Chapter 2: Consequences

by Drifter

When morning came and I awoke I knew it wasn't a dream. It was my worse nightmare instead. And I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with this. As I looked over at my unfaithful wife asleep in our bed, she looked so beautiful. I felt the hurt in every part of me.

I got up and dressed as quietly as I could, thinking I would wait until Pete had left before saying anything. As I started to leave the room I heard my wife say, "Hi honey, you're up early."

I looked down at her and the lump in my throat felt like a baseball. How could she act like nothing had happened? Apparently it had come with lots of practice deceiving me. I couldn't speak or look at her so I just nodded and looked away leaving the room. I heard her scrambling to get out of bed as she called "David?"

Downstairs I put the coffee on and walked outside on the deck overlooking the yard while I waited for it to brew. I stared sightlessly across the neighborhood and wondered the oldest of questions, why... why did she do it. But I had heard her explanation the night before as she and Pete discussed it. It was just sex. She had fucked him because he was so good. He must have been. She had been fucking him most of the time we had been dating, during the time we planned our wedding, and how many times since the wedding? I remembered her words encouraging him to stop by regularly...

I heard the door open and Karen stepped out on the deck stopping a couple of feet from me. She had her ratty old robe wrapped tightly around her. I looked up and our eyes met. Hers seemed to be filled with questions... and fear. Then she spoke, "David are you alright?"

I sighed heavily and said in a dead, flat voice, "Not really." and walked past her into the kitchen. She followed and watched as I poured me a cup of coffee. I looked at her again and after a long pause I said softly, "Tell Pete goodbye for me. On second thought don't bother telling the son-of-a-bitch anything, just get the cocksucker out of this house. I may be back later... maybe."

I walked out the door and I heard her say, "David... wait... please don't go... what's wrong honey? I love you. Please come back." I stopped and looked over my shoulder at her briefly and then got in my jeep and drove off.

I made it as far as the end of the block and the tears started to flow. I pulled to the curb and killed the engine. Now I just laid my head on the steering wheel and let the emotion flood out of me. I hadn't been there very long when I heard a car pass me and I looked up in time to see Pete drive by looking pale. I first thought he had obviously been rudely awakened and rushed out of our house. I corrected myself as I thought, it only used to be our house. I wondered what words had passed between the two long time lovers as she woke him and told him to leave. Had she said she thought that I knew about them? Was Pete worried about a jealous husband? Was Karen even concerned about the consequences? And more importantly what the hell was I going to do?

I drove around for awhile. Stopped for more coffee and then drove out to the lake. As I sat overlooking the tranquil water my thoughts kept going over our years together. Karen had seemed to be happy with me in all departments including sex. I know I had been happy. In fact I had been happier with Karen than any other time in my life. Now that was history. I guess I was good sex but Pete was great sex. I felt utterly betrayed more than anything else. She had let him fuck her long before she had let me. I felt like a fool, the clown, and I wondered how they must have laughed as they continued to fool around behind my back.

I sat there for what seemed like hours as I relived every precious day I had spent with Karen. They all took on a different meaning when I thought all those days she had been slipping around fucking my old roommate behind my back. Finally I knew I had to go face it with Karen, with my wife, my unfaithful wife.

As I pulled into the driveway her car was still where it had been when I left. I stood looking at the house that we had struggled to buy, and then worked hard to make a home. What a joke it all had been. I walked in the back door quietly wondering where she was... what she was doing? My heart was pounding, my palms sweaty, I was shaking nervously. Then I turned the corner out of the utility room and saw her sitting at the kitchen table. She was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and sat looking out the window. I could see her eyes were red from crying. All I could think of was she was sorry... yeah sorry she had gotten caught.

She heard my steps and turned to look at me. She stared unfocused briefly then our eyes made contact. She made a soft sound like "Ohhhhh" that sounded painful. I understood the pain, at least my pain Then she said, "David?"

I just stood there, maybe three or four steps from where she was sitting. I couldn't speak so I just stood there waiting, for what I had no idea. How do you undo what had been done? I pondered. My mental answer was, you don't.

