Chapter 23

2014

It was my birthday and for some damn reason my good buddy, Jeffrey Michaels, had seen fit to screw me over and have half of the American Army in attendance to celebrate it—read embarrass me.

“Just a little celebration,” said Jeff.

“Yeah,” said Harry Gould. “And we’re buyin’”

The hullabaloo was on!

There were seven of us doing the hard core drinking thing and I was no better than the middle of pack as far as consumption was concerned.

I noticed someone paying attention to me. A woman it was. I knew for damn sure it wasn’t anything to do with my amazing good looks. Maybe she was enamored of my amazing popularity on my birthday.

I pulled Jeff aside; well, he was standing right next to my chair.

“Jeff, ask that lady at the end of the bar if she’d like to join the celebration,” I said, “she’s been staring at us for the past fifteen minutes. Maybe I’ll get lucky.” My bud smirked.

“Yeah, for sure,” he said. I watched as he meandered over to the woman. Short, pretty, raven haired, confident: she was also a mystery, well, to me.

I watched as he talked to her. She smiled and nodded in the affirmative. Now I smiled.

He led her over to us.

“Hi, I’m Sam,” I said, as Jeff led her to me. “I’m the honoree today, but I’m willing to share.” I was smiling.

“Well, that’s nice,” she said. “Nice of you to invite me to the party.” She waved at the group surrounding us.

“Our pleasure for sure, ma’am,” I said.

“So what did you do to have so many friends attend your birthday party?” she said.

“Nothing much, really, I won the bet is all, oh, and I got a little older,” I said.

“A bet?” she said.

“Yes, I bet these guys that they had to come to my 38th birthday party if I could eat a hand grenade and survive. I won the bet like I said.” I said. She gave me a look the major component of which was disbelief.

“He’s not kidding, Velma. That is exactly what he did. None of us actually think he’s immortal or anything but maybe something close to it,” said Jeffrey.

“Hmm,” she said. “Tell me more,”

For the next ten or fifteen minutes she queried me and a few of the others in the party, casually, but more or less in depth. I began to wonder what was so all fired interesting about a collection of us war relics. But, she was pretty and none of the guys seemed to mind her mini-inquisition. I sure didn’t. Apart from Lana, I’d not had an actual conversation with a woman in so long that it wasn’t even funny.

The party went on till the wee smalls. We actually closed the place at a few minutes after two. Jeff, who’d driven me down, drove me home. Velma, the stranger woman, had left a bit before we all headed out.

“That Velma woman sure was nice looking,” said Jeff.

“She was that. If I still had my face, I’d have made a play for her,” I said.

“Hell, I can dig it man. I wouldn’t mind taking her out for dinner myself?” said Jeff.

“Well, hell man, you’re single ask her out. Did you get her number?” I said.

“No, but I think Johnny Lipscom did. Maybe I’ll ask him for it,” said Jeff.

The fact that my best bud could do what I couldn’t do kinda made me feel jealous and sad, again. But hell, he had a life to live too. It wasn’t his fault that I was the way I was. What was kind of ironic was the truth that he was the way he was because I was the way I was. I just sighed.

We pulled up in front of the Gloria and the man walked me to the door. He wasn’t pretty enough to be considered a real date, but I sure was glad I had a friend like him. A guy like me needed friends.

“Okay, man, see you tomorrow if you’re around,” he said.

“You got it man. But me and Lana might just kind of kick back tomorrow. There’s baseball on the tube: I just got me a TV. It’s old but it works okay. Maybe I’ll do some catching up on whatever’s going on with my Dodgers,” I said.

“Do it,” he said.

“Hi” said Lana, “how was the party?”

“Good, noisy, but good. You shoulda come,” I said.

“No, no, when I’ve got my period and I knew that all of the talk was going to be an endless parade of battle field lies, I had to choose between my sitcoms or noisy liars. Easy choice.” She couldn’t see the sitcoms of course, but she could listen to them, and she always did.

We went to bed. Tomorrow would be another day in the life of a complete loser—me.

