Chapter 4

The following days she found herself anxious with her decision. She kept going back to whether or not she could do it. And most troubling to her was whether she was a good person or not. She had a great difficulty resolving how she saw herself, how she was before she met Vince, how she was today, and how she would be tomorrow after did what she was planning to do.

In the grand scheme of things if she was going to do this, was it going to be for a short period of time, like long enough get enough money to pay the tax she owes, or would she do it longer, to pay the rent and afford better things for Dylan and her? Or to plan for his future?

And, if she did this thing for only a short time would she be a bad person? What about if she did it for a long time? What if Dylan found out? Would he hate her or would he see that this was the only way that they could survive?

When do you go from being a working mother to being a whore? What is the line that you cross? And does it matter the reason?

She is a good person. So when does she become a bad person?

She also was dealing with Jim, or more to the point not dealing with him because since they had the talk, he has not been over to see her. Which hurt her, somewhat.

She was counting on Jim to talk to his friends and find some that would appreciate her company. If he couldn’t come through, then the whole plan would fail, and walking the streets was NOT going to happen. So she needed him. Desperately.

Sunday evening as she was getting dinner ready, there was a knock on the door, it was Jim.

“Sorry that I haven’t been around, I had something to do, and, things to think over.”

“You had me a little worried.”

“Yeah. Anyway, I want to talk with you about this thing you want to do, and, I want to make sure you’ve thought this all the way through. Because, once you do this, there’s no taking it back, you know, cheat at cards and you’ll always be a cheater.”

Trying to break the tension she said, “Well, I’ve heard it as suck one cock and you’ll always be a cock sucker.”

He laughed, “Me too. Me too.”

“I’ll be honest Jim, I have thought a lot about it and, nothing I come up with has been able to stop me from moving forward with it. I can look back at the things that I’ve done, and nothing in them screams out at me that I’ve done anything wrong. Well except for going to Gordon for help. And, the choices are not as difficult as I once thought they were. I need to do this for Dylan and I, so we could live better lives than we do today.”

“Doing what you are thinking of doing is NOT an easy choice.”

“Only when you look at it as one thing, when you put it all together and see what you are getting, it makes sense. I know that sounds crazy, but look at it this way, sex for money by itself is wrong, but there is a purpose driving this, and we would be far better off by me doing this than not doing this. Plus, I can increase his chances of moving up in this world, giving him a better life than what I had.”

“That’s a noble thought, and there might be many a mother who would do what you are trying to do, but that doesn’t make it right. If you do this, what will you tell Dylan? Or, what happens if you don’t and he finds out? How will he feel, knowing that you had to do this thing, for him, that if he wasn’t here you wouldn’t have to do what you are going to do?

“The choice might be easy, but the ramifications won’t be. I feel like a hypocrite when I tell you not to do this. And I know it’s none of my business, but part of me thinks, well knows, that I was the one who gave you the idea. And you’re such a sweet and innocent person in all of this, it drives me crazy that you are in this position.”

“I’ve thought a lot about where I am, Jim, and I am truthful with myself, it has been my own doing. My choices have led me to where I am. The only situation that I had no part of would be the death of Vince and his Mother. Other than that, it’s all me.”

“Well, my part in your story is not my most shinning moment. But I will make it up to you. But, I’m still not sure what you are doing is the right thing to do. This shouldn’t be something that anyone should have as a choice. I mean, you’re nineteen.”

“You don’t think I know that? I do, Jim, and I know it’s a tough decision, but in the end, I know I’m doing what’s best for Dylan and me.”

“Okay. I’ve talked to some of my friends, the ones that I trust the most, and, well, they think I finally lost it, gone bonkers, playing with half a deck and missing all the high cards. So, I thought that, in order for them to believe me, they should meet you so you can tell them that this is real.”

“That sounds good. When would I meet them?”

“In an hour?”

“An hour? So soon?”

“Yeah. They got this, thing, they do on Sunday nights at the Recreation Center, and that ends in about an hour.”

“Okay, I guess that’ll be alright. Where will meet them?”

“That’s the other thing, I couldn’t come up with a place to meet them, and well, since they will be coming here to, you know, that meeting here would be best.”

“I see. Well, the place is clean, so I guess that’s okay.”

“Great. I’ll bring them up when they are done.”

After Jim left she ate and cleaned up quickly before feeding Dylan. Just as she finished feeding him there was a knock on the door, a quick looking at the clock informed her that this should be the guys. So took a deep breath and walked to the door and asked, “Who is it?”

“It’s Jim and some friends.”

She opened the door “Hey Jim, and friends. Come on in.”

With the door opened wide Jim walked in followed by five of his best friends, each she greeted with a hello and a nod of her head. She checked each of them out as they entered, all of them were around the same age as Jim, all thin with receding gray hair. They looked healthy and clean and each smiled at her as the passed by and though looks didn’t matter, none of them were unpleasant.

As the last entered she closed the door and turned to the group of men and said, “Please have a seat.” The had to move the chairs from the kitchen to the front room so everyone could have a place to sit, a room of this small was more than enough for her and Dylan, but having five more people and it was kind of tight, and if you were claustrophobic you probably would be itching to get the hell out of there.

