Chapter 10

"Thanks for the lunch invitation," Arlene said. "This was a good idea. We should do it more often."

"Yeah," I said, pushing back my chair. It was a beautiful day, and we'd eaten outdoors at a cafe near the park. I fumbled some money out of my purse and dropped it onto the table, weighting it down with the salt shaker. "We've still got some time. Want to take a walk? There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure," Arlene said, also rising and adding her own contribution to mine under the shaker. "It's such a nice day. Let's go to the park."

I nodded my agreement. I had deliberately chosen this restaurant for its proximity to the park, in order to have a little more privacy. I was very nervous; I seriously considered chickening out without telling her. Still, I was even more reluctant to go back to Richard and admit that I hadn't told Arlene after all, when I had raised the possibility myself.

The park was just a little patch of green and trees in the middle of town, popular with college students as a place to picnic or hang out, but not very crowded during the summer. A playground at one end always swarmed with little kids, but the rest of it was almost deserted. Arlene and I crossed the street from the cafe and entered the park.

"So, how are you and Richard doing?" Arlene said as we began strolling along one of the shaded paths.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I said. "Richard and me."

"You're not having trouble, are you?" Arlene asked with sudden concern.

"No, no trouble," I said. Just say it.

"That's good!" Arlene said, sounding genuinely relieved. "The two of you seemed so great together."

"We are." I swallowed and plunged ahead. "It's just... there's something you don't know about us, and I wanted to tell you..."

"My God," Arlene said, stopping and grabbing my arm. "You're not engaged, are you?"

I laughed. "No, no, that's not it," I said.

"Whew!" Arlene said, and resumed walking. "I knew it was a whirlwind romance, but... you're not pregnant?!"

"Arlene!"

"OK, OK. I just can't figure out what could be so dramatic... he's already married?"

"No."

"He's secretly a woman?"

"No!"

"True, he'd be a strapping wench. He's taken a vow of chastity?"

"Arlene, please! I'm trying to tell you..."

Arlene smiled at me engagingly. "I know, I know. It's just, I'm keen to guess. You're his love slave?"

It was so unexpected that my heart lurched. I stopped dead. "Yes," I said.

"All right, you're... what did you just say?"

"Yes," I repeated. "I'm his... love slave. His slave."

Arlene halted too, and stared back at me. "Uh... as in, you're so crazy about him you'll do whatever he wants?" she suggested hopefully.

"No," I said. "As in, I'm his property, and willingly obey his every command, and can't imagine disobeying him in any way, and belong to him body, mind, and soul."

"Oh," Arlene said. "That kind of love slave."

"Yeah," I said. "That kind."

"Let's sit down," she said.

There was a bench nearby. We sat next to each other, not speaking for a couple of minutes. Now that I'd said it, I was both strangely relieved and still apprehensive. I had no idea what she thought. Did she think I was crazy? I might have, in her place. After a while Arlene broke the silence.

"Since when?" she asked me.

"Since that first night."

"Tell me about it," Arlene said simply.

So I told her. The first tutoring session; the dreams; the first time we'd made love; the revelation of his hypnotic suggestions; my decision to return to him. How the two of us had been adapting to life together.

When I finished, the silence resumed for a while. Arlene looked very troubled. I was troubled, myself. I might have just torpedoed the closest friendship I'd ever had, except for the one with Richard.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Arlene asked at last.

"I wanted to... you're the only one I wanted to tell. But I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" she asked, turning to look at me in surprise.

"Afraid... that you'd hate me," I admitted.

Arlene looked distressed. "Oh, sweetie, how could you ever think that? I could never hate you. Never." She shook her head. "I'm not so sure about Richard, though."

"He's good to me," I told her softly. "He's really, really good to me."

"He'd have to be an idiot not to be," Arlene said flatly, "though goodness knows there are plenty of them around. But is he good for you?"

I had no answer for that.

"I'm not sure I'd have blamed you if you did hate me," I said glumly. "I mean, Jeez! I'm a feminist nightmare!"

Arlene apparently found this hysterically funny; she went off into an extended fit of laughter until I thought she'd choke. "I wouldn't... exactly call you a poster child for family values, either," she said at last, wiping her eyes. "A feminist nightmare! Lord!" She quickly sobered. "It's the whole hypnosis thing that worries me. I mean, who knows what he's done to you... what he might still be doing to you?"

"You can't make anyone do anything under hypnosis that they don't want to do," I told her.

"So he says," she countered skeptically.

"It's the truth. I've studied it. Long before I met Richard."

Arlene appeared unconvinced. "You were never like... this... before he started messing around in your subconscious."

"Yes, I was," I said. "I just didn't tell anyone."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Why do you think all my previous boyfriends were jerks?"

Arlene seemed struck by this. "You mean, you deliberately picked guys who would treat you badly?"

"No," I said. "I don't want to be treated badly. I want to be dominated. Unfortunately, men who are into dominating women tend to be total assholes."