Chapter 5

I was back selling tires and batteries at Sears. I signed up for a class on how to work for H&R Block during Tax Season. They liked my Math SAT score being over 700, and that I was enrolled in a college accounting program, so they put me on the list.

In my Accounting 101 class I thought I recognized a guy from Y-Camp. After class I intercepted him and asked, “Is your name Paul Turnipseed?”

“Ya, you are George Big Brain or something like that, right?” He said.

“Something like that,” I confirmed.

“Paul, you talked about your dad when we were out on a canoe trip nearly up to Hudson Bay. Are you in touch with your Native American heritage at all?” I asked.

“Yes. Dad’s gone, but I still know elders and I know enough to participate in ceremonies. Why, have you got a spirit problem?” He asked.

“What do you think, Paul?” I asked.

He looked at my eyes and he sniffed the air. “OH MY, your woman has the same spirit you do! That must get pretty wild!” Well, I’m Tatanka myself, so I can’t help you directly, but I can introduce you to people who can teach you. I have to say, I’m really surprised that you are Tanka spirit. You were always so quiet.”

“You know a wolf only howls when it won’t scare away prey. If a wolf is hunting, it’s quiet as can be.

“I think I was a Beta, but I fell in love with an Alpha Female when I was in seventh grade, and she let me know she could only be mine if I was an Alpha Male,” I said.

“Yeah, you need some help guy,” Paul said.

“I need to learn. I need to know the rules and how this stuff works. I need to know how to tell if our daughter is Tanka spirit too, and if she is, when and what do I teach her?” I said.

“OK, I’ll make some calls, and then we might need to go see some people. I imagine we need to take you in the sweat lodge and blow some sage smoke over you and find out exactly where you stand in the grand scheme of things before an elder will be willing to teach you. Then we’ll have to see where things go,” Paul said.

“Thanks Paul,” I said.

We shook hands, and I felt a strange vibration, almost like the ground was shaking. He grinned at me and said, “That’s the herd running over the prairie, letting you know that when we Tatanka are together, we don’t fear you, Tanka, and if you attack us alone, we will trample you under a thousand hooves.”

“Well let’s hope we can be friends in spite of you being herd and me being pack. My wife’s mom is Tanka, but her father is a mountain lion spirit. I guess the pack and the solitary don’t go together too well. I just never heard of crazy white people having animal spirits. I don’t think my parents have any symptoms,” I said.

“Write down all your questions and get the ones your wife and mother-in-law want to ask. Get the ones from your father-in-law, if he knows he has a spirit. I’m assuming your mother in law told you what she thinks he is. She could be wrong. If he has a spirit in him, he will know it and tell you right away,” Paul said.

He waved at me and took off for the parking lot. I went to the bus stop and waited for Mattie to pick me up. Two minutes later my white over black 1957 Fairlane pulled up and I jumped in. I kissed Mattie and she started for home.

“You smell different, and it is making me hungry!” Mattie said.

“I was hanging out with a buffalo, so let’s go to Henry’s and get a dozen 15 cent burgers, because I’m hungry too.”

“WHAT?” Mattie asked.

“I met a friend of mine from Y-Camp canoe trips. His dad was Native American. His spirit is buffalo. That’s why we feel hungry. We smell herd animal and our stomachs react. He’s a good guy and he is going to see if he can convince one of the elders to teach me what we need to know about the spirits inside us,” I said.

“My mom told me you were going to take care of me. Of course I already knew that, but you always surprise and impress me wolfboy,” Mattie said.

“I’m pretty sure ‘Okami Shoujo’ is the right name for our daughter. Her little gums hurt my nipples like she already has big canines!” Mattie said.

“I hope having her name in Japanese instead of Sioux won’t make problems. I really hope marking her with that name won’t cause problems either,” I said.

I went to visit my mom on Saturday. Dad was off fishing in some mud puddle.

