A Well-Lived Life 2 - Book 4 - Elyse
Chapter 3: Taps

Copyright © 2015-2023 Penguintopia Productions

Coming of Age Sex Story: Chapter 3: Taps - This is the continuation of the story told in "A Well-Lived Life 2", Book 3. If you haven't read the entire 10 book "A Well-Lived Life" and the first three books of "A Well-Lived Life 2" you'll have some difficulty following the story. This is a dialog driven story. The author was voted 'Author of the Year' and 'Best New Author' in the 2015 Clitorides Awards, and 'Author of the Year' in 2017.

Caution: This Coming of Age Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa   Ma/ft   Fa/Fa   Mult   Military   Workplace   Polygamy/Polyamory   First   Slow  

December 29, 1989, Colerain Township and Milford, Ohio

It was Friday morning. We’d arrived at Donna Grossi’s house the previous afternoon, and once I had Jessica, Kara, and the kids settled, Elyse and I put Matthew and Michael in my BMW and headed for her parents’ house in Glen Este. Because of a minor change to our plans, my dad had driven down with my mom, so that only Abbie and my sister were with me in my car. Because of space considerations, Abbie and Stephanie were staying in two rooms in the main house, while my family, including Jennifer, Josie, and Jesse, had the run of the guest house. After dropping off Elyse and the kids, I’d gone back to Donna Grossi’s.

After breakfast, we relaxed with coffee. The interment was at 1:00pm, so we’d have an early lunch before we left. Around 9:30am, I excused myself to call the office.

“Hi, Keri, any messages?”

“No messages, but Dave and Julia had their baby last night. Nicholas George Kallas was born at 10:02pm. Julia and the baby are just fine.”

“Send flowers, please,” I said.

“Kimmy already took care of it. Dave called her at home last night to let her know the news because he was sure you or Elyse would call in at some point.”

“Thank Kimmy for me, and thank you both for running things while we’re all away.”

“I’ll do that! We’ll see you on Monday.”

“Thanks, Keri.”

I hung up the phone and went back to where everyone was sitting and told them the good news.

“A boy?” Jesse said. “Nicholas? Like Aunt Befany’s baby?”

That was another ‘Jesse-ism’. ‘Befany’ was like ‘Chess’ and would probably never change.

“Yes, Jesse. A boy.”

“Good! Another boy! Yes!” he said, sounding triumphant.

“It won’t help,” Josie said with a smirk. “His sister has him well in hand.”

“Yes she does,” Kara giggled. “Just like we do Steve!”

Jennifer laughed, “But it’s taken five of us almost full-time with help from Kathy and Bethany and some other girls along the way! Birgit is doing it by herself! With four brothers and Peter!”

“She’s like her mom in many ways,” I said.

“And her dad,” Kara said with a smile.

“Look out world!” Jennifer said, causing everyone to laugh.

We had our early lunch, and then got everyone into the cars to head to Greenlawn Cemetery in Milford. As we pulled up to the site, I saw a team of sailors with rifles, one with a bugle, and a large contingent of Naval officers. I parked behind my parents’ car and the girls parked the minivan behind me, and Jennifer parked behind them. We gathered together and then walked towards the gravesite. I saw Larry and Drew, Kathy and Kurt, and Elyse standing in a small group, so we went to stand near them.

After exchanging subdued greetings with Larry and Drew, we stood quietly waiting for the service to start. Fortunately, the weather was much warmer than in Chicago. It was nearly 40°F, and there was no wind. Everyone was bundled up, but nobody looked cold, and as most of us had come from Chicago, we’d seen a 50°F increase in temperature which made it feel like a heat wave. Bethany arrived, escorted by Howard, was wearing a black dress and carrying Nicholas. Howard walked her to the grave site and she sat on a blanket-covered chair with Nick’s parents next to her and Howard standing behind her.

At precisely 1:00pm, a Navy chaplain gave a short benediction, and then asked Howard to say a few words. He reprised his eulogy, though it was somewhat shorter than the one he’d given at Great Lakes, and then nodded to Karl who did the same. When they finished, the chaplain led everyone in the Lord’s Prayer, and then stepped aside. With a nod from a Captain, the lieutenant in charge of the rifle detail gave the commands and three volleys of rifle shots rang out, each one punctuating the silence, and jarring me to my core.

