Chapter 18: An Improvement in Outlook

March 23, 2012 12:30pm

“I have a question, Anika,” Jesse said as the four sat at the dining room table. “If we were in Sweden, what would you serve for lunch?”

“Ah, you are curious,” she smiled. “Well, it might be some yellow pea soup and an oven-baked pancake with jam or something sweet on it. Or it might be a whitefish baked in a traditional sauce with some potato and a vegetable. The lunch at home is usually a hot meal, but not too big.”

“My mom used to make yellow pea soup with shredded carrot and pepper on top,” he said. “I really liked it. She’d make a big batch and freeze the rest of it in little containers. I’d have that for lunch any day,” he smiled.

“You must miss your mother’s cooking,” she offered with a sad smile.

“Yes ... I do ... a lot. But Eve is a very good cook too, and she makes some traditional Czech dishes now and then. I’ll never starve,” he chuckled.

“How are your studies coming, Jesse?” Kirsten asked.

“Okay, I think. I’ll know better when I take the entrance exams in May. It’s pretty competitive getting into the big universities now. I’ll have to have good scores on my tests to get accepted. If I don’t make it, I’ll look for a community college that offers the courses I want.”

“I hope you make it,” Kirsten said with a smile.

“Thanks,” he said shyly. Encouragement from her was always welcome.

“Do you know what you want to study?” Tomas asked.

“Yes ... I’ve chosen a number of business and English courses, along with psychology. Some of the courses will be second year since I’m getting a base in first year now. But I’m not sure how I’ll do in the science courses on the UBC entrance exams, so I’m not counting on making the grade. Whatever happens, I’ll continue with my education, even if I have to take night school.”

“Have you thought about what kind of career you want?” Anika asked.

“Only in general terms. I’d like to find something that allowed me to use my writing skills. I’ve been working on putting together a résumé, but I don’t know where I want to send it yet. I’m using the Internet to check the job-search sites. I’ve got lots of time, so I won’t rush to make a decision.”

“It must have been exciting for you to meet your sister again,” Kirsten said.

“Yes. I couldn’t remember her last name ... her married name, but Eve was able to find it and had her traced. Her first husband died when they were living in Atlanta, but she moved to Arizona and remarried a couple of years later.”

“Oh, she must be quite a bit older than you,” Kirsten said.

“Uhh ... yeah, she is,” Jesse stumbled, realizing what he had revealed. “She married young.” It was pretty weak, he knew, but he desperately wanted to change the subject. His runaway mouth had got him into deep water.

Jesse had barely finished his comment when he felt a hand on his thigh. It could only have been Kirsten’s and the surprise was startling. She had been so reticent ... so cautious for so long. Only their day at the ballpark and their two days of skiing at Christmas gave him any hope that she would warm to him. Now, something had changed and he was curious to find out what it was.

He held her up to be something unattainable. He knew falling for her might bring disappointment, but he couldn’t help himself. Like a moth to the flame, he couldn’t resist the attraction. Now, with a simple hidden gesture, something had changed. Dare he hope? She wasn’t looking in his direction, but her hand remained and occasionally he felt a light squeeze.

“Thank you for the lunch, Anika,” Jesse said with a smile. “It was delicious. Now, I think I’ll go for a walk. I’ve been stuck in a flying metal cigar tube and a hotel room for most of this week. I could use a little exercise and fresh air.”

Anika chuckled and agreed. “I know what you mean. Any time we fly to Sweden, it really is tiring ... even in business class. Why don’t you go with him, Kirsten?”

Jesse looked at the young woman and saw a smile and a nod. “That is a good idea. Do you mind if I join you, Jesse?”

“No ... of course not,” he said, returning her smile.

Jesse returned to the apartment for his jacket and a cap, letting Eve know he was going for a walk with Kirsten. Eve gave him a knowing smile. “Have a nice time,” she said.

Kirsten was waiting for him in the hallway when he emerged from the apartment. “Where shall we go?” she asked.

“I was thinking we could take the little ferry boat and wander around Granville Island. Is that okay with you?”

“I like that idea,” she smiled.

It was less than a three block walk to the ferry dock near the Aquatic Center. As they left the apartment lobby, Kirsten took Jesse’s hand. Jesse could feel the rush of adrenalin that went through his body. First the hand on his thigh, now hand-holding as they walked almost shoulder to shoulder. Something had changed in Kirsten and it energized him. Kirsten felt something similar when she had inexplicably put her hand on his thigh. It had been a completely spontaneous act.

There was a ten minute wait for the next ferry that would ultimately take them to Granville Island, landing near the market. Jesse had been tongue-tied so far. He struggled for something reasonably intelligent to say.

“My father learned to swim in the old Crystal Pool that was once on this site,” he began. “It was an old damp concrete building and possibly the only indoor swimming pool in the city. It’s long gone now, and this is four times the size of the old building. There have been a lot of changes in the last fifty years,” he mused.

“I’ve never been in the building. We should look at it some day. We could go swimming there, even in wintertime.”

“I’m for that,” Jesse grinned. “You could wear a nice little bikini too.”

“Jesse!” she said in mock disgust, slapping him on the shoulder.

“Why not,” he said, maintaining a sincere look. “You wouldn’t want to hide that perfect body of yours behind an old fashioned bathing suit.”

She pushed him away, fighting the urge to laugh. “You are trying to embarrass me.”

“Who me? No. I would never want to embarrass you. However, you might find all the other women in the pool would be embarrassed when they saw you. You would be impossible competition.”

“I am not in competition with any other women!” she snapped.

