Chapter 2

After putting Dylan down for bed she gathered up her checkbook and a pad of paper, and sat down at the kitchen table to figure out how she was going to survive without support form Vince.

After going over the numbers she knew she was in trouble and no matter which way she looked at it, she wouldn’t be able to make ends meet. She could either pay the rent or pay for daycare, she couldn’t pay for both. She couldn’t ask Mrs Jackson if she could pay less, she was already paying less than everyone else.

She just wasn’t prepared for life without Vince. He paid the rent and gave her a little extra for, stuff. She was going to miss the money that Vince gave her more than Vince.

She closed her checkbook and sat back, angry with herself. Vince was dead and all she could think of was how that impacted her and Dylan. She felt like shit. Not only for that reason but for getting herself and Dylan into this situation. For now, the future looked pretty bad.

She was on pins and needles the next couple of days, watching out for unknown bad guys out to get her or Dylan. She couldn’t get it out of her mind, and the fear just ate at her. And when she went to the wake for Vince and his Mother, she held Dylan tightly. It did not go unnoticed by her coworkers or Mrs Robinson, who kept a watchful eye on her and Dylan.

Later that night as Dylan lay restless in his crib, she sat down on her couch and flipped channels with no purpose other than mindless entertainment. And as the channels passed from one to next she was startled by a knock on the door.

Her heart began racing as she imagined several thugs on the other side of the door who are waiting for her to open the door and allow them in to do whatever it is that they were sent here to do by whomever was their boss. She sat frozen as another knock was heard. She moved quietly to the phone and was about to pick it up when she heard a voice on the other side of the door, “Kathy, this is Jim, the super.”

Jim Dinks was not only the Super but the landlord. He was a nice guy, always said hello and asked how I was doing while she was pregnant and after added Dylan to his question. He was in his sixties, she guessed, and was in good shape. She rarely saw his wife Margaret, she wasn’t what one would call personable. She was a small woman just about five foot, and never smiled, and if she did talk to you it was to tell you that you did something against the rules or your rent was late. She also had an odd way of talking, almost like yelling but not quite, and using harsh tones and words. It was as if she wanted no friends.

The apartment building was old, about sixty or so years, and resembled the old tenements you’d see in movies from the 1930’s. The apartment she had was small, consisting of a kitchen, living room, bathroom and bedroom, for a total of around 900 square feet.

“Uhm, yes Jim, be right there” she called out.

She stood up gathered herself and let him in.

He stepped in and said softly, “Sorry to be about this late, but I wanted to extend my condolences, on the death of Vince. And his mother.”

She closed the door and said, “Oh, thank you Mr. Dinks.”

“I know you weren’t married, and Vince was his Father, well, a boy needs a father and when you don’t have one it’s tough.”

“Yes, it’ll be tough.”

“Yes, I know. Especially when Vince can’t help with the rent” the last said in a soft voice.

She shifted her weight as she lied, “Well, I, uhm, I have that covered, so nothing to worry about there” she replied with a little laugh.

Jim nodded and replied, “Well, in any case, if things get tough and you’re short, we can always work things out.”

She shifted her weight back and asked, “How?”

And as soon as she said that word he smiled, which made her want to vomit, she knew how, even before he said anything.

“Well, I think you know how, you could, take care of me so to speak. I’d come up, like about this time, and we could get together.”

She felt like she was going to faint as she said softly, “But”

“Taking care of me is better than being out on the street, don’t you think? But it’s all up to you. So, if you would like to live here at reduced rate, or, if you would like to supplement your income, let me know. I know a few guys that would like to help supplement you income.”

Of all the things that had gone wrong, this was by far the worst. She wasn’t a virgin before Vince, but she was not one to sleep around, and had it not been for large amounts of alcohol she never would have slept with Vince.

Holding back tears she asked, “Why are you doing this to me?”

He looked at her quizzically, and said, “Doing what to you? You are in need of help, and I am here to help.”