It only got worse when, at a distance of about 100 feet from where we were standing, a bugler, standing alone, began playing Taps. If the rifle shots had been jarring, Taps was a karate strike to the chest, causing my heart to flutter, my stomach to turn, and my head to spin. My friend Nick was dead. And worse, my best friend was a widow at age twenty-six. I felt someone take my arm to steady me, and through glassy eyes I saw it was Elyse.

“You OK?” she whispered.

“No,” I croaked. “I’m not.”

“Hang in there, Steve,” Jessica said from the other side of me, as she took hold of my other arm, and the words associated with Taps came to mind.

While the light fades from sight,
And the stars gleaming rays softly send,
To thy hands we our souls, Lord, commend.

By the time the last note rang out, tears were streaming down my face. I watched as a team of sailors removed the flag from Nick’s coffin, and quickly and expertly folded it. The senior man on the team handed the flag to Karl who was Nick’s superior, who then brought the flag to Bethany and handed it to her.

“On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Navy, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for Nick’s honorable and faithful service.”

Bethany accepted the flag, and put it on her lap. And at that point, I saw the first tear drip down her face. She’d held it together, at least in public, until the very last moment. People began filtering away, most stopping to touch the coffin. The military men were the last to leave, with Karl escorting Bethany towards the waiting car. She stopped, whispered something to him, handed Nicholas to Ginny, and then walked back to me.

“Come with me,” she said softly.

I held out my arm and she looped hers around mine. She directed me away from where everyone was standing and we began walking.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

“I suppose so, but I’m worried about you. I know you well enough that I’m afraid of what’s going on inside that thick skull of yours.”

“Bethany, you need to worry about yourself and Nicholas right now,” I said.

“I have lots of people to help me, including you. But you can’t help if you shut down or lose control. I need you, Steve. Now more than ever. But differently. Do you understand?”

Did I understand? I thought I did. Trying to return to a relationship such as we’d had before she was with Nick, or before I’d proposed to my wives, was fraught with danger. The question was, could I handle that kind of relationship? ‘Old Steve’ certainly wouldn’t have been able to. At the slightest hint, he’d have made love with Bethany, and in the process wrecked everything. ‘New Steve’ couldn’t do that. Not now. Maybe not ever.

“I think so,” I said slowly.

“Do you? Really?”

“You need my friendship, companionship, and love. But not like it used to be. Not like before.”

“No, it can never be like it used to be. If we did that, we’d ruin everything for everyone and neither of us wants that result.”

“No, we don’t ... Sweetheart,” I said.

Bethany looked over and smiled, “That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now, meant the way you meant it.”

“Good. What will you do?”

“Finish getting settled at my parents’ house. It’s a bit strange moving back into my old room. Nicholas is going to take the spare bedroom.”

“And then?” I asked.

“Practice. I need to get licensed in Ohio, but it’s not too difficult based on my education and my Illinois license. I already talked to Fran about working with her until I get licensed. I might actually work with her longer. We’ll see.”

“Fran? As in Doctor Mercer?” I asked.

Bethany nodded, “Yes. It’s a bit tricky because I was a patient of hers, but we’ll work it out.”

“When did you arrange this?” I asked.

“I went to see her yesterday after we arrived. I called her from Guam a couple of times to talk. Are you really OK, Steve?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “The salute and Taps were just overwhelming. It was as if a switch was about to flip and turn off the power.”

Bethany nodded, “That’s why I called Doctor Mercer. When they came to tell me Nick had been shot, I was upset, obviously. And when they told me he wasn’t going to make it, I broke down for a bit. When it came time to disconnect the machines, I called Fran, and then I basically shut down. I turned off all my emotions, everything. All I cared about was Nicholas. The Navy did everything else for me, for which I’m grateful. Don’t shut down, Steve.”

“I haven’t been writing,” I confessed. “I wrote to try to make sense of the world and this just blows that all to smithereens.”

“Don’t give up on that. Finding meaning is important. I have Nicholas now, and I have to be there for him. He’s the meaning of my life at the moment. You have your wives, Elyse, Jennifer, and all the kids, not to mention your business and your friends. Find your meaning there and let the world worry about itself. You can’t shoulder the entire burden. Way smarter people than you have tried and failed.”

“Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?” I asked.

“Morons,” she said, completing the line from The Princess Bride. “But you know what I mean.”

“Yes, philosophers have struggled with the question for several millennia now.”

“So why do YOU have to be the one to solve it? Why do you think you can solve it?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Don’t shut down,” she said sharply. “Don’t. Go back to writing.”

“I just can’t, Sweetheart. Not now.”

We slowly made our way back to where Karl and Ginny were waiting with Nicholas. Bethany and I hugged, and she kissed me on the cheek, then took her son back from Ginny and they made their way to the car.

“How is she?” Kathy asked.

“Better than I am,” I said. “For the moment. I think it’ll all hit her now that the ceremonies are over and she has to get on with her life.”

“Any idea what she’ll do?” Kara asked.

I smiled, “She’s already talked to Doctor Mercer about working with her until she can get licensed in Ohio.”

“Already?” Kurt asked, surprised. “Wow.”

“That’s Bethany,” Jennifer said. “She always had her plans and didn’t let adversity get in her way.”

“So what now?” Jessica asked.

“Now we go back to Donna Grossi’s house and relax. Donna Grossi is making us dinner. Tomorrow we have lunch with Larry, Drew, Jake, and Joyce. Afterwards, we’re going to see Paul and Nancy with the kids, and then going out to dinner with them. Elyse will be with her parents. I’m not sure what Jennifer and Josie are doing.”

“We’re going out with Larry and Drew,” Jennifer said. “Jesse is going with you, if that’s OK.”

“It’s always OK! Where are you guys headed?”

“No idea yet,” Larry said. “We’ll figure something out.”

We made our way to the cars, and before I got in, I went to talk to my dad.

“The plan is still to leave Sunday morning,” I said. “We’ll come by Mason to get you so that Mom doesn’t have to drive over to Colerain Township.”

“Nonsense! That adds nearly two hours in the car for the kids. Your mother will drive me over to Colerain Township.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

December 31, 1989, Chicago, Illinois

“You’re still having the New Year’s Eve party?” my sister asked.

“Yes, it’s a tradition, and quite a few people would be disappointed if we didn’t. I don’t feel like having a party, but my friends need it, so we’re doing it.”

“They’d understand, Son,” my dad said.

“Yes, they would. But I have to do this. We talked this morning in the car on the way home about how I’m feeling.”

“Maybe you need to see someone,” Stephanie said. “Maybe that guy you saw here when you were having some issues.”

“Doctor Alborg? He was OK, but there was something that just didn’t click. Our marriage counselor, Doctor Green, is a great guy and I like him, but he’s a relationship counselor. I guess I’d have to find someone else.”

“What about that woman you saw back in Milford?” my dad asked. “She helped you quite a bit when you were younger.”

I nodded, “Yes, she did. But I can’t think about this right now. Elyse and I have so much to do for tonight. Are you still going to do the shopping, Squirt?”

“Yes. Abbie and Katy are going with me. We’ll leave in a bit. Katy took stock of the liquor cabinets and I have the list you gave me for food. OK to take the minivan?”

“Yes. And, thanks,” I said.

Elyse, Kara, Jessica, and I got to work preparing the house for the party. Sofia and Stavros arrived late in the afternoon to help with food preparation. I also confirmed with her that she was going to read «Nyårsklockan». Around 8:00pm our guests began to arrive, and it hit me that Bethany and Nick wouldn’t be at the party. All the emotional feelings came roaring back so I went to my study and shut the door. I sat at my desk, taking deep breaths, trying to keep it together.

I thought about why I was feeling the way I was, and while the loss of a friend hurt, Bethany’s loss made me hurt for her. The senselessness of the entire situation weighed heavily on me. I stared at my Mac, wondering if I should try to write in my journal, but I couldn’t. There was nothing to write. Sure, I could pour out my angst, but that wouldn’t help me answer the myriad of questions swirling in my mind, most of which began with ‘Why?’ and appeared to have no answers.

“Tiger?” I heard Jessica say as she and Kara came into my study.

“Sorry,” I said. “I was just thinking about Bethany and Nick not being here and I needed some time alone. I’ll come out now.”

“We’re worried about you,” she said.

“I know,” I sighed. “I just can’t wrap my head around this and that’s just making things worse. And I can’t write.”

