Chapter 3

March 1985: New Orleans

Spring break at last.

My friends and I decided to avoid the crowds in Florida and do some serious partying in the Big Easy. It wasn't a hard decision given that we spent the two previous breaks in Daytona Beach and had enough of the crazy scene there. Some of my friends preferred older men to the usual selection of immature college guys and I can't say I blamed them.

As for me, I had dated some men on and off, but I never made any commitments. I was just along for the ride.

But I also had another agenda.

When I found out that we were going to New Orleans, I decided to make amends between Robert and me. He was still at Tulane and it would be easy to arrange something. I felt bad about the last time I saw him. The next few holidays and gatherings, he never showed up with his family. His mother always said he was busy with friends and I didn't press the issue.

I guess I wasn't mad at him - I thought some time between us might dim the memory of that night. And, in fact, it did somewhat. I didn't think about that night as much as I used to and with the sex I was having, I was definitely satisfied. So, by that spring, I was ready to put it behind us.

I got his number from my mother and must have picked up the phone a hundred times before I actually dialed the number.

He seemed genuinely surprised by my call, but his voice didn't harbor any resentment. I was very relieved at that. I didn't try to apologize for anything and just told him I was going to be in New Orleans and could I go visit him? He thought it would be a great idea. His break wasn't the same week as mine and he would be studying for midterms, but he would meet me for dinner in the French Quarter.

As I hung up the phone, I let out a sigh of relief. I really did want us to be friends again like we always were and this seemed like a step in the right direction.

Finally the night came. My friends went off on their adventures and I strolled the streets of the French Quarter to find the restaurant in which we were to meet. It was a beautiful night - the warm air caressed my bare skin as I walked. I could hear the strains of jazz hanging in the humid air and could smell the wonderful smells of French cooking.

For the occasion, I dressed simply. I wore a white skirt, white pumps and a pink, short-sleeved blouse. My hair was curled and was the longest I've ever had it. I applied some lip gloss one last time and walked into the restaurant.

Robert picked one of the best restaurants in the city, but I didn't expect anything less than that since he lived there. I let the maitre-d know whom I was and he led me over to table where Robert was waiting.

His face lit up when he saw me and I smiled back at him.

"Beth! It's great to see you!" He gave me a quick hug and we sat down.

"You too," I said. I couldn't help noticing how great he looked. I realized he had 'grown up' a little since the last time we saw each other.

"How's your break going?" he asked.

"Oh, it's been fun! Me and the girls have been out drinking every night," I laughed. "I can't imagine how you've been able to survive living here."

"It gets old after a while, believe me," he chuckled. "But we do come into the city every once in a while and let loose."

We ordered drinks and continued to catch up on things. Neither of us mentioned 'that night' or Christmas Eve. Instead it was like old times where we were just cousins hanging out.

"So are you dating anyone?" he asked after we ate.

I stiffened slightly, not wanting to go in that direction, but it was a fair question.

"Um, not really. Just seeing someone now and then," I said vaguely.

He nodded.

"What about you? Still with Mary?"

"Marie."

"Right, sorry."

"No, we broke up last year. I don't have time for any relationships. School is pretty demanding."

"Yeah, I understand."

He let down his façade for just a minute and I saw something there that I was hoping I wouldn't see and that was lust. I quickly looked away and excused myself to visit the bathroom.

When I got back, he had paid the bill and was ready to go. I thanked him for dinner.

"Now, let's have some real fun, you up for it?" he asked with a mischievous look in his eye.

I looked at him suspiciously.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Come on, I'll show you."

And with that we stepped out into the night.

About an hour later, my head was full of coke and I was flying. Tucked into a back alley somewhere, Robert had found a dance club and we went inside to find it packed with people dancing the night away. He gave me a small packet of coke and I slipped in and out of the ladies room to snort it. In no time, my body was tingling from the rush. Robert and I got out onto the floor and danced to Prince.

My drinking was pacing the coke intake, but I didn't feel it. I was going wild with the music and the lights. I looked at Robert and he was feeling the same way. I could see the sweat glistening on his face as we moved with the rest of crowd. A couple of times I let myself look at his body straining against his thin, tight shirt. The coke was fueling my lust and I wondered how long I would be able to ignore that.

With Prince's sexy voice all around me, it was hard to resist that lust. I was surrounded by men and women who were probably just as fucked up as I was. Everyone was a potential conquest, I thought. We were all here to be seen and hopefully picked out for a more intimate encounter in a hotel room or a back seat. I danced with the crowd and wondered what the night held for me, but when I looked at Robert, I began to get an idea of what it would be.

When I started coming down off the coke, I asked him if he had any more. He nodded and followed me off the dance floor. He grabbed my hand and slipped a packet inside of it. I smiled at him and started to make my way to the bathrooms. When I got to the door, I felt him right behind me.

"I'll be right out," I said, somewhat puzzled.

"I know, but I'm coming in with you. It's the last of the coke and I want to share."

"What???"

"Come on, it'll be fine. This kinda club - anything goes."

I gave him a dubious look, but I realized he was coming in, regardless. We slipped inside and no one gave us a second glance. Everyone was too busy either doing coke themselves or primping. We slipped into a stall and I was suddenly aware of how dangerous this situation could be.

"Uh, you sure this ok?" I asked.

"Sure," he grinned.

We were standing close together and I fumbled to get my mirror out of my purse.

"I'll take that," he said and I watched as he emptied the coke onto the glass and began to chop it up with a credit card. Soon the lure of the coke took over and that was all I could think of.

I got the short straw I had in my purse and preceded to snort while he held the mirror. I groaned as the addicting rush hit my system.

"Good, huh?" he asked.

"Hell yes."

He laughed and I held the mirror for him as he did the same. We passed the mirror back and forth a few times, doing it all. We were oblivious of everything around us. When we finished I licked the mirror and put it away. I was flying so high, I couldn't think.

We didn't say anything for a minute as we were each dealing with the incredible high we were on. It was me that finally came to my senses.

"We should get out of here, I'm feeling claustrophobic," I said in a shaky voice.

"No," he said, his voice breaking.

I looked at his face. It was flushed red and he was sweating. He had that look again and I realized I was helpless to do anything about it now. He was blocking my exit out of the stall.

"Beth, I... oh fuck," he said and then his mouth was on me.

I found I couldn't resist. There was no way I could deny my feelings for him. My arms went around him at the same time his did and we kissed hard. His mouth was so hungry when it sought mine and I was just as hungry for it. My mouth opened and I sucked his tongue inside. He groaned when I did this and his hands gripped my arms tightly. I pushed my pelvis towards him and felt his hardness pressing through his pants.