Chapter 15

All the time I drove home I had everything going through my mind, the things with Peter and Shirley. Then thinking of John was in Korea and most likely he is screwing some Korean whore. Then thinking about the way I felt as I was in the video booth making love to all those strange men.

Thinking that; I corrected myself, that wasn't making love. It was just pure nasty animal sex and God forgive me I got off big time doing it. Thinking about it I guess what really shocked me so much was, how much I had climaxed. Plus that I did it with men that were not any better than John is or to my memory. Three maybe four of them were the same size as John and one was even smaller.

It hit me; it was much more than just a physical thing. It was much more mental. I could not get over just how much I got off in such a short period of time. It sure wasn't like having sex with my husband. I can't count the times he would get off and I would have to wait for him to fall asleep before I could bring myself off and even then thinking of Jimmy fucking me. Yet today not one time did I have to resort to thinking of my old boyfriend Jimmy

I pulled into my driveway, grabbed the bag with my new toys and walked to my door and saw that the mail had arrived; I grabbed it and went inside our quarters. I went straight to the bathroom.

I sat the bag on the floor and the mail I laid on the toilet cover next to the tub. I started the bath getting the temperature just right. Tossing in a hand full of bath beads and another of bath oils I was ready to get out of my aromatic clothes.

The crotch of my shorts were actually stuck to me. I knew that since I had not wiped myself, I had to have a lot of stuff still coming out of me, all that sperm mixed with my own juices had cause the crotch to grab hold with the crusted dried stuff.

I stood in the bathroom undid my shorts and what I mess I had between my legs. I looked in the crotch and just like I thought it was wet and crusted. I pulled off my blouse and unhooked my bra, stepping into the tub with the running water I wanted to just lay there and soak. I had a lot to think about.

Lying there soaking gives you nothing to do but think. I already do that all the time, but in the tub, it is a much more relaxing time to think. I was just thinking if I had a choice to lay on my bed, or lay in my nice warm tub with bath beads and oils, the bath wins hands down.

In both places I can close my eyes and go off to any distant place I desire, I guess it is the atmosphere that makes the bath so appealing. I have this little thing I do in the tub so the water will stay nice and warm. I have one of those European hand held shower-headsshowerheads attached to the faucet. So once it is full I lay the end of the hose next to me with the hot water running ever so slow. That way I can lay there for more than an hour if I want.

Enough about the bath, while as lovely as it is or was, it is not the reason I am writing this. However lying there like that with my eyes closed I kept going over in my mind what had happened these last two days.

For months I have just put up with life, staying in my home going out just for the necessities of life. Masturbating to my sexual fantasies waiting for my loving husband to return from his important mission overseas. Desiring much more; but putting up with the existence that had I put myself into by marrying a man in the military.

Finding out today that sex can be much more than just a physical thing. I was so amazed that I got off with men the same size as my husband, (and one even smaller) yet I did. I was also amazed as to how I managed to go down there today and be in such a place as I was.

Then the man offering me a job, shit, the money I made so easy and so quick. It is all so amazing. I remembered the mail I saw a letter from John, two maybe three months ago I would have torn into it. Now when I see I have a letter from him I can almost tell you what they say before reading it. It is always the same, the job, the weather, and the men under him. His boss and last but not least he always manages to get in a few words of how he misses me. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.

I sat up, grabbed hold of the towel above me, dried my hands and opened the letter. Yep, there it was blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I saw the postscript. PS. "When I get home I expect to find you just the way I left you F.F."

Looking at that I had to ask myself why the initials? "Why not just say it?" Why the mind game. Was it really "Freshly Fucked" like Peter said or was it what I had been thinking all along, "Feeling Fine?" Was it something that he could not say to me? Maybe he does mean, "Feeling Fine" and he doesn't know other people see "Freshly Fucked." What did he mean?

He never writes about sex anymore. He never talks about it the few times he calls me anymore. When he calls it is always short and he has me send him something. Like the time he needed me to send him two-dozen condoms for the men's rifles. When he asked me to get them for him he told me they went over the end of the barrel so dirt would stay out. That it was a trick the army learned in Viet Nam.

Rifles my ass! I realized that my husband had me send him two-dozen condoms and I have been doing it for three months. He was fucking some Korean whore over there and I was giving him permission by supplying him with the condoms. How fucking dumb am I?

Well now there are two of us in the world that know just how bad a lover John is. I hope she is unhappy, as I am when he fucks her. The son-of-a-bitch can stay another year over there for all I care. He can also buy his own fucking condoms. The Exchange has them there. He tells me he gets down to the one in a place he calls TDC they must have them there. I bet he doesn't want anyone seeing him buy condoms because then they would know he is out fucking around on his wife.

Yet it is okay for his wife to go into the exchange and buy two-dozen condoms every month. No one knows that I mailed them to my husband for his men's rifles. Wait a minute he said they carry pistols at the site there. Why would they need the condoms for the rifles that are inside locked up? John told me they use them for emergency! Wouldn't the Army there have covers for them? Shit what would people think if they knew what I have been doing? A wife mailing out condoms to her husband overseas, what does that say about me? It says I'm stupid. It says I am not only giving my husband permission to go out and screw around with other women, but that I am giving him the means to do it. Sort of giving my blessing isn't it. Using what John said about going into the exchange and buying them there. I guess he doesn't care when they see me in the exchange here buying condoms month after month. How fucking sick is that? He can't for fear of what others might think; yet I can?