“That’s not good, Snuggle Bear,” Kara said. “Maybe you should see Doctor Alborg to get some help.”

I shook my head, “No. He’s not the right person. I talked to my dad about this earlier. He suggested Doctor Mercer. But that’s tough because she’s in Milford. Let’s forget this now and attend to our guests.”

The party came off well, despite my mood, and we had something to actually celebrate - two things, actually. Poland had officially ended ‘state socialism’ in favor of a capitalist system, and had withdrawn from the Warsaw Pact. The Cold War was effectively over. And, more importantly, close to home, Sofia announced that she was pregnant.

January 1, 1990, Chicago, Illinois

“Do you have some time to talk?” I asked Abbie after lunch on New Year’s Day.

“Sure. Always. The ‘Indian’ room? Your study?”

“Your room, if that’s OK,” I said.

She smiled, “Always. You don’t come see me very often.”

We walked upstairs to her room, and I pointed to the loveseat, not the bed.

“I thought...” she said.

I smiled, “Yes, but I need to explain first.”

“Explain what? That you’re hurting? That you’re confused? That you talk better after sex? Those things are pretty obvious. I have known you for nearly a year now.”

“Yes, you have,” I said with a smile.

“Then come make love to me and we can talk afterwards.”

I got up and took her in my arms. We exchanged a very soft, French kiss, and carefully undressed each other. There was no rush, just a slow progression towards a very fulfilling act of intimacy. Usually, Abbie and I had very athletic encounters, but not this time. This time she was as soft and loving as any girl I’d ever met, because she understood that’s what I needed.

The previous night, Kimmy had taken me aside around 10:30pm. We couldn’t make love, given her relationship status, but we could have a very intimate talk. She’d let Gary know that she needed to talk to me, and he’d agreed. We talked for about ten minutes and she did her best to help me cheer up. She’d also encouraged me to talk to someone just as my dad and wives had done earlier in the day.

When Abbie and I finished, I pulled her into my usual cuddling position, though the metal in her nipple created a strange sensation in my side.

“You’re struggling with all the death that seems to surround you,” Abbie said without prompting.

“Yes,” I sighed. “In the last twelve years or so, Birgit, Don Joseph, Stephie, and now Nick. And before that, even though I didn’t know him, Jim McGrath.”

“Who was that?”

“A soldier who was killed in Vietnam. I was an altar boy at his funeral. He’s actually buried in that same cemetery. Years later, his widow was my first.”

“And they all affected you this way?”

“Each one was different,” I said. “Except for the fact that the person is gone.”

“This is what we talked about back in Albany,” she said. “Your worldview against mine. And you’re still not ready to accept mine. I’m not sure you ever will be, or that you should be. It’s not you. Despite all your external negativity, you’re an optimist at heart. You always expect the good. And when it doesn’t happen, your spirit is crushed.”

She had more or less cut through all the externals and hit on the true issue. But I didn’t want to be a pessimist and always expect the worst. That might work for Abbie, who was surprised when things went right, but it wasn’t me. I couldn’t live my life that way. I felt the world was doing its best to beat the optimism out of me, at least with regard to life. My family life was very good and so were my business and karate.

The problem was that death hovered around me; a specter floating in the ether, ready to pounce without warning. It could take anyone, at any time, with no warning. I wondered who would be next. And when. And I worried about how I’d react and how it would affect me. It wasn’t a question of ‘if’ but a question of ‘when’. And what about me? I couldn’t envision dying, not just now, but ever. Intellectually, I knew it happened to everyone and it was unavoidable. But I hadn’t internalized it. I didn’t know that I could.

“You have a point,” I said.

“And according to the girls, you shut down in those situations,” Abbie said. “Well, not just those, but certainly those. They say you’re better this time than before.”

“I don’t know about that. I never decided to just quit writing in my journal before.”

“So why did you?”

“Because it was my place for figuring out the world. Trying to make sense of it. This proves to me that the world doesn’t make sense.”

“And yet?” she asked.

“I can’t live my life like that.”

“If you can’t resolve this, you’re going to drive yourself crazy.”

“It’s going to be an extremely short drive,” I replied, agreeing with her.

“So now what?” Abbie asked.

“I don’t know. I need to find a philosophical way forward. I just don’t know what it is.”

