Chapter 107

Kristen was so excited about the band accepting her insistence on top billing, that she began dancing around the room. She was wearing my shirt and it was flapping around exposing her naked body. It was a huge turn on, so I grabbed her and pulled her to me.

We kissed for a long time. I was a little breathless when we pulled away andI said, “You, uhh, mentioned something about making love?”

She threw my shirt off and was dragging me toward the bed when her cell phone rang.

She frowned and said, “I have to take this,” and she talked nonstop to what seemed like a dozen people for the next half hour. Someone else would call every time she tried to hang up.

She finally turned her phone off and slammed it down after the last call, then came to me, hugged me tightly, and said, “I have to go. We have problems with the people we booked the east coast tour with and Dad insists that I come home and spend some time with him before I leave, so this one will have to hold us for the time being,” and she started toward the bed. My landline then rang. I was ready to ignore it, but she sighed, went to it, and without asking who it was, said, “Okay, Daddy, I’m leaving now.” She shook her head and began putting her clothes on.

Surprised, I asked, “How did you know it was him?”

“Because I know my dad, and I just hung up on him. He knows that I’m here and he called on your phone when he couldn’t get through on my cell.”

“So you have to leave right now?”

“Yeah, I really do. You don’t dare ignore my dad when he gets this way. My dad loves me and he knows that I’m going to be gone for quite a while, so I really do have to go.”

I hugged her when she finished dressing. Thinking about her leaving was bumming me out, and I said, “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know, Dear, I don’t want to leave either,” and she reached down and rubbed my crotch. I was hard in an instant after seeing her naked for so long, and I groaned, “God, I wish that we had time to make love.”

She was obviously affected as well, because her face was flushed and she was trembling when she said, “I do too, my love, but there just isn’t time.”

Still touching my cock, she shocked me by adding, “Nell will be here tomorrow, I’m sure that she’ll take care of this for you.”

What she said surprised and annoyed me. I grabbed her by the shoulders, and barked, “I didn’t say that I wanted to fuck, I said that I wanted to make love and I want it to be with you.”

She stared at me for a long minute, then said, “You have no idea how hard it is for me to leave you. Don’t think for a minute that I don’t hate the idea of you being with another woman. This thing with the band is a tremendous opportunity and I know that I’ll regret it if I don’t take advantage of it. I’m in a tough business, and things like this rarely come along.”

“I thought you were appearing at all those places in New York?”

“I’ll get more exposure out of this than I could get in five years of working those places in the Catskills and other small clubs around here and in New York.”

“What about that TV special and your records and things?”

“That TV thing would be wonderful, but it hasn’t happened yet and even as good as Amy and Mom are at promoting things, it has to do with scheduling and a whole lot of other stuff, and it might never happen. As far as my records go, my kind of music takes constant promoting. Tomaso insisted that I stay with ballads from the beginning. There are tons of very talented people out there who sing top 40, but not a lot of us who sing ballads, and...”

She had turned her phone back on and it immediately started ringing. She looked at it and said, “It’s Dad again, I really have to go. I love you, kiss me goodbye.”

We kissed and she was gone a second later.

I sat on the bed for a long time thinking about what had happened over the last few days. I had told Kristen that I loved her. I’d meant it when I’d said it, but now she was gone. She wasn’t just gone for a day or two, she’d be gone for months, and it made me angry. My head told me that I was being silly and that she shouldn’t pass up the opportunity, but I felt like I’d been deserted with everyone else gone too. Then there was the business of the girl in the hospital. I’d thought it was Brandy and I remembered how terrible I’d felt thinking that someone I’d known was dead, and then there’s the business about Della being pregnant and how she must have felt. The last few days had been overwhelming, and I felt like I needed to talk to Amy.

I realized something the instant the thought hit me. I didn’t go to Mom or Dad whenever I had a problem or a concern about something, I went to Amy, but she was gone too, and then I really started to get angry. How could all these people be gone when I needed them?

I thought about calling Nell, but we didn’t have that kind of relationship, and I was thinking about that when my cell phone rang.

I could see that it was Nell on caller ID, so I gathered my wits about me and answered with, “I was just thinking about you.”

“Really, was I wearing clothes?”

“All you had on was a hat with a feather in it.”

“Aha, so you like feathers. I’ll have to show you some things to do with a feather the next time we’re together.”

“I bet you will. So, what’s up?”