Thinking of this was just pissing me off the more I thought of it. How could I have been so fucking dumb? I don't need him; he is not man enough to make me sexually happy. He doesn't care how I feel about things. He thinks he is being cute with his fucking FF crap. Giving me permission, I don't need his fucking permission; if I want to go out and get fucked I will do just that. Fuck him! Maybe if I'm lucky some jealous man over there will catch him and cut his fucking dick off. No matter what I did I could not calm down; with the realization about John, I wanted to get back at him.

Getting out of the tub, I began to dry my hair. With my long red hair it always takes a long time to dry. Working it with my brush and dryer I then began to concentrate on my afternoon. As I stood there in front of the mirror and even though I saw myself I also could see what I did back at that sex place.

I could see myself sitting there leaning forward sucking those men's dicks, I swear I could feel them in my mouth again. I could feel them throbbing and giving me the sperm I wanted to get from them. I stood there picturing myself as I stood in that tiny room pushing back with my ass against the side wall as the different men fucked me, giving me cock, giving me what I have longed for. Over eight months I have longed for a feeling like I had there.

I say that even though John was with me, but with him I just did not have the feelings that I had today. Then the times I was bent over sucking a man's dick while another was pounding into me through the hole in the wall. I remember the force that they did it. The wall shook hard as they slammed into me.

"God the feeling that I got from fucking like that, was having an effect on me, even as I stood there drying my hair") I mean I was beginning to want to do it again. I wondered what would happen if I got dressed and went back down there.

It was maybe three or four something. I do not have a clock in the bathroom so I could only guess. I also wondered that since this is a Military town, how many of those men that I had sex with today were from this base.

Were any of them other officers? Were they enlisted men? Could any of them been older? Maybe real old like in their late thirties or maybe even their early forties. I remember seeing a couple older men in there that could have been maybe in their fifties. Could one of those men been that old? Fuck, that is what my Father's age is!

Standing there I was wondering if I do go back down there if I should wear my hair down or put it up in pony tails again. I know how young it makes me look, maybe if I put on my red leather skirt (provided I can still get into it.)

If it did still fit me I would be showing a lot of leg. Being tall, my legs are one of my great assets. Jimmy really loved it when I wore it and stockings. He said that whenever I wore the garter belt and stockings that it really turned him on.

It has been so long since I dressed like that. In fact the last time I wore them was my wedding day. The big difference was my wedding dress covered everything so the only time anyone saw my legs was the garter toss. John told me he liked it. (The stockings and garter belt.)

Going through my drawer I found a brand new pair still in the package. I remembered that they were the last of the three pair I had for my wedding day. As I opened the package and checked them I could not help but wish I had one of those crotch-less panties that I found in Shirley's panty drawer.

I never even knew that such a thing existed, now that I know I wonder how they would feel? I have always liked to tease men and I have been known to flash my boyfriends at times. If I'm going out to get laid, I wonder what I would look like flashing a guy wearing those kinds of panties.

I wonder where she buys them? I don't know if I can just ask her. I am not sure I want her to know I am even thinking of doing what I am about to do. I decided to pick out a cute blouse. I pictured in my mind dressing like a country girl I have the perfect white blouse that when tied shows off my 34 C-cup breast.

Maybe if I really decide to get bold, I will forgo my bra. I have seldom gone without a bra outside my house. I guess I just have never felt that bold, but now; today knowing that my loving husband is fucking his brains out over seas and is telling me to go out and get laid has done something to me.

I guess I just flipped out. That son-of-a-bitch wants me to go out and have sex; I'm going to have as much fucking sex as I can. I can't wait to tell that bastard just how much fun I am having. I'll give him a freshly fucked pussy when he gets home, I'll give him a pussy that is full of other men's sperm, lots and lots of sperm from lots and lots of men.

I took off my towel and slipped on my light gray sweatshirt and stepped into the matching pants. I was just running next-door for a moment; I did not see the need to put my bra and panties on. I decided to take a chance and go ask Shirley where I could pick up a pair of those open crotch-less panties. I had not figured out how I was going to ask her with out letting her know I went through her drawers.

As I opened my front door I watched as a young butter bar (2nd Lt.) was walking out of my neighbors front door. We said Hello to each other and Shirley who was standing inside smiled, "Hi neighbor, am I making too much noise? Come on in."

I opened the screen and walked in. Shirley was in a light robe that was hanging open, she was naked under it. It was then that I saw she had no hair on her mound. She turned and asked, "Want a drink? I'm having some scotch."

"That sounds good. I just wanted to ask you something." I responded nervously

Shirley stood at her kitchen counter pouring us both a drink, "Sure dear, shot."

I took a breath, "The other night while I was babysitting I noticed while using your bathroom that you have some of those crotch-less panties. I was ah, wondering where does a girl go to buy them?"

Shirley returned and as she handed me my glass of scotch grinned like a cat, "You were there today honey."

I looked at her blushing as she laughed, "I saw you carry the bag inside. I guess you have my change right?"

I took a gulp of my drink and almost choked. I coughed and finely managed to say, "I ah, yea, I do, so they sell those panties there also?"

Shirley sat down on a dinning room chair across from me crossing her legs and that allowed her robe to fall even more open. "Tell me the outfit you plan to wear."

I looked at her, gulping another drink before responding, "I ah, well I'm thinking of wearing a red leather skirt and white blouse."