Chapter 15

As the season moved on to late summer, two unexpected visitors arrived to make (or mark) dramatic changes in my life. I'll talk about the second one in due course. The first one came on a Saturday afternoon, while Richard and I were lying lazily in bed. We'd made love a while before, slowly and peacefully (aside from the climax, which was as shattering as ever) and were now just lying together, enjoying the closeness. I was reading -- not "The Faerie Queene" this time, but something suitably mindless and post-coital -- and Richard was staring at the ceiling, stroking my arm and shoulder and probably thinking about some problem from work. I was starting to think about putting the book down and luring Richard into a double header, when the security buzzer went off in the living room.

We both sat up, but I was quicker in hopping out of bed, and I padded in to punch the button and say "Yes?"

There was a pause, and then an unfamiliar female voice spoke up uncertainly. "Umm... is Richard there?"

Richard had followed me into the living room. At the sound of her voice, his eyes widened, and he leaned forward to speak into the grating: "Caroline?"

"Hi, Richard! I was worried for a second there that you'd moved without telling me. Wouldn't I have felt silly then?"

"What are you doing here?" Richard asked.

"I'm visiting you! And I wanted it to be a surprise. Is this a bad time?"

Richard glanced at me. I shrugged. He said, "No, come on up," and buzzed her in.

"Is that your ex-girlfriend, Master?" I asked him, following him back into the bedroom.

"Yeah. Come from California with no warning." He picked up his shorts and jeans from the floor and stepped into them, then grabbed his shirt as a knock came to the door. "Get dressed, Susie," he told me, and closed the bedroom door behind him as he went back into the living room.

I hastily pulled my clothes on, listening through the bedroom door to the murmur of voices. A distinctively feminine squeal of "Richard!" and the low rumble of his reply. Indeterminate noises. Had she kissed him? Had he kissed her? Talking, too quiet to make out the words. I glanced at myself in the mirror. My hair was pointing in different directions, like a squirrel's nest made of thin copper wire. I tried to smooth it down with my fingers. If I took time to brush it, the delay might kill me with suspense. I gave it a last pat and opened the door.

They both looked at me as I entered the room. "Caroline," Richard said, "this is Susan. Susan, this is Caroline Knokes."

"Susan!" Caroline trilled -- no other word does justice to the sound of her voice. She threw her arms around me in an exuberant hug, startling me into freezing in place. "I'm so glad to meet you! I'm glad somebody's looking after this guy. He needs it."

"Um, hi," I said awkwardly. My mind was whirling. Caroline was gorgeous. Two inches shorter than me with a slim, willowy figure, she wore a flowered sun dress with a casual elegance that I could never have matched, revealing a pair of perfectly-tanned arms and shoulders. Her hair fell in golden waves about her shoulders, with almost white-blonde highlights. Her eyes were wide and crystal blue, and her face was delicate, with a straight nose and wide lips, which were presently quirked in a grin. She wore only the faintest trace of makeup -- eyeliner and a bit of lipstick -- which brought out her flawless complexion.

OK, I know hair of that color could only have come out of a bottle, but it was done so well; I couldn't have turned myself out like that if I'd tried with both hands for a month. My God, why had Richard let her go? Why hadn't he followed her out to California? Why hadn't he tied her up in the bedroom and made love to her until she agreed to stay?

"So why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?" Caroline asked Richard, looking at me with apparent approval. "And such a pretty one! It's about time, too. You work much too hard."

"You and I have hardly spoken in a year," he said easily. "Why didn't you tell me you were visiting?"

"That's just it," she said brightly. "I'm not visiting! I have a residency in the university hospital here. So I'll be moving back to town! Isn't that wonderful? We can see each other all the time. Or at least," she added, a little more down-to-earth, "those spare minutes when I'm not on duty or asleep."

I felt a sharp sensation about the midsection. See each other all the time. Lord help me.

Richard refused to be sidetracked from his original point. "Congratulations on your residency. But why didn't you tell me in advance?"

"Oh, well," Caroline waved a hand airily. "Details. Besides, you know how I like to make an entrance." She made a face and grinned at me, a broad, self-deprecating grin that invited me to grin back, and I thought Oh, please, God, don't let me like her!

It was useless. One would have to have a heart of stone to dislike Caroline. Certainly it was beyond my powers. She charmed me without even trying. Her friendliness, which was not in the least contrived; her enthusiasm; her genuine interest in the people she was talking to. She was smart, she was beautiful, she had a sense of humor and was quick to laugh at herself. Hopeless. Totally hopeless. After half an hour I was ready to join her fan club

Of course, if she'd had a fan club, she herself would have been President and principle member. But she'd also have been the first to admit it.

Caroline and Richard chatted about old times and mutual acquaintances, but she directed many of her comments and explanations to me, so that I didn't feel left out. She asked me questions about my major and my job and how I'd met Richard. When I mentioned tennis, she marveled at my athletic ability and exclaimed over my prowess until I felt obliged to point point out that, for all she knew, I was absolutely terrible.