They were in the pool. They had themselves wrapped around each other. “These tits are the softest things I’ve ever had my paws on,” said Owen, as he massaged her breasts. She pulled him down to her level and kissed him gently.

“And they’re yours to feel up whenever you wish,” she said. She laughed and he followed suit. The buzzer indicating a visitor buzzed. The two of them looked up.

“Damn,” he said. “Talk about importuning a guy.”

He muscled himself up and over the side of the pool and grabbed a towel. He headed inside wiping the most of the wet off of himself in the process. He answered the door with the towel draped over his head.

“Velma!” he said.

“Oops, I guess I should’ve called. But, I was on the road and just decided to take a chance you’d be in, it being Saturday,” she said.

“No, no, you’re always welcome. The wife and I were just taking a dip in the pool,” he said.

“Hmm, sounds nice,” she said.

“But come in, come in,” he said. “I take it you have some news about the other guy?”

“I do, I do,” she said.

“Hi Velma,” said Abigail, coming in and drying her hair with a towel in the process.

“And to you,” said Velma.

“Come, come, let’s go into the den,” said Owen.

The pleasantries over with the three adults were seated around the table that served as the business center of the house.

“The children?” said Velma.

“Ronald’s upstairs napping the two girls are at practice for the school play,” said Abigail. Their visitor nodded.

“Well, I went to check on the man, and happened to come upon him in the middle of his birthday party,” she said. Abigail’s eyes shot open.

“I’d forgotten. Of course, it’s his birthday; well, it was a week ago,” said Abigail.

“Yes, well there was a party. A number of his Army friends were there, and I was invited to join them; which I did,” said Velma.

“I talked to all of them, and one in particular, Jeffrey Michaels,” she said.

“Yes, yes, we know Jeff,” said Abigail.

“Yes, well he, Jeffrey, called me a couple of days after the party and we went to dinner,” she said.

“This is getting interesting,” said Owen.

“Yes, well, and before we go any farther, I did talk to the man himself and that at some length,” she said.

“Okay,” said Owen.

“But most of what I found out I found out at the dinner I had with Jeffrey,” she said.

“What did Sam say?” butted in Abigail.

Velma Reason sighed. “He, Sam, told me that he had no family, and that his last living relative was his father who passed a few years back. He has no job and gets by on his military disability.”

Abigail nodded, sadly nodded.

“And Jeffrey?” said Owen.

“We talked mostly about his job, he’s a truck driver, and his hopes for the future. He wants a family and he’s getting to age where he’s kinda in a hurry, his words,” she said.

“And about Sam?” said Owen.

“Yes, he says the man is ultimately sad and depressed, but he’s better than he was according to Jeffrey. He evidently has a girlfriend now. Her name is Lana. What kinda bothered me about that was the fact that when I talked to Sam he never mentioned her; Jeffrey did, but he didn’t,” said Velma. “It seemed very strange to me after the fact.”

“Yes, that is strange,” said Abigail. “But sad and depressed?”

“Yes, that’s what Jeffrey said. He said that the boys, his friends were kind of taking turns visiting him at his apartment and meeting him for drinks at the VFW where he hangs out almost nightly. The girlfriend hardly ever goes there with him. It’s a guy thing I guess, I mean the VFW bar.” said Velma.

“Anything else?” said Owen.

“Well, I will be keeping you informed. I think I’m going to be dating Jeffrey on a regular basis. And before you ask, I don’t know,” she said.

“Oh my,” said Abigail. “Well good for you. If there’s anything we can do please let us know. Okay.”

“Sure will,” said Velma.

“Well,” said Abigail, and it was a rhetorical “well.”

“Yes,” he said. “The man is spinning his wheels. Rather than trying to do something, he’s just waiting to get old and die. So, do we try to shake him loose from his nothing life, or...”

“I’m going to go to him. I have to,” she said. Her husband nodded.

“it’s been years now and nothing, and now because I had him investigated we’re going to rock the boat? I don’t know, Abigail. I’d like to help the man but only if he is willing to be helped. If he isn’t we are only setting ourselves up for more of the same and complicating his life in the bargain,” he said.