Again she said, "David please talk to me."

I spoke, so low it was almost a whisper, "What could I possibly say Karen? That I woke up during the night to find you gone from our bed? That I found my wife fucking my old roommate? That I listened to learn you had been fucking him a lot longer than you had been fucking me? That you had made a total fool out of me from the very start? That it was all a sham, everything, our dating, the words of love, the marriage vows... everything between us had been a lie on your part? Is that what you want to hear me say?"

She gasped and the little color that had been remaining in her face drained. I walked past her to our bedroom and got my luggage out and started packing. I sensed her standing in the doorway as I continued to fill my bags. Then I heard a small voice say, "Isn't there anything I can do? Can't we talk? I love you David. I know you find that hard to believe after I have played the slut so well but it is true. I love you and only you."

I looked over at her and my face must have looked ugly as she blanched visibly, then I said, "And what about Pete? What about your feelings for him? What about the next time he drops in at your invitation for another piece of your ass?"

I didn't wait for an answer but closed my suitcases and carried them downstairs to the back door. I sat them down and went into my study and got my briefcase. Karen had followed me and watched as I opened the drawer and took out the colt 45 I kept there and slid it into my briefcase.

She gasped, "What do you need that for David?"

I couldn't resist as I said, "I may go hunting, I guess some two legged mammals are in season now." Then after a pause I continued, "Or I may just use it on myself. I guess it would bother you if I went after your precious Pete."

She stood there in shock and without another word I walked past her and loaded everything into the jeep.

She stood in the driveway, "Please don't go. Stay, we can get past this. I swear I will make it up to you. I will do anything you say anything." I started the jeep and she said, "Where are you going David?"

I didn't answer her but pulled out of the drive. I knew where I was going. I have a cabin on a lake in the mountains nearby. Far enough out I could be alone. Close enough to commute to work later if I decided to... Right now I intended to take some time off.

I stopped at a pay phone and called my boss. I told him I had a major problem and needed a few days to think it over. He told me to take all the time I needed. My next stop was for supplies.

As I drove down the highway I became numb and stayed that way until I killed the engine beside the cabin. I just sat there for awhile staring. The questions were gone, the thoughts were gone. I slowly lugged the stuff into the cabin and started a fire in the big old fireplace. By the time I had put everything away it was roaring nice and warm breaking the mountain chill.

I just stood and stared at the fire as my mind relieved everything that I had seen happen the night before. I pictured Karen eagerly accepting Pete' cock. I remembered the dialog between them as if it were on a recording, and I knew it was over and my cock was hard again. How could it be so hurtful and exciting at the same time?

The week drug by. I slept, ate, went for long walks around the clear cold mountain lake. A tarn, I remembered a mountain lake was called a tarn.

After three days I stopped considering murder or suicide. After another day I knew I had to face Karen and talk about the divorce. The next day was Friday, I packed up, not knowing exactly what I was going to do, where I would spend that night. I locked up the cabin and headed back into town.

On the edge of town I stopped and called the house. The phone rang a number of times before I hung up. I drove to work and walked into my boss' office. He looked up and got this strange look on his face. Then it dawned on me I hadn't bathed or shaved or anything for days. He got up and closed the door. He told me to sit down as he opened his liquor cabinet and poured us both a shot. Handing me one he downed the other. I copied his action and then he said, "What the hell is going on? You call saying you have a major problem and need time off. Then Karen calls in a panic wanting to know where you are. She has called every morning to see if I knew anything or had heard anything. She sounds like you look."

I just stared at him. Then I said in a flat voice. "I caught her fucking my old friend... some friend."

"Is his name Pete?"

"Yeah, why?"

"He has called too. You probably have both of them on your voice mail. I transferred them there after I told them I didn't know where the hell you were."

There was a long pause and then he said, "Man I am sorry. Do you know what you are going to do yet?"

"Divorce, quit my job, go somewhere else and try to start over."

"Listen Dave, don't give it all up yet. Have you talked with Karen since then?"