"Anyone could see that you must be good," Caroline said, appealing to Richard. "Doesn't she move like a born athlete?"

"Well, however she moves, I like it," Richard said. I flushed.

Caroline glanced at a small gold wristwatch, making even than simple gesture seem graceful. "I came by with the intention of inviting you out for dinner," she said. "Both of you, of course. My treat. I hope you're free?"

One part of me was dying to go, while another desperately tried to think of a way to get out of it. While the two parts were fighting it out, Richard accepted for both of us. I excused myself to go brush my hair and change into something less casual ("But you look terrific now!" Caroline assured me), trying to reassure myself that a cozy dinner with Richard and his beautiful ex-girlfriend could be something other than a disaster. I wasn't buying it.

Caroline had an enormous sedan that screamed "rental car" parked in front of our building. She struck me as more of a sports car type. (Later I discovered that I was right -- her own car was a red Miata convertible.) I headed for the back door, as did Richard, so that we nearly collided with each other. So much for my natural athletic grace. I pointed out that his legs were considerably longer than mine and claimed the back seat, where I sat quietly and listened to the two of them talk.

She took us to a little Italian restaurant, not too far from the campus, but far enough not to be an easy walk. I'd never eaten there before, but I gathered that the two of them had. This impression was strongly confirmed when the maitre d' broke into a smile at our entrance and said "Miss Knokes! How good to see you! It's been too long."

"Hi, Carlo!" she said brightly, patting him on the arm. "It has been a long time. But I'm moving back to town!"

"Wonderful!" he said, beaming. He smiled at Richard, then vaguely in my direction as well. "Welcome back. Right this way! Best table in the house."

We were seated by the window, and I buried my nose in the menu while Caroline and Richard continued to chat, speaking only when Caroline tried to draw me out. I hadn't been particularly hungry before, but the air was filled with a delicious smell of tomato sauce, garlic, and sausage that made my stomach rumble. After a bit, Caroline leaned towards me to say "The spaghetti alla puttanesca is particularly good here -- at least, it used to be."

I had decided on that dish only a moment before, and resisted a nearly overpowering urge to change my mind. "Thanks!" I said instead. "I was just looking at that. I think I will have it."

Caroline smiled at me like I was a particularly bright child. I tried to frown, but instead found myself smiling back, and then felt ashamed of my petty resentment. It was hardly her fault that she had known Richard before me; or that she was so good-looking; or that I lacked the kind of poise that she displayed so effortlessly. I should be mature and gracious. More like her.

It was going to be a long meal.

A waiter showed up and took our orders. Caroline ordered a bottle of red wine to go with the meal; the waiter looked at me dubiously, as if wanting to ask for ID, but he wrote down the order and went away without comment. I picked up a breadstick and started nibbling on it.

"Don't fill up on those," Caroline advised. "The food here is really good, and they serve a lot of it."

I wondered what to say, but Richard replied for me.

"Leave her alone, Caro," he said tolerantly. "Just because you don't eat enough is no reason to discourage other people."

"I wasn't picking on her," Caroline said. "Was I, Susan?"

"No, of course not," I said. "But Richard has seen me eat. I mean, I've been eating his cooking all summer. I can eat. A lot. Or, a fair bit, anyway. And he knows that."

Great. Might as well call myself a glutton and be done with it. I kept nibbling.

"So Richard was your tutor," Caroline said. "That's great! How was he? I always thought he'd be a good teacher, but I never saw him in action."

"He was good," I said. "I didn't fail, anyway."

Richard looked slightly exasperated. "What she means, is she got an 'A.' But that was her doing, not mine. I just helped her find her feet."

"I knew where my feet were," I said. "My brain, on the other hand..."

"I just helped," he repeated.

"A lot," I said.

"Some," he said.

"He saved me from total confusion," I told Caroline.

Richard grinned. "About computer science, maybe."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and then was mortified at doing something so childish in front of Caroline.

"Sorry!" I said to Caroline. "I don't normally do that. With my tongue."

"She saves it for other things," Richard said. "One of her most versatile organs, in fact." I blushed.

"Watching you two is better than a show," Caroline said with amusement. I blushed harder, and picked up another breadstick.

Caroline and Richard went back to talking about old acquaintances, and I went back to listening, contributing occasional brief remarks when Caroline tried to draw me out. Thankfully, the food arrived quickly. It was every bit as good as Caroline had said, and every bit as plentiful, and I wished I hadn't eaten the second breadstick. I set to willingly, though, and the conversation lagged for a bit while we all concentrated on our dinners. When the edge was taken off of our hunger, the talk began again, but slower. Caroline seemed to sense that I didn't particularly want to say anything, and mostly stopped asking me questions, though she continued to address remarks to me as well. She could be very funny -- she had a satirical wit, which she exercised at the expense of the medical profession, while Richard and I listened and laughed. I was actually having a very good time, I discovered, somewhat to my surprise. The food and the wine helped to relax my nervousness, and Caroline was really very amusing.