They say you can never go home again, well, I was going home. After three years of being out on my own I was returning to the town where I was born and the place I had been raised. The neighborhood looked just the same as it did the day I left, nothing much had changed. I knew home would be different though, now with Mom gone.

It's strange, but on the Interstate I had driven above the speed limit to get here faster, I felt some need that I just couldn't explain, but now that I was within a couple of streets I had slowed right down to look at familiar scenery and landmarks.

Nostalgic, maybe, but more likely afraid knowing what awaited me when I got to my destination. Yet I knew I had to face it.

An empty house. Well, no, my sister takes care of the place now and surprisingly she was thrilled to hear I was coming for a visit, I had expected her to say no. I had been back for Mom's funeral of course so I already knew what it would feel like to be home without Mom, though her presence could still be felt everywhere. Mom alone had raised us, my sister June and I, when Dad died shortly after we were born. It was just June and I now.

I had tried to talk to her after the funeral but I didn't know what to say, as always, and didn't bring it up. Besides, it wasn't the right time. The three of us, Mom, June, and I had agreed never to talk about it, but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. For seven years I had kept the secret, and my personal life has been suffering as a result.

Now at twenty-one I live alone and don't get out much. What few friends I have are worried about me and even I know something has to change. I think about it constantly, though with time some of my memories have faded. Some appear to me cloudy and just out of focus, probably for the best. One in particular keeps coming back in dreams, almost as if calling to me, telling me to do something. I have many questions, and many things to face up to. I have to come to terms with what I did, and that means facing June.

One year older than me, June had looked after all the arrangements for Mom's funeral. Again I felt bad for not taking some responsibility, for not helping in someway. It seems June always has to be the one to shoulder everything. We barely said two words to each other when I decided to leave that first time, my fault once again as I distanced myself from her, but seven years is a long time and it's about time we talked.

Pulling into the driveway I can see that from the outside the house appears almost the same, maybe a little worn around the edges but nothing an afternoon or two and a little paint wouldn't fix. The roof will need to be done soon though, that much is certain, and on closer inspection I can see at least one cracked window. It's late fall and the leaves have yet to be picked up either, the house has obviously been seriously neglected.

June is all by herself here and I guess in need of help. Maybe it's time to sell the place, that or find a boyfriend who can help with repairs. I suspect she doesn't want to bring a man into mother's house, even though it's really hers now.

Barely nine in the morning, it occurs to me that June may not even be up yet, but as I'm stepping out of the car the front door opens and there she is, smiling and waiving ecstatically to me.

"Hurry up and get in here, it's cold outside."

"You don't have to tell me that June."

"Damn it's good to see you Ricky, how's my favorite little brother?"

"As far as I know June, I'm your only little brother, but yeah it's good to see you too."

I walk up the steps and in through the door, and immediately June envelops me in a big hug, her arms so tight around me that it's hard to breathe. I follow suit, my hands going into her long black hair which extends down her back. We kiss each other on the cheek before pulling back, not letting go mind you, but far enough so that we can look into each other's eyes.

We're both grinning now, almost giddy, and soon we embrace again, rocking each other slightly with our faces pressed tight, our cheeks growing warm. As we pull away, neither of us wanting to, our lips mistakenly brush together lightly, but as our eyes make contact we once again draw near, and kiss. Our lips meet, it's all innocent enough I suppose, but we do come together and remain that way for a good second or two. When we do separate I see that June's eyes are watery, and for the first time I realize so are mine.

"Well, that's proof then, isn't it. God it's good having you home again Ricky, I miss you so much, I wish you hadn't gone away, why can't you move back?"

"I don't know, I like living alone."

"Nonsense, no one likes living alone, I know I don't. I need a friend, someone to talk to you know?"

After one last rib cracking hug June and I release each other and as she steps back I see for the first time how my sister is dressed. A short loose fitting night shirt, no bra as you can see her nipples easily enough through the fabric, and a thin pair of white cotton panties on below. My eyes focus in on her long bare legs, and the goose bumps standing out on her thighs.

"June no wonder you're cold, go put some clothes on."

"I'll warm up in a minute now that the door is closed, the heat's on, and holding you certainly helped a lot already. Besides, this is how I always dress when no one is here, it's very comfortable. Why, does it bother you, I could go put something on if you want me to."

"Well whatever you want June, I guess it's alright."

"It's how I've always dressed, as you should very well remember. What's on your mind exactly, you look worried Ricky, have you been sleeping alright?"

"Honestly, not much."

"Thinking about Mom?"

"Yeah, among other things, the past, you know."

June and I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch together, June right up along side me. The pillow and blankets rolled up behind her told me this is probably where she slept last night, or sleeps every night as far I know.

"How was the drive down?"

"Long."

"You should have flown."

"Well, I had some thinking to do before I got here."

"Don't think too much, I wouldn't want you to strain yourself. Do you get out of the apartment much, are you seeing anyone, do you date?"

"Not really, there's been one or two, nothing serious. What about you?"

"Same, nothing serious. I don't have time really with work, and then having to look after this place, I mean where would I meet someone?"

"I'm sorry to hear that June, I really am. You deserve someone who can make you happy."

"Well, I can make myself happy, if you know what I mean."

June smiled mischievously when I frowned, not catching her meaning at first, and to illustrate for me spread her legs slightly and rubbed her hand over her sex through the material of her panties. While only for a second I still felt my face flush over, and of course a stirring in my pants. June laughed at my discomfort.

"Oh what's the matter, everybody does it, even you, yes?"