That answer snapped her out of it as she replied sharply, “That’s not help.”

The softness in his voice was replaced by a tone not of anger or strength but of confidence and ease as he said, “What, not giving you an opportunity to stay here at a reduced rate is not help?”

She felt anger beginning to emerge, “But, you’re asking for, sex.”

He straightened up and replied comely, “Yes, in place of money.”

She looked him in the eyes and said sternly, “But that’s wrong!”

He looked down at the ground and shook his head for a moment before looking her in the eye and comely replied, “I have something you need, and you have something I want. If you think it’s wrong, than you’ll need to find for another place to live.”

Defiantey she replied, “I’ll tell Margaret!”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Let’s not get all nasty about this. And, so you know how it is between me and the wife, she would be more than happy to let you take over the wifely duties. Look, you can’t afford to pay the rent since Vince can’t help you anymore, and I know it stinks, but that’s the way things are. So, think about it, I’ll talk to you on Friday.”

He smiled and said, “I’ll let myself out.”

She sat in silence as Jim left. What has she gotten herself into? What is she going to do?

She got up and went back to the kitchen table and pulled out her check book and bills that she went over earlier and went over them again. She worked over the numbers, moved things around, carefully selected the things she needed and once again found herself in the same situation as before. Not enough money.

She went back again, put all her bills and expenses into a pile, and categorized each as a want or a need. Taking the list of needs first she placed them in order, most important first, and tallied up the numbers. She sighed as she sat back in the chair, the numbers were better but she was still short. Short enough that there was no need to go over the numbers again.

She got up turned off the lights and went to bed sobbing softly until she fell asleep.

The next day she put the previous night out of her mind and focused on the mundane activities before her hoping that she could keep her mind from wandering back to the troubles. It was difficult but as the noon rush ended she had not thought of the troubles she was in, and she kept it that way until late that night when she saw the pad of paper with the list.

After putting Dylan down for the night she went back to the list and went over it again. For the first time she looked at the list from a different perspective, not so much in where she was short in funds, but where she would be if she were to accept Jim’s offer.

He was not a bad looking man, but that had nothing to with whether she took up with him or not. Her decision to accept his proposal was not going to be made by how he looks, her decision would be based on several factors, which she was going to do now.

In some respects it was not about sex, but a matter of what she needed. She had something that he wanted, and he had something she needed. Once again wants versus needs.

It was difficult for her but she removed her feelings from her thoughts and looked at the problem with a cold hard mind. First she categorized sex, it was physical, emotional, fun, and very personal. She began to go over each category one at a time, the “work” of sex did not seem to matter, it wasn’t so much effort that it would impact her life greatly, so that was a non issue.

Now it was on to emotional. That was both easy and difficult. Easy in that she felt nothing for Jim, and would never have a relationship with him other than landlord and tenant, it was only about sex. The hard part of this was emotion and how she would feel about sex with Jim. First, sex in and of itself is great, but is it necessary? For some it is, but for her at this time it wasn’t. She had other things that were, by far, more important than sex, and she rarely thought of sex, or even the need for it.

So it wasn’t the act of sex that was emotional. The bad part of this was being forced into it, that the real choice of living here or on the streets was a decision that no one should ever have to make. And that the deciding point was whether or not you had sex with the landlord just made her, angry. That was the emotional side.

The third category was fun. Yes, sex was fun, and when she had sex she enjoyed it. She didn’t have it now and didn’t miss it. But, maybe it would be fun to have sex on a regular basis? But with Jim? Jim was not fat, or ugly, he was probably a good looking guy when he was younger, like a gazillion years ago. But how he looked didn’t matter in the end, she wasn’t going to decide not to have sex with him based on how he looks.

The last was personal. She did not want to have sex, and she hated that she was in this position! All of her troubles pointed back to one thing, one decision, her decision to go out to a bar drinking with her friend Brenda to celebrate graduating high school. If she had said no, she wouldn’t have gone out, got drunk, had unprotected sex with Vince, get pregnant, and get kicked out of her home by her mother.

