Chapter 21

2007

“So?” said Owen.

“He’s bitter and it’s all my fault,” she said.

“And it’s your fault? What?” he said.

“He heard me kind of dissing him when I was talking to Harriet that night we all went to dinner at the Scarborough,” she said.

“Dissing him?” He said.

“Yes. I’m ashamed to say it. In fact I said the same thing to Harriet at the time. But, doing him made my skin crawl. I mean he is so damn ugly. Anyway, he heard me say that and well, it probably ended it for him and me and I mean forever. He will never forgive me now,” she said.

“Oh shit,” he said. “And you say he doesn’t trust me?”

“More like he does trust you. He trusts you to take his place with the children including his yet to be born son,” she’s said.

“Oh boy,” he said. “So what do you think? How should we handle all of this?”

“Damned if I know?” She said. “Like I said, it’s pretty much a fact that he hates me now, after what he heard me saying about doing him.”

“I doubt if he hates you. That he’s bitter as you said earlier I can well believe. A man with no hope of having a woman, and having it be you, especially you, prove it to him; well, that pretty much puts the period on that sentence,” he said.

“Yes,” she said. “That’s about the size of it, and like I said, it’s all my fault.”

“Look, I can talk to him if you want. He and I seem to get along okay when it’s one on one. I mean it’s worth a try, right?” he said. She shrugged, but didn’t voice a comment or respond to his offer.

“Okay, I’ll try it. Maybe I can get him drunk. Maybe that’ll make him more agreeable to dealing with us and with the kids,” he said.

“Funny,” she said. “But no, drinking might get him to be more talkative, but more agreeable? Unlikely. Now if I could just get him to unhear what I said,” she said.

Hmm, yes, but that not being possible I’m gonna just try logic,” he said. “Anyway, it’s all we got.”

“I guess,” she said.

Well it didn’t take them long to come at my flank. It was him this time. And it was night time at that, and at the VFW. Well, the drinks were cheap.

“Buy you another one of those?” he said, coming up to me. I gave him a steel cold look.

“Why not,” I said, “a free drink is always a winner, and their cheap enough here that it won’t put much of a dent in your wallet.”

“You seem to be in a fairly good mood tonight,” he said, as he waved at Betty to attend to our needs.

“Better mood, but no better looking than I was yesterday, so maybe it’s a wash,” I said.

“No, you’re right, you’re as ugly as you were yesterday I’m sure,” he said. I looked him askance.

“Well, nobody can accuse you of trying to make a body feel better,” I said.

“No, no, you are absolutely right about that,” he said. “Your ex tells me you’re worried about me taking your place with the kids.”

“Worried about it? More like resigned to it,” I said.

“Hmm, you’d be wrong to be so,” he said, “because I am not. Do they call me dad? Yes, they do. Would they call you dad? Yes they would, of course you’d need to be around for that to happen. And now, with a son on the way...”

“Yes, yet another Cord about to enter the lists,” I said.

“Sort of,” he said.

“Sort of? What does that mean?” I said.

“He’s going to have a hyphenated name,” he said.

“What? What’s that?” I said.

“His last name will be Bradshaw-Cord,” he said. I stared at him.

“Really,” I said, my tone indicating my indifference to his announcement.

“Yes. Look, can we talk. I mean seriously talk and maybe come to an understanding or two?” he said.

I shrugged my tentative okay. “Understandings about what?” I said.

“First off,” I hear from Cedric that you put all of your money in trusts for the kids. That right?” He said.

“Yes. I don’t need it. And it’s something that I can do for them, and yes I know you’ll probably give ‘em more than that in pocket change,” I said, “but it’s all I got. As they say, it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“Hmm,” he said.

“Yeah, hmm,” I said back at him.

“Look, as hard as it may be for you to believe I am not a complete idiot. I know you’re basically a good guy, and in spite of everything you may think, and all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, so am I. Yes, I took your wife away. I mean look at the woman. No man was going to be able to resist her. And I had something you didn’t...” he said.

“Yeah, a large bank account,” I said, interrupting him.

“Yes, but that wasn’t it. Not the biggest ‘it’ at least,” he said.

“Really, you got something else that’s bigger than a zillion bucks?” I said.

“Yes,” he said, “reliability. I’m dependable and honest and I do what I say no matter what; And, Mister, I never lie, and I mean never. If I don’t want you to know something I simply won’t tell you. But, if I do tell you, you can take whatever it is to the bank. Oh fucking ‘kay!”

“Really. Okay, are you going to minimize my prime fatherhood with the children? I mean I think you already have with the girls, but in the future the girls and my son?” I said. He smirked.

“The king of the loaded question,” he said. “The short answer is no. But will you see it that way. I see myself as their father, just not their only one. As for who is going to be numero uno with them, that’ll be up to the girls and your son, our son. But, I will not be ‘buying’ my position if that’s what you really think.

“Look, Sam, you need to be around them. If you’re not, the crown will fall to me without me doing a thing to encourage it. But, conversely, if you are around, I think what may happen is that they will see us both as daddies, come to the each of us for different things. And in spite of your handicaps you could have a lot to offer,” he said.

“Yeah, like what!” I said.

“Jesus, here I am about to give fatherhood lessons to my ‘perceived’ rival. Okay what the hell. Here it is, your first lesson, and it may be your last, so listen up.

“You, sir, are in a position to show by example how a person, no matter how desperately challenged, deals effectively and honestly with the world around them. You can be an actual shining example of how a person can rise above any of life’s difficulties and challenges even the ones that can kill the soul. You have what it takes for that, Sam: your disabilities. If you can show the children how a real man can deal successfully with the challenges you are facing, trust me it will trump anything and everything I or anybody can do with money only. But of course, you do have to be able to deal with your challenges to even begin to be the winner you might be,” he said.

The sonovabitch was actually making some sense. “Hmm,” was my seriously brilliant reply.

“Yes, hmm,” he said. “And, just for the record, what you did with your money? It was the right thing to do. It set the tone for proving what kind of father you might be. It can’t be the end all of it though. Money is useful but not as a character builder or the kind of ammunition that can solve the most difficult of human problems. It just makes things real comfortable for those who have a lot of it.”

We talked over things for some time. But the upshot was that problems for me persisted. Number one: the question of how I was going to be around enough to influence my children if I didn’t actually move back to Phoenix. And number two: I still was not convinced that I had any hope of ever besting the man in the fatherhood competition. What I needed was a situation where there would be no competition. I just wanted to be my children’s daddy, their only daddy.

The man had made some good points in our talk. I had to give him that. But they, the points, were abstract, not concrete. I’m just a simple guy. I needed concrete. We’d be seeing I supposed.

After three shots of JD, in my experience, seeing what someone looks like, even me, is kinda difficult. Of course I didn’t know how many drinks she’d had, but for some reason the woman kept eyeing me from the second table to my left. I was sitting in my chair and I doubted she could see that because of the table cloth, but my face was right on to her. I looked over at her, directly at her, and decided to say something. Well, no one wants to be the object of intense scrutiny, not the kind that I was the object of. I rolled over to her.