I didn't respond, and remained silent as I looked around the room at familiar objects, my eyes falling on a picture of June and I playing together when we were just kids. Memories stirred and I breathed deeply, and a little more loudly than I had intended. June heard me and turned to look at what had caught my attention.

"That was a long time ago. We had some good times didn't we Ricky?"

All of this was only making it harder and I felt a tear roll down my face before I even knew it was there. I tried to hide it but June was fast, reaching up with her hand and wiping it away. Again she leaned in and wrapped her arms around me, our bodies tight. Her hands moved up and down the curve of my back, and after a second I returned her kindness.

"You see Ricky, no one wants to live alone. We need each other right now, so come on, say you'll move back home."

I pulled away, June obviously didn't want to, and I looked deep into my sister's eyes. Through them I could see her offer was sincere, but I couldn't understand why. It had to be said, no matter how much it hurt, I just couldn't keep it in any longer, and I needed answers.

"I just don't get you June. Why, why would you want me here?"

"Why, because you're my brother, and I could really do with some help around here for starters. This place is starting to fall apart."

"Yeah I noticed outside, but after what happened, what I did."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, when we were kids, you were what, fourteen, I must have been thirteen."

"What are you talking about... no you can't mean, oh for crying out loud that was seven years ago, and like you said we were just kids. Get over it and get on with your life, I know I have."

"Still it shouldn't have happened, you do know how sorry I am right?"

"I know, you said it a thousand times back then and cried just as much as I did. Look, you didn't mean to get me pregnant, and it wasn't entirely your fault, I mean it's not like you raped me or anything, I spread my legs for you quick enough, I was just as willing to try sex with you. And, well, after Mom took me to the clinic we never did it again anyway."

"Do you remember much of that time cause my memory isn't clear on a few details."

"A little, like you said we were so young then, and stupid, maybe if the school passed out rubbers it wouldn't have happened."

"Why didn't you ever tell Mom it was me who got you pregnant?"

"Oh right, she would have killed you, or it would have killed her, simple as that. I just blamed it on a boy at school who I said I had been fucking around with and I refused to give his name."

"June, I don't remember if I asked back then, but..."

"It was a girl."

"What?"

"My baby, our baby sorry, it was a girl."

"Oh Jesus no, I didn't know you knew that, but that's not what I was asking."

"She would be in second grade now, and just as old as we were in that picture you were looking at... I'm sorry what did you want to ask me then?"

"Do you hate me?"

"What?"

"Do you hate me for what I did?"

"Stop saying that, what you did, I seem to remember that when we did it I came to your bed, I snuck into your room and I came to you remember, and well, then you came in me."

"Stop it June that's not funny."

"No you stop it, that's life, we had our fun and then we had to pay the consequences, we were just stupid little kids, that's all."

"I knew what I was doing June."

"Well, not really, it took you three attempts to get that thick shaft of yours inside me as I recall, you couldn't find my fuck hole, and apparently you knew nothing about a woman's body, refusing to go any deeper once you hit my wall, my hymen. I had to pull you down into me, make you open me up, didn't you know what being a Virgin meant?"

"You bled some, I remember that, I thought I had hurt you so bad. Jesus Sex Education in school was so pathetic, a ten minute grainy film using puppets to explain male anatomy. Hell I already knew about myself, I wanted to learn about women."

"Well I helped you there. Two other girls in my class were also pregnant, but nobody knew about me. I was so scared to tell Mom, I was four months when she finally figured it out, watching me look at myself in a mirror, my belly just starting to stick out over my jeans. You know I use to lay awake at night and just run my hands over my swelling tummy."

"Speaking of swelling, we all knew about Stacy and Paul though."

"Yeah, apparently we weren't the only brother and sister act back then, and she almost went full term before her parents found out. At home she hid it really well with baggy sweaters. She was devastated after her abortion, I heard she tried to commit suicide and that eventually her and Paul ran away together. I know it took a long time for me to get over the pain."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted our baby, oh I know now that she might have been born wrong, but I still wanted a baby so bad back then. Like I said, I was young and stupid. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I absolutely hated Mom for making me have an abortion."

"Well some of that hate must have been directed at me."

"Why, I loved you, and at the time I loved you for what you gave me, a baby, you put a baby inside me. I loved making love with you that one time, I loved getting fucked by you okay, and I loved it when you held me in your arms. We could always talk you and I, or just lay there, we were always trying stuff and you didn't force me to do anything. You treated me like I was someone special which is what I wanted. What do you want Ricky, why did you come home?"

"I honestly don't know June, to ask your forgiveness I guess."

"Well that's silly, cause there's nothing to forgive, we were just stupid little kids playing around and we made a mistake, end of story. Now come on, let's get you settled in."

I found everything in my old room to be absolutely dust free and in the exact same position I had left it, nothing had been thrown out. The thermostat controlling the heater had already been turned to on and the air was pleasantly warm.

"Mom didn't know what to do with your old things so she just left them, and after she died I started coming in here to clean up a little bit, you know, whenever I was doing the rest of the house anyway. Well, I'm going to hit the shower, you unpack and then we'll decide what we're going to do today."

The baseball card collection I kept was the first thing I noticed in the top drawer of my dresser, and when I looked in the closet I discovered several of my old comic books. I took one of them, laid down on my old bed, and started reading through it.

June and I were really big into comics. Spiderman, Superman, we read them all. We spent much of our free time in my room laying on our stomachs, like I was now, the both of us side by side. Of course that was before we discovered our other mutual interest, in other words, before we started having sex.