“Mom, did anything unusual happen when you were pregnant? It seems like there are some strange things happening both with me and with Mattie, like there is an animal spirit living inside us. Did you visit any Indian sites or was there anything strange you can remember?

“Well, I hoped I wouldn’t have to tell you about this, but it will explain why your father hates you so much and why he’s made life hell for you, so I better tell you about it.

“Your father’s best friend raped me. He got me pregnant with you. Your father married me to save my reputation. You’ve looked just like your biological father since you were born.

“We were all friends, and I never would have thought he would do it, but we were out swimming at the lake, and your father started feeling sick and went to find an outhouse. All of a sudden, our friend’s nose started twitching and he looked at me really funny, like he’s a carnivore and I’m a raw rib eye steak. Then he ripped my swim suit off me and just rammed into me.

“I was a virgin. I screamed because it hurt. Then it got really weird because I hated being raped, but it felt so good, I couldn’t help myself, and I acted like I loved what he was doing to me. I was fucking him like a wild woman and begging him to fuck me harder and deeper. I kept having visions flash in front of my eyes of a pair of wolves mating. It seemed like the man raping me was the male wolf. Being ravished by the wolf seemed wonderful because I was having orgasms for the first time in my life, and the wolf was giving me multiples. I wanted him to fuck me forever, without stopping, and I wanted him to breed me.

“Your father came back just as his friend spewed inside me, and there I am, your dad’s girlfriend, begging his best friend to fuck me, cream me, and knock me up. Your father got really mad because I had kept putting him off about going all the way, and there I was acting like the world’s biggest slut, with his best friend. Your father really didn’t believe me that his friend raped me. That bastard just slunk off, and I never heard from him again. As soon as I missed my period, your father married me so no one would know.

“Here’s the terrible thing, your father has loved me since Junior High School. He wanted to be my first. He wanted to be my only. He wanted to make the earth move for me, like Hemingway talked about in “For Whom the Bell Tolls.” Your father tries so hard, and he’s pleasant and gentle and romantic, but I was having wild orgasms and screaming my head off while I was getting raped. Your father saw and heard it. I refuse to fake it because that’s just so dishonest. Your father has never made me cum like that. He just gives me little, ‘oh, that was nice,’ orgasms, and usually only one. So your father feels terrible that he can’t ring by bell the way he wants to, and there you are, just as handsome as his best friend, with the same amber eyes reminding him of me on my back with my legs in the air, screaming for his best friend to fuck me harder. Well, you can imagine why he didn’t need a reason to be pissed off at you,” Mom confessed.

“That certainly explains a lot. I guess I’ll have to try not to be so mad at dad.

“Do you ever have wolf dreams or visions?” I asked.

“Well once we were at a Christmas party one of the banks invited your dad to. There was a man there that had amber eyes, and when he walked by me, I wanted to follow him. Then when I got the full effect of his scent, I realized I wanted to be on my back, legs in the air, getting pounded, and begging him for more. It took all my willpower not to follow him or try to have him get me alone in a dark corner.

“Then, this is totally weird, when I met Mattie’s mother the first time, she seemed nice enough, but then planning your wedding and cooking for the reception, I was a lot closer to her. It seemed like I smelled something when she was close. It didn’t smell bad, but I kept wanting to rip her throat out with my teeth. I’ve never felt like that before,” Mom said.

“I think it’s pretty obvious you are a wolf spirit and Mattie’s mom is as well. Mattie and I both are, which is why we are so compatible. My biological father was a wolf spirit, obviously. That’s why you couldn’t fight him off mom. He was an Alpha Male, and he put you in heat so he could not only mate with you, but breed you. He knew what he did was wrong, which is why he slunk away.

“Anyway, Mattie and I have found that both of us being wolf spirit makes our sex so much better. When we first started making love, it was 100% human. It was totally wonderful. As we got closer and more comfortable with each other, we both relaxed, and the wolf came out. The sex went from wonderful to incredible. Mattie says her hormones make her greedy for more and bigger orgasms, so she really encouraged me to become the wolf. I finally let go completely, and although we stayed in human bodies, we were wolves, mating. Afterwards, we were both more deeply satisfied than ever before. It seems like we are more committed to each other every time we make love, just like a mated pair of wolves bonds with each other.