“My people just called me about that girl from the hospital. Her name was Marylyn Simpson, and she lived in the hills not far from where they found her. It looks like it wasn’t an auto accident after all. They found a bicycle in some bushes this morning, and judging by some skid marks, it looks like she hit a patch of sand and went off the road. They said that she fell more than three hundred feet and landed on a road below.”

“Wow! It’s a wonder that she lived until she got to the hospital.”

“Yes it is. She apparently hit things several times on the way down, and landed next to a house. The people actually heard her screaming as she fell. They called 911 and the paramedics were there in less than fifteen minutes.”

“Did she have a family?”

“She had a husband, is all. The police took her fingerprints after you left and they contacted him. He’s a fireman and he works twenty-four hour shifts, so he didn’t even know she was missing until the police contacted him.”

“Poor guy.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame. I want to thank you for getting there as soon as you did. I hope that I wasn’t too demanding.”

“Its okay, I knew you were upset. I know that Brandy is your friend.”

“She’s more than just a friend, Pete. I love her. She’s one of the few people in the world I can say that about. I know you think that she’s just a party girl, but she’s a lot more than that to me.”

“So, you and she are like, uhh, lovers?”

I thought that I heard her laugh a little before she said, “If you mean, do we have sex with each other? You know that we do, you’ve been there. You’ve even been a part of it.”

“I know, but is there more than just that between the two of you?”`

She raised her voice a little and said, “Do we fuck each other, yes. Do I love her, yes, but am I IN love with her? No. She’s my best friend and I would do anything in the world for her, but we’re not going to start picking out furniture together. We have separate lives and we like it that way. Why are you so concerned about her?”

“I’m curious about you and I’m curious about us. You’re giving me an opportunity of a lifetime and you’ve never asked for anything in return. I know that you’re attracted to me, but you’ve said some things that I don’t understand. You said that you were going to remain exclusive to me, but you don’t seem to care if I see other people. You know about Kristen and you even offered Brandy to me. Why isn’t that a problem if you have feelings for me?”

“Those are good questions. You deserve an answer and it’s time that we talked. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together soon and I was actually planning to sit down with you when I got back from this trip, but I guess this is as good time as any. You said that I never asked for anything in return. Well, I’ll tell you what I get from you and why I want you with me. Let me start by saying that I was attracted to you when I met you in Las Vegas. I like big guys because I’m a big girl. You’re huge, you’re built like a brick shithouse, and you’re as handsome as a fucking movie star. On top of everything else, you’re a nice guy. I didn’t know you were only seventeen when I met you, but it wouldn’t have mattered. I was going to fuck you and never see you again. We didn’t have sex that first night, but I got to know you a little and I couldn’t get you out of my head for some reason, so I made up my mind that I was going to get to know you when you and Erin showed up at the store that day. I wasn’t prepared for what happened when you showed up at the beach house though. I’ve been with a lot of men, but sex with you took me places I’d never been to before. I’d found out how old you were by then, and I couldn’t believe that a seventeen year old kid could affect me as much as you did. I still can’t! You actually scared the shit out of me and I thought about not seeing you again. That’s how it is with me, Pete. I meet a guy, I fuck him, and I never want to see him again when it’s over, but all I could think about with you was the next time that we could be together. The funny thing is that I was ready to be disappointed. I was sure that what happened that night was a one time thing. Well, it wasn’t. The next time was better than the first and for me, it continues to be better every time we’re together. I’ve never had anyone affect me like that before, and it isn’t only the great sex. Something happens to me when I’m with you. It’s hard to explain, but I feel safe and somehow at peace for the first time in my life when you’re with me. So don’t ever say that I don’t get anything in return, and there’s more, you came...”

I interrupted her with, “I’m really flattered, Nell, but how can you insist that I be with other women if you feel that way about me?”

“I don’t insist on it, I’m just not bothered by it. Look, you’re seventeen years old and you’re a healthy young man. I’m twenty six, I’m married, and I work all the time. We don’t have a future together. I’m grateful for the time that we spend together and I don’t want to jeopardize it by insisting that you remain faithful to me. It wouldn’t work and you know it.”

“But why did you promise not to have sex with other men?”

“I said it for a couple of reasons. The first one is because of you. Most men are fragile. They can fuck everything in sight, but they get their feelings hurt if a girl they’re interested in strays a little. Secondly, I simply don’t want to be with anyone else at least for the time being.”

“The time being, eh? That means that I’m just the flavor of the week and you’ll lose interest when something better comes along?”