“Is there anyone who can help you?”

“That’s the same question that everyone is asking and I keep coming to the same conclusion - a psychologist back in Milford.”

“Then go see her. Take a few days off work and go.”

“Perhaps that’s the best solution. I’ve heard that now from four people with very different outlooks on life.”

“Can I ask for something?”

“Sure. What?”

“Come see me more often, please. I mean, obviously within whatever Jessica and Kara are OK with.”

“I will,” I said.

January 3, 1990, Milford, Ohio

“I was surprised to hear from you after all these years, but I suppose it made sense for you to call me, given what happened. How have you been?”

“Since the last time we talked?” I said with a smile. “I could write a novel, except I don’t feel like it at this point. I saw you at the interment, but I didn’t have a chance to say ‘hello’ because Bethany took me aside.”

“I saw that. I have a question for you - have you been keeping your journal?”

“I’m not sure I can at this point. I used it to try to make sense of the world, but now, after everything that’s happened, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Which is why you’re here. But why me? Why now?”

“Because I came this close,” I said, holding my thumb and forefinger a millimeter apart, “to shutting down. I’d have destroyed everything. And I knew you would understand. And that you could help.”

“Write, Steve. It’s important. It’s cathartic. All those things you can’t let out to anyone else for whatever reason, write them down. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself crazy.”

“Isn’t that why I’m here?” I asked with a wry smile.

“You aren’t crazy. You’re human. Nobody can go through something like this without being affected.”

“It makes even less sense than what happened with Birgit. Or Stephie.”

“Tell me about Stephie.”

“That would take a LONG time. I suppose we can do that, eventually, but the short version is I loved her very much, and she died of cancer a couple of years ago.”

“May I be totally honest and frank with you?” Doctor Mercer asked.

“Of course.”

“I don’t know what to say. Of all the crazy things in the world, this thing with Nick makes absolutely no sense to me and I don’t know that it ever will. It’s completely senseless. In fact, it’s the very definition of ‘senseless violence’.”

I nodded, “It’s strange. I can understand what happened with Birgit. And with Stephie. A storm. Cancer. Sure. But this? No. I can’t abide by nihilism or existentialism, and I’m not convinced that there is a god, or any gods. I’ll be damned if I can find any meaning in all of this.”

“There is nothing in your life that gives it meaning? Nothing at all? I don’t believe that.”

“My kids,” I said, then chuckled, “and my wives. Our song at our wedding was You’re The Inspiration by Chicago. Do you know that one?”

She nodded, “Your wives and your kids, THEY give meaning to your life. Well, work with that. Don’t try to find any larger meaning than being a good husband, a good father, and a good friend.”

“That’s not what I expected to hear you say!”

“Remember, I don’t have the answers. Your answers have to come from inside yourself.”

I sighed, “Which is what I’ve told quite a few people over the years.”

“So take your own advice. Don’t give up your quest; just don’t expect to find clear, unambiguous answers.”

“Wonderful,” I said with a deep sigh.

“Let’s start with what happened when you first heard the news...”

We were interrupted by a soft knock on the door and I’d barely turned around when it opened.

“What are YOU doing here?” I asked, surprised at who walked into the room.

“We need to do this together,” Bethany said, moving to sit by Doctor Mercer.

“But...” I protested.

“How can I do this after what happened? This is part of me getting through it. You and I can help each other the way we always have, but we have to keep our feelings for each other in check.”

“Doctor Mercer, could you leave us alone?” I asked.

“Bethany?” Doctor Mercer queried.

“Yes, please.”

Doctor Mercer nodded and left her office. I held out my arms and Bethany came to me. I helped her sit on my lap and held her.

“Cry, Sweetheart. You need to.”

And she did. She sobbed for twenty minutes before she finally got some semblance of control. I cried softly as well, though my body wasn’t wracked by sobs like hers was.

“Thanks,” she said.

She got up and went over to Doctor Mercer’s desk and grabbed a handful of tissues to wipe her face and blow her nose. She came back to sit next to me on the couch, and handed me a clean tissue to wipe my own tears. This time, rather than sit in my lap, we simply sat side-by-side and held hands.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “You’re the only person I could do that with. You need to do something for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Write in your journal. Even if you can’t find answers, it’ll help. You need to pour out all the angst somewhere, and that’s the best place. It always has been. Doctor Mercer knew that years ago when she asked you to start keeping it. You’ve been pretty faithful over the years.”