Everything that has happened has been personal, everything that went wrong was personal to her, she hated with a passion what people did to her, taking advantage of her, the lack of sympathy, everything just made her so, angry.

The only thing good that came out of this was Dylan. He was everything to her. He was her life and she would do anything for him.

And that was when she her decision was made. It wasn’t about her, or what she wanted, or needed. It was about Dylan. What he needed. He needed a place to live, to be safe, and to have the best life that she could give to him. This she could do for him, would do for him.

The following day was Friday and it was time to tell Jim of her decision. She wasn’t sure how she was going to react to this, she knew what she had to do, but wasn’t in any way shape or form looking forward with what she had to do. There were moments throughout the day where she would need to sit down and catch herself from breaking down and crying.

When the work day was over she picked up Dylan and headed home, knowing what she had to do did not slow her down or cause her worry, that had been worked out of her before hand. She walked with purpose and a quiet dignified strength with the full knowledge that her choice, her decision, was made with the sole purpose of supporting her son, and knowing that she had done, and will do anything to raise her son.

Walking up the stairs onto the landing of the third floor she turned into the corridor and almost ran into Jim.

“Oh, sorry” he said.

“That’s okay” she said shyly.

“I was just at your apartment, I had thought you were home, and wanted to get your answer.”

She walked past him as she said quietly, “Well, I will have to take your offer.”

She couldn’t see him but she knew he had a big grin on his face as he watched her ass as she walked to her apartment. She felt dirty thinking about it, and a small part of her regretted the decision, knew it was wrong to do this but knew it was going to happen.

She stopped at her door and was about to pull out her keys when Jim stepped in front of her and opened the door saying, “Looks like your hands were full.”

She smiled at him and walked in, going into the kitchen to drop off her purse on the counter before coming back into the living room to put Dylan down in his playpen.

As she bent over she felt Jim’s hands cup her ass

“Okay, first off, this, arrangement is NOT 24x7! Second, NOTHING happens, I repeat NOTHING HAPPENS with Dylan in the room or awake in the other. Sex is off the table. Anal sex is off the table. Me nude is off the table. Oral or handjobs are all that you are going to get. And you will be clean, and if you’re not clean it’s a handjob.”

He scrunched his face and asked, “Is that it?”

With as much strength and backbone she could gather she replied, “Yes.”

He nodded his head and said, “Okay” and walked to the door. He opened it and stopped, and after a moment turned back to her and said, “I’ll be placing an ad in the paper tomorrow, please keep the place clean so when people come to see it, people who can pay the rent, they are not turned off by a messy place. Oh, and I expect you to be out by the end of the month.”

Before the door closed she quickly said, “Wait.”

He stopped without looking back asked, “What, a counter offer?”

Dejected she replied, “What do you want?”

He closed the door and turned back to her and said, “You know what I want.”

“I’m not going to be your sex slave” she spat out.

He shook his head no as he replied, “I never said I wanted one.”

She stood firm as she said, “I’m not going to do anything in front of Dylan. Or while he’s awake.”

“I can live with that. But I want sex. Oral is okay, no handjobs, and anal is DEFINATELY not off the table. For now, I’m okay with holding off, but I want to try it.”

She shook her head no, “You can discuss it all you want, but it’s going to be a no. As for sex, once a month, oral all the other times.”

“No, that’s not going to work for me. Once a week for sex, oral all the time, and I get to see you naked. And, I can touch you!”

She must be out of her mind! “Okay. But you must be clean.”

He nodded his head in agreement and said, “I’ll shower here before hand.”

“Shower at your own place.”

“My wife might be okay with what we have going, but, I’m not going to rub it in her face.”

Deflated she responded, “Fine.”

“What time does Dylan go to sleep?”

“He’s usually asleep around 8 o’clock.”