“However, it worried me because it felt like the wolf wanted to take over and be in control all the time. When I’m the wolf, I don’t think, I just act. So far, it’s only been to have sex with my wife an inhuman number of times in twenty-four hours, and to fuck her brutally hard, while she’s begging me to do it even harder. The thing that worries me is if there could come a time when I can’t come back and function in the human world.

“Maybe I’ve watched too many ‘Twilight Zone’ episodes, but Mattie and I agreed that we had to stop. We can’t take a chance on getting trapped with the wolf in control. We can’t risk that because Okami Shoujo is probably wolf spirit too, and she will need Mattie and me to help her deal with it, especially when she hits puberty,” I said.

“Well old Miss Growl sure got it right when she called you feral wolfboy,” Mom said.

“I have a friend from Y-Camp who is going to try to introduce me to some people who might know more about spirit animals and teach me what I need to know about how this works,” I said.

“Oh, how is Paul?” Mom asked.

“He’s fine. He’s in my Accounting 101 class.” I said.

“Is his dad still alive?” Mom wanted to know.

“No, he passed on. You know Paul’s dad was eighty-five when Paul was fifteen,” I said.

“Did you ask how many kids his dad eventually fathered?” Mom asked.

“No, I didn’t think it would be polite. If we become friends again, and are having some beers, I’ll ask him about it,” I said.

“If I remember right, his dad had married his fifth wife and she was about to have his 35^th biological child,” Mom said.

“Yes, Paul said his dad wore out the previous four having all those babies,” I said.

“Well, I hope Mattie lasts you for life, but my wish for you two is that you are still going at it like wild wolves when you are eighty-five, son,” My mom said.

“Thanks mom, that’s about the nicest wish anyone ever made for me. I think it’s pretty remarkable that we could talk about all this stuff without either of us getting freaked out or totally embarrassed about it,” I said.

“It’s definitely the wolf spirit. I can smell you, you know. You smell different now. It’s unusual that Mattie turned you into an Alpha. Usually a male can’t change. You did. I can smell that you are mated. You are not on the prowl like your biological father or the man at the party. But I can sense that if you thought your pack needed more pups for survival, you would breed me. I wouldn’t resist. You’d release pheromones that put me in heat, and then you’d breed me. The scary thing is that inside I know when you mated me, you’d make it so wonderful I’d totally forget your biological father raping me. I’d submit to you completely, and be your enthusiastic bitch in heat for the rest of my life. Mattie’s mother would submit to you as well.

I don’t know how I know these things, but pictures come into my mind and I know they are true, just like Mattie has told you things she could not know, yet you both know they are true,” My mom said.

“It is the wolf. I hope it won’t be necessary for pack survival. If your husband came upon us mating, he would try to kill me. If I took you from him he would fight for you to the death, or if I took you by stealth, he would either seek for you for the rest of his life or give up and die. I do not wish to give him any more pain.

“Again, it is so bizarre that a mother and son can talk so calmly about issues like submission and breeding so calmly. I have never felt sexual desire on a human level for either you or Mattie’s mom, yet on the wolf spirit level, I know both of you would be excellent mothers for pups and so I would breed either or both of you, without hesitation, if it was necessary for pack survival,” I said.

“Would Mattie understand?” My mom asked.

“Of course. She started understanding before any of us,” I said.

“There is something that kind of whispers in my ear. It’s like wolf wisdom of the ages or something. It’s telling me that a lot of Alpha Males have found that bringing a younger, prettier, and very submissive female into the pack to teach the Alpha Female that her Alpha Male is in charge, and will do as he pleases can cut down on disagreements later on. Sometimes doing that pretty early in the life of the pack eliminates fights that could disrupt the pack,” Mom said.