“I only stopped a few times, and that was usually when things were going well. I wrote the equivalent of thirty pages or so when Stephie died, trying to make sense out of everything I was feeling and thinking.”

“And now?”

“I think I’ve come face to face with my own mortality and I don’t like it.”

Bethany nodded, “That had to come. Often it comes very late in life. Sometimes, like your friend Abbie, it comes very early. You’ve fought it tooth and nail since that day when Melanie told you about Birgit. Now I think you’re ready.”

“And what? I die and then what?” I asked.

“You once told me about the Russian Orthodox hymn for the departed that says ‘memory eternal’. That’s what. You live on through Jesse, Birgit, Matthew, Michael, and Albert. And the son or daughter Kara is carrying. And a future son or daughter by Jessica. And their kids. And theirs. They’ll pass on your memory. That’s something you can know and that you can count on. It’s a sure thing.”

“The way I remember Birgit, and Don Joseph, and Stephie. And the way we’ll all remember Nick.”

“You even named a daughter after Birgit. You understand how it works.”

“Kara wants to call our baby ‘Stephie’ if it’s a girl.”

Bethany smiled, “You and Kara were destined for each other from the start. We just didn’t know it. She’s your true soulmate; you realize that, don’t you?”

“I actually think it’s Elyse when it comes right down to it. She knew it when she asked me to marry her back in the fall of 1981 not long after we moved to Chicago. But I think she also knew I didn’t see it that way. Not then. Not until it was too late, so to speak. But we’ve come to a very, very good place and as far as I can tell, we’re both very happy with the situation between us.”

“Maybe so,” Bethany said. “But Kara is the perfect woman for you. I didn’t see it back in High School, because she was still caught in that silly evangelical trap. But that wasn’t really her and never has been. You told me that her mom called her a truly free spirit, and she is. More than any of your other girls, she’s the most comfortable with you, and with her situation. She’s even forgiven you for Becky. Twice. I’m not sure I could have done that.”

“I wasn’t sure that she could, but in the end, she saw it for what it was - the end. I told you Jennifer said it had been coming for eight years, but that we managed to wait until the exact right time when it could happen, we could end things between us, and I could move on. But we’re talking too much about me.”

“There isn’t much to talk about,” Bethany said. “You just gave me the thing I needed most. How long are you in town?”

“Until Sunday. I took the week off.”

“Come home with me. Not for sex. But for comfort. I need you. Just to hold me. Can you do that?”

“For you? Anything. I mean it.”

She nodded, “Call and ask Jessica and Kara. Make sure they understand it for what it is.”

“Does Doctor Mercer approve of this?” I asked with a smile.

“About as much as she approved of us having sex the first time,” Bethany said with a smile.

“That’s what I thought.”

“She told me that she has you down for 7:00am Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.”

“Yes. I do need to talk this out with her. The mortality thing, I mean.”

“Good. Do you know why I came home?”

“To be with your parents and get their help while you sorted things out.”

“Yes, that was a secondary reason. My first thought was to ask you if I could move in with you. And that would have been a disaster. You’d have spent all your time helping me and neglected everything else, and I would have clung to you. We couldn’t let that happen.”

“No, we couldn’t,” I said.

“You’ve grown up, Steve. You are steadily becoming the man I knew you could be years ago. It’s just taken a lot of adversity, quite a bit of it of your own making, but quite a bit from things beyond your control.”

“And now I need to fix myself,” I said.

“Just as you helped fix all those broken girls over the years, especially Jennifer, but Kara, Melanie, Kathy, and me. And now Abbie. There were others, too, but those are the ones who stand out in my mind.”

“So how do I do that?” I asked.

“Get your mind straight. Talk with Doctor Mercer, your wives, and Elyse. And write. Write everything.”

“And you?” I asked.

“You’ve dealt with loss. You know what’s necessary. Doctor Mercer will help, and so will my family. And so will working. But most importantly, I have Nicholas. And you.”

“I’m in Chicago,” I said.

“There’s this marvelous invention called the telephone,” she smirked. “I assume you’ve heard of it?”

“I have.”

