Chapter 18

Forty minutes after we set out we pulled up in front of the house. I gathered my things, and we went inside. She said she wanted to come in for a minute, but couldn’t stay. She and Anna, who had pulled up just behind us, needed to get back because of the children, but she was going to say hello to Dad before she left.

The place was quiet. Dad was nowhere to be found. Then he was, on the patio. My father, really what was actually left of my whole family, had passed.

I wheeled myself over to the body of the man, and I was actually angry. He didn’t have the right to go this way; no, he didn’t; but, he had.

She came up behind me. I was staring. It was all I could do. It was all I knew to do. I’d seen men die. I’d killed men. But this was way different. Cancer was a way different way to die, a dirty way to die.

“Sam,” she whispered, “this has to be left to me. You need to let me handle everything, sir. Please. I looked around at her. I nodded, slowly nodded.

“Okay,” I muttered. She turned and left me for the moment. I was glad for that. I needed to be alone with my daddy.

“I had to talk to Anna. She’s taking the kids for the night, and...” she started.

“Him,” I said.

“Yes,” she said. “He knows how to handle things. But anything you need, want, what all, will be the way you say.” I nodded. I had no choice; I couldn’t do it, and Jeff and the boys were back in Tucson.

I don’t know how he did it, he was supposed to be out of town, but he got to us very soon after Abigail had called him.

He’d been standing beside me for what had to have been an hour. He wasn’t saying anything; he was just standing there. It was all just kind of surreal.

I don’t think I’d moved more than a few feet from where I’d first seen my dad in the whole time since. I’d sort of been figuratively pacing a few feet back and forth in my chair. I’d learn later that I had been talking to myself. At the time I didn’t know I was, talking to myself that is.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Sam,” I looked around at him. He kind of motioned me to follow him off of the patio. I looked at him. I looked down at my dad, someone had covered him with a sheet. I hadn’t even noticed them doing that.

Owen, it was Owen, was leading me back into the house. There were men there, men in uniform.

“Sam, these men are here to help us with your dad. Would that be okay?” he said. I nodded. I was beginning to regain actual consciousness.

“Yes,” I said. “I understand.”

There was sudden flurry of activity. I thought it was sudden. The men in uniform were moving back and forth. I saw them take my daddy outside, out the front door. I knew what they were doing. I wished I wasn’t so ugly. I don’t know why I was thinking that; it had nothing to do with anything; it had no meaning, but then again, it did for me. I would be ugly at my daddy’s funeral. I was bawling, loudly bawling!

I’d been drinking. I needed to drink. It was night time. The man sat across from me now; he was drinking too. I was still sobbing, I had to.

“You feeling okay, Sam?” he said.

“He was all I had left. All.” I said.

“Sam the one thing I’m going to say here is a true thing, oh my yes it is. Sam, you have a whole family here. We all have feelings for you. No matter the past; that is the truest thing in the world,” he said.

“Sure,” I said. I don’t know how convincing I was.

“Sam, I know Abigail told you, but we will take care of everything. Just let us, okay?” he said.

“Sure,” I said. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t do any of it. I didn’t have any money, and I was in a wheelchair, and I didn’t know anything.

“Sam, there are going to be legal matters to take care of. Would you like me to take the lead there?” he said.

“Legal matters?” I said.

“Yes, your dad’s house, insurance he might have had, other stuff,” he said.

“Oh, okay, I guess,” I said. I hadn’t thought of any of that. Dad had said he was going to help me with some car stuff, but I didn’t know what funds he was going to use. I just thought it was maybe his pay, his regular pay. But now, with what Owen had said, maybe I would have some money—and the house. I didn’t know if it was paid for or not. It was the house I’d been raised in. I was twenty-nine; so he’d had to have had the house longer than thirty years; maybe it was paid for.

“He okay?” she said.

“Define okay? The man’s a basket case and feeling abandoned. It is so freaking sad,” said Owen. She nodded.

“I’m glad you brought him here to stay. He needs to have people around him at least till after the funeral,” said Abigail.

“Yes, yes he does,” he said. “He gave us permission to take care of the legal stuff for him too. The house is old, but it might be free and clear. That’ll be good for him; he won’t have to be renting anymore, but he would have to move back here. I mean if he wants to live in that house.”

“He might want to sell it,” she said.

“That’s a possibility of course, but his kids are here. That might be the tipping point for him. It could also be a small problem for us. He’d have a house. He might be able to get shared custody,” he said. “I mean his handicaps might preclude that; but well, I just don’t know.”

“No, no, I don’t see that as happening. More visitation, yes obviously, but shared custody, no,” she said, “not with his limitations.”

“Hmm, maybe,” he said.

“The funeral?” She said.

“Yes, it’ll be Saturday as we discussed. And yes, I did invite that ex-sergeant friend of his as well.

“Oh and his dad already had two plots selected and paid for, for himself and for Sam too for when he passes, years down the line of course in Sam’s case.”

“Good, good,” she said. “Anyway, dinner’s in half an hour. I’ll go tell him.” The man nodded.

“Okay, good,” he said. “I’ll get the kids washed up and all.”

“You’re so domestic,” she said, and laughed playfully.

“Yes, I would have made someone a good wife I’m sure,” he said, rising to take care of the children’s wash up.

“How are you doing, Sam,” said Abigail.

I turned to see her. I’d been gazing out the window at the expansive yard of the Cord’s castle in the city.

“Okay, I guess. It’s been a couple of days now. I’ve had a chance to get my act together. I’d like to say that I do appreciate your help and Owen’s of course. But, I could take over now if you are...” I started.

“Not a chance, big guy. This one’s on us. And we see it as an honor that you are allowing us to be involved. You’re going to have enough to handle as it is. Just let us do the lifting here.