“I’ll be back around 8 then.”

After Jim left she pushed everything out of her mind and got dinner ready for two of them, and afterword’s a bath for Dylan. Bath time was usually a splashfest, with Dylan waving his arms and legs kicking up all the water he could manage but today he was, quiet. Odd she thought to herself, that he was acting this way on a night when she was doing this thing for him. Maybe he knows or senses that something is going to happen? And that he knows that she has to do this thing for him. Or maybe she’s losing her mind and he’s just tired.

The mind is a funny thing she thought to herself as she wrapped him up. Dried, diapered, and nursing a bottle she sat back on the couch and watched TV, until Dylan finished the bottle. A quick burp and he was ready for bed, but she didn’t put him down, not just yet and she sat there holding Dylan in her arms until she heard the knock on the door.

She gently got up and opened the door letting Jim in. She shushed him before he could say anything and pointed him to the bathroom while she took Dylan to her room and placed him in his crib.

Hearing the shower running she quickly removed her clothes and put on her bathrobe, her nerves really starting to show now as her fingers shook as she tied her robe. Hearing the shower stop she quickly left the bedroom and went to the living room and sat nervously on the couch waiting for what was to come next.

The door opened and Jim walked out a towel wrapped around his waist, with a stark bump where his hardon could easily be seen.

“You know, this is going to be good for the two of us.”

She snickered and said “How is that?”

He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well I get a little, and you get a little. We both get satisfied.”

“Sorry to say, but the choice of living on the street beats having unwanted sex.”

He shook his head, “You are missing the point. You’ve made the choice, so all you need to do now is enjoy one of Gods gifts to mankind.”

She laughed and said, “You?”

Dismissing the insult, “No, sex. Listen I know I’m an old fart, nothing great to look at, but I can still get the juices flowing and deliver on a damn good time. So, if you just give it a chance, I know you’ll enjoy it.”

“Right. Anyway, no sex tonight.”

He looked up at her and asked, “Why?”

Finding her backbone, “And no sex until I’m on the pill for at least a month, don’t want to get pregnant.”

“Okay, you don’t want to get pregnant and I don’t want to be a daddy, we are in agreement on that. But, I’m not waiting until your safe to have sex. So how about instead on Monday I bring rubbers, and use those until your safe. How’s that?”

She hadn’t counted on that! Oh well, “Okay, I can agree on that. Oh, and since we are working things out, what is my rent now?”

“Well, your rent is 800 a month, I could knock 400 off of it.”

She placed her hands on her hips and said, “No. That’s not enough. If we are doing it three times a week, and there’s like four weeks in a month, that’s 12 times a month. That’s like, 30 dollars a time. I’m worth more than that.”

Jim nodded his head, “Okay, okay, okay. So, how much do you want?”

“Well, I was thinking a hundred.”

“That’s a little over the top, I am not paying out of pocket for sex.”

“Well, I’m not giving it away for 30 bucks a day.”

“So, we are somewhere between thirty and a hundred. Let’s make it easy, rent free.”

“What happens if you can’t make it, or Dylan or I are sick? I don’t want to pay rent, I can’t afford it.”

“Okay, how about this. If I can’t make it, it still counts as being here and if you can’t make it than you owe me.”

“Okay.”

“So, are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Well than let’s see what you have underneath that robe.”

She stood up and cautiously began to remove her robe, the stretch marks were still visible and she was nowhere near the shape she was in before she was pregnant, and her breasts were swollen large from milk and looked ugly. As the robe moved off her shoulders the coolness of the room, or maybe it was just a sliver of excitement, caused her nipples to harden. She folded the robe and placed the robe on the arm of the couch and turned to Jim.

He was definitely liking what he saw as shown by not only a big grin but just as big a tent in the towel. She had never caused this type of reaction in a guy before that she could see. She was never fully naked with a guy, she always had a skirt on and never took her blouse off. And she never watched a guy watching her before.