“And it’s not that far. I’m not hiding from you. I’m keeping a safe distance.”

“And sleeping in the same bed with you?”

“I trust you to keep me safe.”

I thought about everything she’d said to me over the years. She was right and I knew it. I just had to make sure that knowledge kept my emotions in check, and that I didn’t violate her trust, or the trust of my wives, in any way.

“Because I’m aware that you are in no state of mind to give consent and you’ve taught me about that.”

She nodded, “There is no other man on the planet that can do for me what you can do for me right now.”

“Then I will. Should I call now?”

She nodded and pointed to the phone on Doctor Mercer’s desk. I got up and walked over to it and dialed home. Katy answered and I asked for Kara.

“Hi, Snuggle Bear. How are you?”

“Good. Someone crashed my counseling session today.”

“Bethany?”

“Yes. She sat in my lap and cried for about fifteen minutes while I held her. I’m calling for permission to stay with her. Intimate, but no sex. And I mean that.”

“May I speak with her, please?”

“Sure, one sec,” I said, then moved the handset away from my face towards Bethany. “She wants to talk to you.”

Bethany got up from the couch and walked over to the desk. She took the handset from me, and I heard only one side of the conversation.

“Hi, Kara ... Yes ... Absolutely ... No ... Yes ... I will ... Thanks.”

She handed me the receiver.

“It’s OK with me, Snuggle Bear. Are you going to call Jess?”

“Yes. As soon as we hang up. I’ll be home on Sunday afternoon.”

“I love you!” she said brightly. “Take good care of her.”

“I will. And I love you, too.”

I pressed the switch hook and then dialed the number for the ER. I asked for Jessica and was fortunate that she was available.

“Hi, Babe,” I said.

“How are you?”

“Good. I talked a bit with Doctor Mercer but then Bethany kind of crashed our counseling session. And that was OK. I’ll have plenty of time the next three days to talk to Doctor Mercer.”

“That’s a bit on the strange side, but with you, it’s always strange! How is she?”

“How do you think? She sat in my lap and cried for a long time.”

“And?” Jessica asked.

“And I’m calling for permission to stay with her. No sex, Babe, I promise. She just needs me, as I’m sure you can imagine. She says there really isn’t anyone else who can help her like I can right now.”

“I’ll bet!” Jessica laughed.

“No, not that. And I’m deadly serious. That’s not going to happen because she’s in no state to consent. Even if she asked, it would be the emotion and sense of loss asking, not Bethany. So no. Period.”

“Then go with her, Tiger. Help her as best you can. We’ll see you Sunday, right?”

“Yes. And thanks. I love you!”

“I love you too, Tiger.”

We hung up and I turned back to Bethany.

“All set. I’ll need to drive over to Colerain Township to get my things. Do your parents know about this plan?”

“I talked to my dad and explained it the best I could. He was skeptical, but in the end he said it was OK. Mom forbade it, but I don’t care.”

“Are you really sure about this? I don’t want to cause stress at your house.”

“You won’t. With my dad’s blessing, it’ll be fine. Besides, my mom likes you and I’m sure I’ll hear about how I made the wrong decision at some point.”

“That better not happen in my presence, because I’ll shut her down so fast she won’t know what hit her.”

Bethany smiled, “I know.”

“I forgot to ask, what is Ed doing? He graduated last June, right?”

“Yes. He got a job as an assistant to the Director of Planning for Batavia. He’s living at home for now, but eventually he’ll get his own place. Did you see him together with your sister at the funeral and interment?”

“No, actually, I didn’t. I was too focused on you and everything else that was going on to notice.”

“He’s going up to Chicago to see her in a few weeks.”

“Now that’s an interesting development,” I said.

There was a soft knock at the door and Doctor Mercer re-entered her office.

“Sorry, but my next client will be here in about five minutes. Steve, are you coming in tomorrow morning as we discussed?”

“Yes, I am. Thanks for today, it was helpful. Both before and after you left us. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Good.”

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours, Sweetheart.”

“Thanks. You can’t even begin to imagine how much I appreciate it.”

“I’m just paying forward what Jennifer and others did for me when something like this happened to me.”

We exchanged a quick hug, she kissed me on the cheek, and I left Doctor Mercer’s office to head back to Donna Grossi’s house.

Chapter 4 »

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