Valerie Winsor hums along to the radio while washing-up in the kitchen and can hear them both playing boisterously together behind her.
Jessica is squealing with delight as Dan romps with her on the floor; which is so reminiscent of Valerie’s of own childhood with him as a schoolgirl.
Now it was Jessica who was the apple of his eye.
But Valerie would always guard against feeling any jealousy against her daughter.
Staring out at the darkness through the window she recalled romping with Dan just the same; his laugh, his sensuous fondle, his biceps and his physical warmth; he had enraptured her. Their evening romps together before bedtime became something she looked forward to after coming in from school.
When he came in from work she would jump into hi arms to be kissed and caressed.
But Valerie also recalled how that carefree sensuality had been crippled by her mother’s malice.
One evening as they’d romped around on the carpet with her dad’s fingers probing all her ticklish spots, mother had entered the room and had spoken with such a sudden icy spite... ‘Stop it the both of you! Get off him Valerie! You should be past this sort of thing now my girl!’
Mother’s face had been red with anger.
In that instance Valerie knew what was implied; their activity was no longer decent; not for a pubescent girl who’s knickers were sticky with desire; who’s father’s boner was near to bursting.
Something precious had been replaced by a guilt complex.
It had also induced a deep sense of shame into Valerie’s sexuality.
The romping downstairs had ceased; replaced for a short while at least, with stolen moments when Dan came into her bedroom; to tuck her in and say goodnight; and she discovered how fabulous his cock was.
But mother had put a stop to that also.
All Valerie had then was a masturbatory version of them being together; because Dan had left home for a job abroad.
Later in life, when she’d ventured into sex with her fiancée, Valerie discovered that only a guilt-ridden fantasy of her father Dan, allowed her to climax with another man.
For Valerie sex was a cocktail which included a shot of Dan and a shot of shame and she sometimes wondered if Dan ever yearned for her in the same way?
But that was a bedroom secret she’d hid from her husband James when lovemaking.
He had always been blissfully unaware of it; right up to his death in a fatal road accident a year ago.
On learning about James dying, Dan had rung Valerie from Melbourne to offer her his condolences.
But he’d never made any indication of the lust he’d once had for her.
Instead he’d conceded how lonely his life was in the god-forsaken land of Australia and how he’d dreamed of retuning to the paradise that was England; to live with the only family he had in the world.
This had been enough to stir Valerie’s dormant desires of Dan.
Valerie’s Tale :
I’m humming along to the radio while washing-up in the kitchen and can hear them both playing boisterously together behind me.
Jez is squealing with delight as Dan romps with her on the floor which is so reminiscent of my own childhood with him. Now Jez is the apple of his eye but I must always guard against any Jealousy.
While I stare into the darkness of the window I become aware of the reflection that’ s before me; of the two of them on the floor behind me. I smile at the quirk of it, like watching a hidden camera. Jez is squirming on the floor underneath Dan.
Kneeling over her, he’s tickling her first on the neck then the waist. She’s in convulsions, legs kicking out against the delightful torture, her white thighs flashing, her school dress skewed up past her knickers.
The tickling fingers work from her waist down into her thighs and suddenly I’m transfixed; my heartbeat the only sound I’m aware of.
I watch his finger stroking slowly over her thighs and into the crouch of her knickers.
Now she’s ceased squirming; she’s motionless.
As her thighs begin parting, her brown eyes, shaded with uncertainty yet knowing, lift to meet Dan’s lustful gaze. His fingers are sliding inside her gusset.
Flicking off the radio I snap the moment back to reality; calling at them over my shoulder.
‘OK Jez, lets start getting ready for bedtime! you can begin by brushing those teeth’.
Coming into the kitchen and pulling strait her dress Jez complains; ‘Oh Mom! I’m thirteen! It’s early yet!’
‘I’m afraid so Jez’, I say, ‘its school in the morning.’
Dan follows in behind her boyishly trying to hide his boner, ‘Can I give you a hand with anything Val?’
Turning my head, I take a look at Jez;; her dark brown shoulder-length hair; her vibrant expression; the small twin peaks declaring her dress to small, she was nearly beautiful and she should now be wearing a bra!
I gaze back through the window to hide my emotions;That fleeting image of her responding to his touch had so aroused me. I wanted just a little more proof of how far he would go with my daughter.
I answered Dan deceitfully, “It would help if you could read her bedtime story for me Dad.”
‘Yea, that’ll be good!’ cries Jez; and she turns and heads upstairs with Dan in her wake.
My mind is in turmoil. What made me suggest he read her a story in her bedroom for heavens sake?
I fill the kettle and busy myself clearing away the washing-up, with guilty questions nagging me;
Am I fantasising over my old yearnings for Dan?
Why are you trusting Dan with Jez when you know full well what he was like?
Now I felt ashamed at my thoughts!
Just what did I expect them to be doing together?
Easy, said my conscience, simply creep upstairs and see for yourself Val!
As I place down her school blazer I see my hands are trebling at that very prospect.
Silently, I make my to the landing by Jez’s bedroom;
I can hear Dan’s deep soft voice reading from the storybook.
The door is ajar and I peek through the crack.
Jez is in bed and appears to be nearly asleep.
Dan is sat by her bedside, methodically reading to her while holding the book on his lap.
Self doubt begins creeping up within me; was mother right about me?
But suddenly I’m elated at what I see!
Dan’s other hand is under the blanket exploring Jez’s parted thighs and her little pink tongue runs pensively over her top lip as Dan’s finger finds her swollen clitoris!
Jez was a normal girl; coming of age and discovering sex safely at home; just as I once had.
Except I had been made to feel dirty about it for years after.
But not any more. Now I know that my man is still lusty for sex, I will claim him back to satisfy the longing he left in me.
I felt certain now that he would have little choice but to please me.
Without disturbing them I go to my bedroom, lock the door.
Slipping off my skirt and pants, I lie back on my bed and biting hard on my pillow, quickly frig myself up to a heavy climax while the pillow soaks up my animal cry of passion.