Chapter 91

When she got home, Laura looked at the scratches on her back, using a hand mirror and her full-length mirror in her closet. There were three ragged scabs on one shoulder, and two on the other, above her shoulderblades. None were very deep, but they couldn't be hidden. She caught herself remembering Camille's face, locked in an excruciating seizure of coming, her nails gashing Laura's back as she came helplessly and violently.

Oh god, if Sholandra sees these, we're finished, she realized. It was four days now since they had collided in a wild orgy of fucking in Laura's bed, and she knew Sholandra would be showing up any time. But before she could worry about it any more, she received a call from her boss, sending her urgently to Dallas, to deal with a business emergency.

Dallas! Laura thought, while hurriedly packing. Oh god, Dallas. Jonelle.

From that moment on, she could think of nothing else. It had been almost a year since the brief hour they had spent together in Laura's bed, when Jonelle had come out to help her sister. They had not spoken on the phone, or written. Laura knew why.

The pain for both was too great. Jonelle knew Laura would never completely give up her other girls. Laura knew that Jonelle couldn't bear the jealous pain caused by her affairs. She also knew that Jonelle, no matter how much she wanted to fuck with Laura, or how hot and passionate she could be when they were together, was essentially ashamed of herself for feeling that way. Her escape to Dallas after seeing Laura with Yvette had been an easy way to deal with that.

But Laura also knew the depth of their feeling, and the solemn, deep seriousness of their fucking, a kind of profound emotion she had felt seldom with others, even those she cared most deeply about. She was in Dallas two days working before she could even think of Jonelle, and yet in the background she was thinking of her constantly.

How could I be in the same city with her and not think of her? she thought. At night in her hotel room, exhausted from the day's work, she would dream of Jonelle, and waken to find her body throbbing with sexual and emotional need.

Finally, the work was finished. And now that she could call, she was afraid to. What if she won't see me? she wondered. She never called me, after her visit to San Francisco. And we had such wonderful fucking that time. What if she has some other girlfriend, or boyfriend, and she's forgotten me completely?

Usually Laura wasn't so shy, but she felt that so much of her feelings were at stake in Jonelle. But I didn't call her either, she reminded herself. Afraid of rejection, just like now.

And so, she gritted her teeth and picked up the phone. It was about six-thirty in the evening, time for her to have got home from work. And Jonelle did answer the phone.

"Jonelle?" Laura said, maybe too brightly, so relieved to hear her voice.

But Jonelle said nothing for a painfully long time.

"Jonelle... it's Laura."

"Oh... Laura," Jonelle said, awkwardly.

"God, I'm in Dallas and I couldn't wait to call you and I miss you so much, you sound so great," Laura babbled on, very nervous.

"Laura, I..."

"Is something wrong? Maybe I shouldn't be calling right now? Is Eric okay?"

"He's fine."

"Oh god... something else, then."

"Laura... I... I'm married," Jonelle said softly.

Laura felt all the air go out of her body at once. It felt like an arrow had been driven through her throat. She could barely speak.

"You're... married." She whispered the last word softly, in disbelief.

It was the only thing she hadn't considered, though it made perfect sense.

"Yes."

"Oh god."

"Don't be upset. Laura?"

"Yes... I'm sorry. Oh Jonelle... please forgive me for calling. I won't call again."

She was about to hang up, her face flushed with shame, her pulse raging wildly, pain flaring in the pit of her stomach. If she had ever loved anyone, it was Rina, then Jonelle.

"Laura, don't hang up," Jonelle said quickly. "Please don't."

Laura only now realized that her own cheeks were slick with tears. "I think I should," she said quietly.

"No... don't. Where are you."

"Oh... same hotel." She smiled wanly. "Remember that one?"

"I could never forget it," Jonelle said, very softly, seriously. "How long you going to be there?"

"Oh... leaving in the morning."

"What room?"

"Eight seventeen."

"If I'm not there in a half hour, I'll call you," Jonelle whispered, now clearly conspiratorial.

Laura hung up and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She tried not to think. Why shouldn't she get married? she thought. She's so beautiful. How could she keep the men away from her? And she isn't really a lesbian. She might want me now and then, but she doesn't want to sleep with any other girls. At least I don't think so. And she wants a full-time father for Eric. Why not?