“Hi, I’m Larry Watkins, and I’d like to just cut to the chase, Jimbo here says your in need of money and that you would have sex with us to get that money. Now, is Jimbo here full of shit?”

“Well, you certainly do get right to the point Larry, and Jimbo is not full of shit. He is right, I do need money, so, no need to go further explaining why, but, my misfortune could be lead to your good fortune.”

“Right, so, sex for money?”

“Yes, sex for money.”

“Does it matter if were married?”

“Dammit Adam, she been dead for five years, you ain’t married!”

With a devilish grin he winked at her and looked to Larry saying, “But I was married.”

“Five years ago! Are you sure you don’t have Alzheimer’s?”

“I don’t think so Sam.”

“I’m Larry you dumb ass! Can we get this guy committed?”

Jim jumped in at this point, “Forgive Adam, he’s what we call a pain in the ass.”

She winked at Adam and turned to Larry and said, “You know Larry, it would be best if you could calm down, because, I would hate it if I had to call 911 when we were, you know, intimate.”

She never saw a man turn as red so quickly as every one laughed, not so much at Larry but at Larry being chided by her. But after a bit he smiled and even joined in on the laughter.

“Hi, I’m Scott, and I would like to say it’s been a pleasure seeing you give it to Larry, he can be a pain in the ass as much as Adam by the way. But my question is, what do we get out of this, meaning, well, like, what do we get? As in you know, uhm.” Scott was fine when he started out, but when he got to his question his face began turning a nice shade of light pink, and as he finished he was a nice shade of red.

“Well Scott, as for sexual relations between consenting adults, as long as it doesn’t hurt me or would have the neighbors calling the cops, I’m fine with. There are some rules, respect me, respect my home, condoms are a must, ask before doing, and no means no.”

“So, I get all that, and believe me when I say I hope that we can come to an agreement on all things cause I’d love to ... you know, but what are you looking for to ... you know.”

“Well, I haven’t figured out the cost yet, but think of it as a three tiered approach, Bronze, Silver, and Gold, oral, vaginal, and anal.”

After that, questions were direct and without modesty. When they were done there should be no question as to what they would get, how she should be treated, and what the cost would be. The only question that amused her was when Jim asked when should they start. For a group of men who had just been direct, there was silence. No one wanted to be first.

After some prodding by Jim, Larry said he’d like to be first, so a date was set for tomorrow evening. She looked at Jim questioningly, that was his day but he gave it up so Larry could come over? She didn’t say anything but asked Jim to stay.

As the door closed on the last of her new friends she asked, “So, why is Larry coming on Monday?”

“You should take care of business before you take care of me.”

“I don’t know about you Jim, we had an agreement and you’re changing it on me.”

“It’s no surprise to you that I’m feeling pretty bad on how I’ve, forced, you into having sex with me. And now, now I’ve got my friends coming over to pay you, and I’m not feeling particularly good that, or in the situation you’re in. I feel that WE are taking advantage of you.”

“Jim, you need to stop worrying about that. Why cry over spilled milk! It happened, it’s time to move on. And, don’t forget that if you hadn’t done what you did, I’d be out on the streets, and I wouldn’t be able to pay the taxes, I could say that YOU are the reason that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You have provided me a way of surviving this mess that I alone got myself into.”

He lowered his head, shaking it slowly, “I don’t think that, no matter what you say, will change my mind, so, let’s just agree never to talk about it again. Okay?”

She kissed him on the cheek and hugged him, whispering in his ear, “Okay.”

As he was leaving she asked, “You will be here tomorrow when Larry is here right?”

“What!”

“Please! For the first time?”

“Shit! Okay. But I ain’t watching! Gotta draw the line somewhere.”

She laughed as he closed the door and went back to Dylan. So, that’s it. Tomorrow I’m officially a whore. Life can be very strange sometimes.

Monday evening at 9pm there was a knock on the door, right on time she thought as she got up to let the first John of her life in, as she opened the door to let Jim and Larry in.

Larry being Larry opened up first, “I’m not really open to having sex in front of Jimbo here.”

“I told you it ain’t happening Larry.”

“Sure, sure.” He looked away from Jim to her and asked, “So, he’s leaving, right?”

She looked to Jim who nodded his head yes, but she wasn’t so sure. Quickly she said, “Yes, of course he is. As long as you don’t mind that little Dylan with be with us.”

“Wait, uhm little Dylan? Is that your dog? Or maybe cat?”

She laughed and said, “No, he’s my son.”

He took a step back and asked, “You have a son?”

“Yes. He’s just a baby though, and shouldn’t be much of a bother.”

He looked back at Jim and said, “Uhm, Jimbo, maybe you can watch the kid while we’re, busy?”

Dejected, Jim replied “Sure.”

“Let me get him” she was in the bedroom in a flash and gently picked up a sleeping Dylan and brought him out to the front room and placed him in his playpen. Turning around she went to Larry and took his hand and pulled him to the bedroom, she was getting excited and could feel the wetness between her legs starting to flow. As they walked into the bedroom she guided Larry in as she turned on the light and closed the door.