Chapter 3

The walk of several miles through the darkened streets away from the better part of town and towards the Red Lion public house was uneventful and, in the dim yellow light cast by the street lights, my appearance apparently went unnoticed by the few people we passed. As the trip continued, I grew in confidence and my ability to walk with a female-like gait in the high heels increased. The Red Lion was not exactly known for its sophisticated clientele and wide selection of fine wines; it was, in fact, a typical working man's boozer on a street corner of a Council Estate. By the time we got there, this being a Saturday night, it was standing room only. The lights from an overly loud disco were defused by the smoke filled atmosphere while the customers tossed drinks down their throats as fast as they could. Looking around, I could see that men outnumbered the women by at least ten to one... and that several of those men we already giving Mistress Angel and myself a good looking over.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Mistress?" I shouted into my companion's ear.

She nodded. "Sure is," she yelled back, "If you want to survive as a woman, this is the sort of place to learn."

"But I don't want to be a woman - I'm very happy being a man!" I called out but too late for she was already moving towards the bar. Glancing at the men still eyeing me up, I hurried after her and stayed close by her until she got served. I then found Mistress Angel handing me a glass full of reddish fizzy liquid with ice cubes tinkling in it.

I looked at her quizzically. "Red Martini and Lemonade," she mouthed at me. Being a beer man myself who'd never touched anything so effeminate as martini, I suspiciously I took a small sip... it wasn't bad, slightly too sweet for my taste but stronger than I'd have imagined. To be honest, I'd still have preferred my usual pint of John Smith's Bitter but, dressed as I was, I guessed that was out.

For while, the pair of us stood there gazing about but then I had to put my drink down on a nearby table. "I need the loo!" I shouted in Mistress Angel's direction to which she replied with a dismissive flick of the hand. Taking this as permission to go, I looked around and finally spotted the toilet entrance on the other side of the room. With a lot of 'excuse me' calling and some nifty elbow work, I managed to make slow progress... only to have my bum felt at least twice. Slowly I was beginning to realise what a woman had to put up with and I didn't like it. Eventually my goal hove into reach and I was about to push the door open when a hand was firmly placed on my shoulder and a gruff, alcohol infused voice shouted, "Not in there, luv - your's is down there a bit!"

'Shit!' I suddenly thought to myself as realisation set in - I'd been about to enter the gents! What had I been thinking about? I smiled up at the bleary eyed man with the huge beer belly and muttered my thanks before heading off towards the ladies. For a good minute or two I paused outside wondering just what to do and trying to summon up the courage to enter; eventually the pressure on my bladder proved too great and I forced myself into this alien and unknown territory while trying to keep my eyes glued to the floor. I had to join a queue for there just weren't enough cubicles for the number of female customers in the pub... and the lines moved so slowly. 'Is it always like this?' I asked myself before answering, 'So now I know why my dates always take so long when they go to powder their noses!' Eventually a cubicle came free and I slipped gratefully in, locking the door behind me. After lifting my skirt and dropping the pantyhose and knickers, I sat down and did my business thinking that I didn't really understand half of what the women in the toilet were talking about as they chatted gaily away to each other on the opposite side of the door. After sorting myself out, I opened the door and stepped out almost bumping into a young girl wearing nothing but a sequined g-string who was carefully applying some make up to her nipples. This rather took me back... until I remembered the posters up the bar announcing the regular Saturday night strip show. I tried to tear my eyes away from the girl's almost naked and very attractive form... but it was difficult and my pecker was already showing signs of interest. Sudden realisation that this was so forced me to hurry out of the toilet/impromptu changing room - well, what would the women in there think seeing another female with the tent sprouting out of the middle of her dress? And what would happen to me if they discovered that I was a man deep in their territory?

I returned to where I'd left Mistress Angel only to find that she had now been joined by two rather large, muscular men to whom she was chatting freely. Just as I approached, the DJ announced that he was going to take a short break and that, after this interval, the strippers would be on. A loud cheers went up and the music faded away. The silence left that ringing in my ears that only a cessation of noise does. One of the men thrust a glass in my direction - another red martini, larger this time. "Jimmy, Andy," introduced Mistress Angel, "meet Jane. Jane - Jimmy and Andy. They're down from Glasgow, working on building that high speed railway to the Chunnel."

"Oh?" I said, trying to make my voice sound not too false as I did my best to adopt a woman's higher pitch. "That's nice."

"It means that they both have a lot of money rattling round in their pockets..." hinted my companion.

"Och aye lass... so we do." Jimmy said breathing whisky fumes all over me as he eyed me up and down and Andy slipped his arm round Mistress Angel's waist. Unfortunately Jim then followed suit and I found myself with the arm of a big, hairy Scotsman who must have weighed twice what I did wrapped around me. I gulped at my drink and emptied the glass. "Care for another, lassie?" asked Jimmy and I nodded my head. The third martini didn't last much longer than the second and a fourth followed. Oddly, my head was beginning to spin - 'I thought martini was only a strong wine, ' I mused as I sipped the drink and staggered just a little. Jimmy strengthened his grip and hauled me back up before bending down towards me, his lips puckered... and I pulled away as best I could. Luckily for me, the strip show started right at that point and the attention of all the men in the pub turned away from whatever they had been doing to the stage where the first dancer was already making her entrance.