bathroom when I bathed and kneel by the bath and help wash my hair and back. Nothing overtly sexual would happen, I'd sit in the bath, and like most boys of that age I'd usually be sporting an erection. She would never mention my erection; we'd just talk quietly about the things that worried us. I think in a way it stemmed from our reliance on each and a need for human contact and love. The baths only happened when our parents were out.

I was fifteen when everything changed, Jessica was eighteen and she left home. She went to the states to work at a summer camp; I guess she enjoyed the sudden freedom she found because she never came home. For weeks I cried myself to sleep, it was three months before I found the letters she had written to me and that my parents had hidden.

My parents never forgave Jessie for leaving; over the following years they did their best to remove her from their lives. However, I couldn't just forget her, Jessie had been my rock in the storms of my childhood, the one person who I knew loved me unconditionally and I had returned that love with all my heart. When she left I found myself being dominated by my parents, they had my life planned and intended I should follow their plan.

I have one skill that made studying easier for me than for most people, and that is that I have a photographic memory. The result was that my parents pushed me into taking extra exams when I was sixteen. I passed my 'A' levels at seventeen and then went to University. My parents decided which University I was to go to and what courses I would do. By that point my life was pretty much controlled by them and I could see no escape. The only rebellion I managed was to add some courses to my degree that I wanted to do. It wasn't much of a rebellion though as I never mentioned the fact that my degree profile had changed. The University was close enough that I could travel everyday, and as my parents refused to help with expenses it made life easier.

I spent the following three years at University trying to make ends meet and not get into too much debt. The trouble is that a part time job doesn't pay that well, my social life was non existent, if I wasn't studying I was working and despite that when I graduated at 21with a masters degree, I still ended up owing the bank about £20,000.

I was sitting at home a week after finishing Uni, when the postman knocked at the door with a registered letter; I was surprised to find it was for me. The letter was from Jessie; inside there was a first class ticket to Los Angeles, a cheque for £25,000 and a very short letter.

Dear Bobby

Congratulations on getting your degree. I think it's about time you came for a visit and so here's a ticket, I've arranged a visa through a friend all you need to do is collect it from the US embassy in London.

The cheque should pay off your student debts and leave you some spending money.

Looking forward to seeing you.

All my love, your big sis

Jessie

Xxxxxxxx

P.S.

I'll let you decided what to tell mom and dad.

I was dumbfounded and amazed; Jessie must have an amazing job to be able to afford this.

I knew my parents would freak and do all in their power to stop me. All our lives our parents had been pushing us and demanding we follow their rules and decisions. At 18 Jessica had managed to escape, I didn't blame her, but it had meant that for the past six years I had been the sole person to be brow beaten by them. Then Jessie's letter arrived and I saw a way to escape and I jumped at it. I didn't mention Jessica's letter to my parents, one day while they were out I packed my bags and leaving a note, walked out the door. As the door closed behind me I knew, no matter what happened in the future, that I wouldn't be returning to this house.

Less than a week later I was standing in the airport terminal looking for Jessie. Looking around I noticed a tall, slim, longhaired blonde; her back was to me, offering a view of her great figure in a light summery dress. I did a quick double take as she turned round and suddenly found myself smiling as she ran towards me.

"Bobby, god it is you, you look great"

I laughed as I grabbed her in a hug and kissed her cheek.

"You look amazing Jessie, how are you doing"

"I'm great, welcome to America"

With those words she hugged me close and kissed me, her lips lightly brushing against mine.

"Come on bro, let's get out of here"

We grabbed my bags and then she clasped my free hand and led me out to the car park.

Just over an hour later we pulled into a driveway that led up to what looked like a redundant lighthouse. As we approached it I realised the old lighthouse had been incorporated into a palatial house.

"This is your place?"

I asked as we pulled up in front of a double garage.

"I like to call it home," said Jessie with a laugh.

"It's amazing, but what the hell do you do? You must have a great job"

"Haven't mom and dad told you?"

"No, they don't mention you at all. I didn't realise you kept in touch with them"

"I haven't heard from them for a couple of years, and then it was one letter sent to the studio"

"Studio?"

"O god, OK, I'm an actress"

"What, god that's great why haven't I seen any of your films"

"I make adult films"

"How do you mean?"

"I'm a porn star"

"What?"

"A porn star, you know I have sex on film"

"O my god"

"Look Bobby, why don't we finish this conversation inside, OK?"

Grabbing my bags we headed into the house, as I followed Jessie inside I realised she was worried about how I would take the news of her career. I couldn't deny I was surprised and maybe even a little shocked. I dropped my bags in the hall and followed Jessica into the living room.

"Do you hate me because of what I do, or maybe think I'm a slut?"

"O god Jessie no, I love you, I don't care what you do for a living, what's important to me is that you're happy"

"Thanks little bro"

We hugged each other.

"So what did mom and dad say when you told them you were coming here?"