"No. I know I have to. I called the house but didn't get an answer. Not even the answering machine."

"Go home, get a shower and a shave and a change of clothes. You look like shit my friend. Then when she gets home talk about it. Talk and talk and talk. Believe me it helps. Ask all those nasty questions that are floating around in your mind. Then sleep on it before you make any decisions."

"You sound like you've been there."

"Yeah, I caught my first wife in bed with the neighbor, three times before I gave up on her."

I went into my office and hit the button for voice mail replay. The first three were Karen, all of them the day after I left. "David, where are you? Please come home. I waited all night for you. We have to talk through this. I love you David... only you." then "David, please please call... come home. We can work through this. I need you baby." and the third "David please..."

The next one was from Pete, "I don't know what to say Dave, Karen won't even talk to me. She told me to get out and she looked like she had been hit by a truck. I guess I knew what had happened. I don't know what to say man... I went too far. It was just fun man. She loves you. I'm sorry but that sounds so lame. You know how to reach me if you want to fuck me over. I deserve it."

Each days messages were much the same. Pete stopped after the second day. Karen's voice got weaker and weaker but the message was the same.

I called her office, I didn't want to talk to her, I just wanted to know if she was at work. The switchboard said, "One moment she will be right with you." and I hung up.

The house was empty, Karen wouldn't be home for a couple of hours yet if she were true to form. I was shocked when I looked into the mirror and saw my red-rimmed eyes, the shaggy growth of hair on my ugly face. My boss was right about that, I looked like shit. I peeled out of the grungy clothes and turned the shower as hot as I could stand it. It hurt good as the old line goes. I soaked in there until the hot water ran out.

Toweling dry I wondered what Karen had been doing. Then I tortured myself as I wondered if Pete had been by again?

I turned to busy myself shaving, to drive those killing thoughts out of my head. But nothing worked. As I shaved I couldn't stop the rerun of the film in my head of the two of them on the bed.

Done in the bathroom, my teeth even felt better. I found my old jeans, a sweat shirt and some moccasins in the bedroom. I looked in the mirror and I still looked like shit but at least I wouldn't scare little kids.

The bedroom was a mess, the bed unmade, clothes piled in the corner, empty glasses on the bedside table. Several days worth. I smelled one and it reeked of old whiskey. Karen hated the taste of whiskey. Was it for Pete? No he was a beer man, besides Karen wouldn't invite anyone into this pig sty. She may be a slut but she was a neat slut. So she had been drinking.

I found a beer in the fridge and opened it and sat down at the kitchen table and waited. As I waited I expected Karen to come through the door as usual in about another half hour. If things were as before she would be well dressed, looking expensive, beautiful and sexy. She liked to look her best at work, which was damn good, like an expensive call girl.

I sat there and remembered the old days. This time I remembered how we had met, dated, and how happy we had been up to that time just a few days ago. I got lost in those thoughts to be interrupted as the door opened and Karen walked into the front room. I could hear her but I couldn't see her yet. I heard her steps coming toward the kitchen. I stood up, I have no idea why, and then she was there, looking at me as if I might be a mirage.

"David?" her voice was full of questions, fear, anxiety.

"Karen." mine was flat, dead, just like I felt.

She looked only a little better than I did. Of course she had a lot more to work with. In a word she looked tired and unkempt. Not like her. She sagged visibly as we each held our place in this strange stand-off. Neither having any idea of what to say.

"I love you David... I'm so sorry... please believe that." she finally said.

I guess I believed her. I couldn't seem to create any words. My thoughts flew but nothing came out of my mouth.

"We have to talk David, we have to..."

I nodded and sat down, I stared at the beer that I hadn't touched.

"It was so stupid of me. worse even... so stupid... It started in college as a lark,... before I knew I loved you... then it seemed like I couldn't stop. It was almost like an addiction. No I don't mean that. That's a cop out. It was just so good. Then you and I had sex and it was great too. In some ways so much better. With you I made love. You were caring, tender and a wonderful lover. Pete was an asshole who fucked the shit out of me and the rest of his harem. There were so many of us. None of us wanted him except to fuck. But it wasn't worth this. Nothing is..."

