Chapter 21: That Second First Time

Chapter Cast:

Darren, Male, 54
- Narrator, retired, father of Gwen and Victoria (Vic)
- 5’11, beige skin, 195lbs, cropped greying brown hair
Audrey, Female, 16
- High school senior, daughter of Duncan and Theresa
- 5’9, pale skin, 140lbs, light-green eyes, straight auburn hair over her shoulders
Gwen, Female, 16
- High school sophomore, daughter of Darren, sister of Victoria
- 5’6, beige skin, 135lbs, shoulder-length wavy black hair
Victoria (Vic), Female, 14
- High school freshman, daughter of Darren, sister of Gwen
- 5’4, beige skin, 120lbs, wavy neck-length light-brown hair
Joyce, Female, early-80s
- Wife of Herman, grandmother of Audrey, mother of Theresa
- 5’6, beige skin, 115lbs, bobbed salt-and-pepper hair
Herman, Male, early-80s
- Husband of Joyce, grandfather of Audrey, father of Theresa
- 6’0, beige-olive skin, 180lbs, thin short gray hair

I’d like to say that the guilt I felt about Rainey was difficult to flush away, but the honest truth was that my love for Audrey made it selfishly easy to let go. The selfishness wasn’t lost on me, but I couldn’t change how I felt. I was free to see Audrey again, more or less. It would be risky, a situation we would have to manage very carefully. With her only sixteen years old, it was illegal for us to have a physical relationship. It meant there would be a lot of things we’d want to do together, in public, which absolutely could not be seen by anyone.

And it was more than that, as if those risks weren’t enough. My daughters gave me their blessings, but I knew there would be trying times as I attempted to keep my reborn relationship with Audrey from changing the way my girls and I had come to grow closer the previous months. I didn’t want anything to risk that, but I knew there might be situations where I couldn’t be both Dad and lover, at least not in a way fair to everyone. I hoped I never had to make choices like those I’d confronted the previous year, but I acknowledged that, despite Gwen and Victoria supporting me, such events were bound to happen. I could only hope that we were all mature enough to deal with them without another massive blowup.

The conversation with Rainey had been difficult but could have gone much worse. A small part of me felt terrible that she was, in that moment, suffering heartbreak and rejection, but as I pulled into the visitor parking lot at Audrey’s school, my young lover was dominating my thoughts.

An attendant approached me as soon as I parked. “Hello, sir. This lot is for parents, guardians, and pre-approved visitors only.”

“Ah, apologies. I’m trying to help a ... friend ... get her car started. She left it in the student lot over night.”

“The student?”

“Audrey Andrews.”

The attendant pulled out a walkie-talkie and said, “Got a visitor here to assist Audrey Andrews with her car...”

He listened and I heard a crackling voice say, “We were notified earlier. Name?”

The man looked at me and I said, “Darren Oxley.”

He repeated my name and then the person on the other end said, “Cleared for lot access only.”

The attendant put the device away and reached into his pocket, pulling out a rectangular badge and then writing my name across the solid blue line. He hung it around my neck. “You can access the student lot through that gate. The badge will let you through. If you need anything, my cell is on the badge.”

I thanked him and got back in my car, moving it into the student lot. It took a moment to find Audrey’s car, a decent dark-green compact with four doors and a short trunk. I parked nearby and tried to start her vehicle. The engine turned over slowly but had too little juice to fire up. Assuming the battery was mostly drained, I repositioned my car so that I could stretch jumper cables between them.

After I grabbed the cables from my trunk, I saw Audrey walking towards me from the big red brick building on the main campus. “Hey,” she said as she joined me.

“Hey ... just about to get you going.”

“Thanks ... I appreciate it...”

“Always,” I smiled at her. Her returned expression warmed me all over.

“Show me how this works?” she said, pointing to the cables.

“Sure.”

I demonstrated how to connect the jumpers and then had Audrey sit in her car. I cranked mine and revved the engine, and then signaled her to turn the key. Her sedan came to life and I stepped out, telling her to give it a few minutes to give the battery some time to charge.

“I, uh ... I called Rainey this morning...”

Audrey looked at me closely.

“I ended it ... as nicely as I could...”

“So it’s over, then? For good?”

“It’s over...”

She nodded and said, “I’m sorry...”

“No, please don’t be sorry,” I assured her. “It was going to happen eventually no matter what happened between you and me...”

She looked back at the school, then around the lot, before whispering, “I love you so much, Darren.”

“I know ... I love you, too.”

Her smile was warm sunshine for my soul. Nothing in the world made me feel better than Audrey’s smile.

“I got a call before I came out,” Audrey told me, “Grandma Joyce is coming home soon. I’ve got permission to take the day off and go see her.”

“Great to hear!” I replied.

“I have to come back for practice, though, so it’s only for a few hours.”

“I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

She nodded, “Yeah ... and ... maybe ... if you want ... we could ... talk?”

I tilted my head, “Always ... umm ... about us?”

She smiled again and replied quietly, “‘Talk’ is a euphemism, Darren...”

I felt myself stirring. “I’d like that...”

I followed Audrey out of the lot and back to our street. She pulled into her driveway as I parked in my garage. Herman’s car was already in place next door, so I went over and knocked on the door. Audrey let me in. “She’s doing okay,” the teen told me.

Leading me inside, Audrey nodded towards the living room and asked, “Need a drink?”

“Water would be great, thanks.”

She turned into the kitchen, and I found Joyce sitting alone in the living room. “Oh, Darren! So lovely to see you!”

I leaned in for a hug then sat beside her.

She said, “My husband just went to lay down. Poor thing barely slept, I think. Worrying about little old me!”

“You are a lucky woman, Joyce, to have such a loving man in your life.”

“Don’t I know it! I think he’d do anything for me.”

“I have no doubt.”

She eyed me a minute, then spoke in a quieter voice, “Have you settled things with Rainey?”

“This morning...”

“Ah,” Joyce replied, “I’m sorry for her. She must be hurting.”

I nodded but said nothing.

“Apologies, Darren. I know you understand this.”

“I do...”

“She’s a wonderful friend and companion ... I suppose ... I suppose she isn’t the one you wanted after all...”

“She is wonderful,” I agreed, “but ... she isn’t Audrey...”

“No one is,” Joyce replied. “And so, you two ... back together?”

I nodded.

“Well ... I’m sure I don’t need to tell you about the risks ... She’s sixteen ... and while my husband and I have come around ... you can’t let others know...”

“I know ... Believe me ... I know...”

“And your daughters?”

“They know and they support us ... support me...”

Joyce nodded.

Audrey brought a tray with drinks and sat it on the coffee table, handing her grandmother a glass of what looked like lemonade and then passed me water, taking one of the latter for herself.

We sat in silence a moment, my eyes often meeting Audrey’s and my stomach fluttering each time.

“So,” Joyce said into the quiet room, “you’ve finagled a day off of school and you’re spending it dotting on an old woman. Seems like a lousy trade,” she chuckled.

“I don’t think so,” Audrey said, “I’m just happy you’re home.”

“Well, like my husband, I didn’t sleep so well last night. I’m going to go join him in a long nap.”

I helped Joyce as she tried to stand, taking her lemonade with her. “Do you need anything, Joyce?”

“Not a thing, thanks for asking. I’ll ring you if that changes...” She looked at her granddaughter for a few seconds and then grinned, “Besides, I expect you two have some... talking ... to do...”