“That’s true,” Jesse smirked. “They wouldn’t stand a chance anyway.”

“Why do you always say things like that?” It was a genuine question not asked out of irritation, and once more, he could hear the subtle lilt of her Swedish accent.

“Kirsten, what do you see when you look in the mirror? Who is it looking back at you?”

“I do not understand the question. I see myself, of course.”

“I see one of the most beautiful women on this earth. Surely you must be aware of how others see you,” he said sincerely.

“That is ridiculous, Jesse. I am not that person at all. I am too big ... and my face is round.”

“Well, I won’t go into that old ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ cliché because there are far too many beholders to count. Physically, you are a Viking goddess. Your body would inspire any artist or sculptor. And your face is not too round. The sun is round, and when it falls on your face it warms you and everyone around you. A full moon on a clear night is round and shines its pale white light on you in admiration. Round is beautiful. That’s what I see when I look at you.”

She was stunned into silence. She didn’t understand just how Jesse viewed her. They stood facing each other, oblivious to everything around them except each other. Jesse slowly moved toward her, leaning slightly forward before kissing her gently on her lips. She hadn’t moved and waited for what she knew was coming. That surge she felt when his lips touched hers was there again. She felt momentarily dizzy and had to steady herself when he withdrew.

Jesse was smiling. He knew he had taken a big risk, but she had not rejected him.

Kirsten had yet to accept his view of her as a beautiful woman, but he was so sincere, and ... what was the word ... sensitive? Was he making love to her with words? She took a moment to catch her breath. What did she think had just happened? Jesse had kissed her and she felt a burst of pleasure that was new to her. She could put her fears aside when she was with him. She trusted him. Now, he was telling her something? Not just that he found her beautiful, but more than that.

She moved back toward him and they kissed once more. It was soft and warm in the damp, cold air of early spring. She put her arms around him and he responded with his arms enveloping her. It felt so good to be there just then. A toot of the ferry horn interrupted their moment, but it wouldn’t be forgotten soon. Hand-in-hand, they approached the little electric boat and carefully boarded. They found a place where they could sit side-by-side, close to each other. They didn’t notice the scenery or the other passengers. They were too engrossed in each other.

There was hardly a moment over the next hour that they weren’t in contact with each other. Jesse couldn’t have kept a smile from his face if he tried ... which he didn’t. Kirsten was just as happy. She had made a personal breakthrough and it felt good to purge the demons from the past and actually enjoy and welcome contact with a young man. Not just any young man, however. Only Jesse was allowed into that carefully guarded place.

He had grown on her slowly with their infrequent contact, but with his constant politeness and good humour she became comfortable in his presence. She acknowledged he was handsome and more mature than she expected. He was quiet and almost shy in some cases. But today, he had allowed himself to tell her how he saw her. She was convinced he believed she was beautiful. He was patient, knowing she had commitments to her team and her education. He gave her “space.” There was no pressure from him, and he couldn’t know just how grateful she was for that.

She thought back to the time in Whistler last year when he prevented the three drunken men from trying to take her to their place. He was fierce in his determination to protect her. But he also had a sense of humour. His bikini comment a few minutes ago was just the kind of thing he might say that didn’t truly embarrass her. No, it was decided. She wanted Jesse Peterson as her boyfriend at least, and it might even progress further than that.

Jesse was euphoric over the change in Kirsten. It seemed she had come to a decision that he was someone she wanted to be with. He thought he was at that stage last September when they went to the ballgame together. But with all the interruptions in their schedules, they had little contact after that. Only Christmas in Whistler gave them an opportunity to be together again, and that was only for a couple of days. They had little private time of their own. He had almost given up that he would ever have a chance with her when today happened.

He could tell exactly when he decided to take a big risk and let Kirsten know how he felt about her. The kiss was a spontaneous thing that turned out to be the right thing at the right time. The words he managed to string together to try and explain why he thought she was so beautiful were corny, but they were also heartfelt. When she returned his kiss, it was all worthwhile.

It was silly, he thought. Hell, thirteen-year-old teenagers were more intimate than he and Kirsten. But in the back of his mind, he knew he could not rush this relationship. She had been hurt sometime in the past, and he was pretty sure it involved a boy ... or a man ... or men ... and it had been traumatic enough that she had sought psychiatric counselling to help her get over the issues. No, if she was a prize worth winning, then he would have to continue to take it slowly and let her decide when to move their relationship along.

“Did you have a nice time together?” Eve asked as he returned to the apartment.

“Yes ... a very nice time,” he smiled.

“She’s a very lovely young woman.”

“Yes,” Jesse answered, almost laughing at the transparency of Eve. There was little doubt that the two “mothers” were trying to put him and Kirsten together.

“Where did you go?”

“Granville Island. We just wandered around looking in the shops and other businesses.”

“You picked a nice day for it.”

“I kissed her ... and she kissed me back,” he said out of nowhere.

“Oh ... that’s nice,” Eve said, surprised at Jesse’s unsolicited comment.

“I told her she was very beautiful, but I don’t know if she believes me.”

“She is very beautiful,” Eve said thoughtfully, “but perhaps she needs someone like you to tell her that.”

“I think she’s beautiful ... and that’s all that matters to me.”

Eve smiled. Jesse had it bad and despite his experience with Sue and Joanna, this was a whole different situation. He was clearly smitten ... although Eve thought that might have happened the first time they met. But he was being very cautious ... and rightly so. Kirsten must have made some kind of breakthrough that afternoon and Eve was anxious to hear about it when they next met.