“No, it doesn’t mean that at all. It’s not me. I’ve seen some of the girls you’ve been with. Take Kristen, for instance. She’s so gorgeous that I’d like to jump her myself, then there’s Monique, the model who you hang around with. She’s a world class beauty. I don’t have a chance against girls like that. I’m not the one who’ll lose interest, you are.”

“I don’t understand you. You’re rich, you’re beautiful, and you’re smart as hell. Where did this lack of confidence come from?”

“It’s not lack of confidence; I’m just facing reality.”

“How is that reality? You seem to have everything a guy could want in a girl.”

“Thank you, but I have everything except a life. Burgers is my life. I work all the time and I work hard, but I don’t really have a life outside of Burgers. I make it to a party like the one in Las Vegas sometimes, but I wouldn’t have been there if I wasn’t already in town for a business meeting.”

“Someone said that you were there to meet a guy.”

“There was no guy. Look, I know you’ve heard the stories, so let’s get this on the table. I’m sure that you’ve heard that I’ll fuck anything in pants. Most of it is bullshit, but not all of it. I just miss being with someone sometimes, so I’ll go find a stranger and have sex with him. Having sex with strangers is not really satisfying but it takes my mind off things for a short time. My marriage is a sham, and I haven’t wanted a relationship up till now, so it works for me for a while. The sex is generally not that good, but I can forget everything and feel the closeness of being with another person for a brief moment. I can’t wait to get away from them when it’s over. That’s why I pick strangers.”

“Is that the way it is with everyone you’ve been with?”

“It is with everyone except Brandy, and now you. Brandy was the only person I’d ever really been comfortable with until I met you. Sex with her is wonderful, but I’m just as satisfied when all we do is hold each other.”

“Have you tried being with other girls?”

“A few, but I’m not a lesbian, and the girls I’ve been with always want me to think of myself as one. They all want to change me. Brandy doesn’t.”

“But things are okay when you’re with me?”

“They’re better than okay.”

“I can’t believe that someone as attractive as you hasn’t found a man who you could be happy with.”

“I told you that I was raped when I was fifteen. Well, it took me a while before I could stand being around men. I joined a martial arts class and that helped. It helped so much, as a matter of fact, that I continue with it, but it wasn’t until I got into college that I could stand having a man touch me other than during martial arts. I gradually got better and all the girls were having sex when I was a sophomore, so I decided that it was time, but I didn’t want to do it with a guy at my school. I was at a mall one day, and I let a guy pick me up and take me to his place. I was nervous as hell, but he was more nervous than I was and it was over in a few minutes. It wasn’t good sexually, but I learned that I could be around a man without being repulsed by him. I hooked up with a few guys over the next couple of years, and I even had a boyfriend for a short time. It didn’t last long because my thoughts were always about Burgers. We only had a few stores then, and I worked at them after school and on weekends. I worked in every department and I learned everything that I could about every phase of the business. I started working for the company full time when I graduated from college. We opened three more stores just about then, and my dad made me the manager of all three stores when I was twenty one.”

“Wow! Twenty one years old and you managed three huge stores. That must have been daunting.”

“Not as bad as you might think. I was ready. What I wasn’t ready for was what happened a couple of years later. We were in the middle of a giant expansion. We were opening stores left and right. Things were booming, then my parents were killed in a boating accident one day, and I was left with controlling interest in the entire company. I’m sure that they didn’t mean for that to happen, but there was no one else and they didn’t know they were going to die. You asked why I never found anyone who I wanted to be with. That’s hard to do, when you work fourteen to sixteen hours a day seven days a week.”

“How did running everything work out?”

“Not bad. I made a few mistakes, but the Board didn’t like the fact that someone as young as me was running things and they started making noises about trying to replace me. One of the Board members fortunately is a family friend and has always been like a second father to me. He saw what was happening with the Board and he was worried that they were going to force me out, so he suggested that I marry John.”

“So the marriage was arranged?”

“Yes it was. John is actually good at some things. He’s a prick, but he’s smart and he knows how to schmooze. He was able to get some business things done that I couldn’t because he knows how to talk to the good-old-boys. Most of them unfortunately think that the ideas were his, and my credibility has suffered because of it.”

“Doesn’t your friend on the board stick up for you?”

“He does, but we keep our friendship low profile. Information is easier to come by when people don’t know how close we are.”

“That’s quite a story. Does it bother you to talk to me about it?”