I stared into her eyes and saw something. Something I had never seen in her eyes before. The light was gone and I saw only pain. The package outside was still pretty spectacular even if uncared for lately. But her eyes were dead.

I looked out the window and she sighed heavily. After a moment she said, "I need a shower. If you will stay I will fix us a sandwich and coffee."

"OK." I replied flatly.

She reached over to touch my face and I reflexively pulled back. She looked into my eyes, hers filled with tears. After a brief moment she turned and walked toward the stairs. I watched her hips as they swung so enticingly and I yearned for her. God I loved her so much. Why had this happened? I tried to think of something I had done to cause this to happen, I sure hadn't been perfect by a long shot but I couldn't think of anything I had done that warranted her betrayal. OK so it had started before we were a committed thing. I could deal with that, neither of us were virgins when we met but why did it continue, why had she fucked him again after all this time and in our house? Her words came back to me, "It was just so good."

How could she if she loved me? I had turned down opportunities to cheat on Karen. It was tempting I recalled. Damned tempting but I didn't give in, why did she?

I heard a noise and looked up. Karen walked in the room in jeans and a sweat shirt that was the same as mine. We liked to be a pair and frequently dressed like it. She moved to the refrigerator and started pulling stuff out to make the sandwiches. I got up and said,, "I'll make the coffee."

She looked at me with a weak smile and said, "OK."

We worked silently for a moment and I blurted out, "Jesus Karen, why did you do it? Wasn't I enough?"

She looked at me and I'm sure she saw the pain in my face. Dropping the knife she ran from the room crying. I stood there like a statue for a moment. The emotions caused from losing your one love, from being replaced, being betrayed washed over me. I wanted to use that knife on myself... but I didn't have the guts.

After a moment Karen returned. Her face freshly washed, her eyes red, and she continued with the sandwiches. The coffee was done and I poured us both a big mug. I fixed them both the way I knew to, hers with a little sugar and just a dash of cream, mine just a little sugar.

I carried them to the table and sat them down where we normally had sat. Karen put the two plates at "our" places and we sat down. She sipped her coffee and smiled weakly at me saying, "Perfect, thank you."

I just nodded. We sat there staring at the food and then she said not looking at me, still staring at the plate, "It wasn't that you weren't enough, sex with you was wonderful. It was always so good and I was always satisfied. You were so... caring. You treated me like a rare jewel and I loved it. The first night we had sex ended it with Pete until now. I didn't need him after I had you. I don't want to hurt you David, I never wanted to hurt you. In spite of what I've done I love you more than anything in this world, and only you. But you have every right to know the truth. It was nothing you did or didn't do... well maybe it was something you didn't do. But the fault is mine."

She looked at me and I knew I had the question on my face. She continued, "Pete, as I said earlier, Pete fucked me. You made love to me. Pete only wanted my pussy. You wanted all of me and I wanted all of you. Pete is an asshole with a cock. A very talented cock... it was just crude, uncaring sex. I'm sorry David but I loved the way he fucked me so hard, uncaring, like some slut. I enjoyed being nasty and God forgive me, I loved sneaking around cheating on you. I guess I'm sick, I don't know... but that is the truth. Then the other night, the booze and I started remembering. I won't lie and try to tell you I went down to talk and he seduced me. When I got out of our bed I knew I was going to fuck him. I'm so sorry. I would give my life if I could undo it but it is all out now. I certainly understand if you want a divorce. I can't blame you. I won't contest anything."

I was watching her cry as if she were broken hearted. I accepted everything she said without question. Now what was I going to do? I started to speak as she looked at me through her tears, "I haven't decided about divorce. I've thought about suicide, about murder... of you and Pete, I've thought about leaving the country. I tried to quit my job but my boss wouldn't accept it. Said to wait until I got a little more stable. I told him what happened. That I caught my wife fucking the guy I thought was my best friend."