Numb with shock, she sat by the window, looking down at the drab Dallas streets. She had completely forgotten the time when there was a knock. Always wary in a hotel, she peeped through the hole in the door and saw Jonelle. Instantly, her pulse shot up, enough to make her feel she might faint.

But she took two quick breaths and opened the chain, letting Jonelle in.

"Oh god, it's you," she said.

"Are you okay, Laura?" Jonelle asked, as she stepped inside.

Embarrassed, Laura exerted every effort to get control of herself. "Yes. I'm fine."

Jonelle smiled nervously as Laura shut the door. Laura found herself quickly recalling the way Jonelle had reminded her to lock it when they had met this way, in this same hotel, about a year ago. This time Jonelle said nothing like that.

"You know, Laura, I always sort of relied on you to be the strong one," she said. "You were like a rock to me. And now... well, you look sort of like a wreck. Know what I mean?"

"Do I really?"

"You've been working too hard."

"I know."

"From a rock to a wreck."

They both giggled. Laura wanted to kiss her in the worst way. She looked inexpressibly gorgeous, wearing a short skirt and a high collar, covering up her exquisite swan's neck.

Jonelle could see the longing in Laura's eyes. In Jonelle's Laura could only detect total ambiguity, maybe some confusion. Jonelle put her purse on the bed. The moment was crushingly awkward. Neither knew what to do, or what to expect.

"Laura... you have to understand," Jonelle began, her eyes suddenly shiny with tears.

"I do, I do," Laura said softly. She could feel her own eyes brimming. "I think I'm going to die if I can't kiss you," she murmured, half-choking on her tears.

"Me too," Jonelle said.

They embraced and kissed, at first sweetly, then ravenously. Laura kissed the tears on Jonelle's cheeks, kissed her eyes, then her neck, her ears, her hair. Jonelle kissed back, with growing passion.

But Laura made no move to undress her. It was like being back at the beginning, not knowing how far to go. Jonelle was the one who broke the ice.

"Is it adultery if I go to bed with you?" she asked, blinking away her tears.

"Probably," Laura said. "Do you want to?"

"Yes. Oh yes. I dream of you, Laura. I remember us together, and I..."

"Yes?"

"I came once. Actually, more than once. I came about four times, thinking of you."

Laura kissed her again, this time a little more aggressively. "Can you stay?" she whispered. "Do you want to stay?"

"You have to understand, Laura."

"I do understand. Do you want to leave?"

Now Jonelle was crying harder, harder than Laura had ever seen her cry. At the same time, she began to undress, unfastening two buttons at the top of her blouse. Laura pulled her down on the bed, not letting her continue. Jonelle's blouse was half-unbuttoned. Laura kissed her throat, infinitely tender.

"You don't have to do anything for me," she murmured. "You've already done everything. I love you, Jonelle."

"I hoped I'd never see you again," Jonelle sobbed softly.

They kissed and tasted their salty tears intermingling. They did not hurry, and it was a long time before they slowly and patiently began to undress each other. Jonelle was no longer confused, or reluctant.

"Don't say anythng," she whispered, several times, reminding Laura of the night she had suddenly, unexpectedly, totally naked, slipped into Laura's bed. "Don't say anything."

"Nothing," Laura whispered.

She gazed at Jonelle's beautiful face as Jonelle unclasped the clasp between the cups of Laura's bra. She peeled the cups slowly away, then replaced them with her hands. Her mouth met Laura's again. Her hands squeezed Laura's naked breasts.

Now Laura removed the rest of Jonelle's blouse. Jonelle wore a thin white bra that fastened in the back. Laura embraced her and kissed her neck and shoulders while she undid the clasp. Jonelle's breasts were small, but no longer the mere swellings they had been when she and Laura had first been together. They were bigger now, and her thick round nipples were as big as ever, bulging tasty plums that Laura dropped her lips to and devoured.

"Oh!" Jonelle gasped softly, quivering. "Oh... Laura."

Laura said nothing but devoured Jonelle's other nipple the same way, sucking and tonguing and pinching them both until Jonelle was twisting and panting.