Chapter 1

I sat, the cool leather of the settee pleasant against the skin of my back and legs. Soon, Elk Unstoppable from Passion Mill would arrive.

My day had started hours before dawn. A servant had awakened me to report an urgent call from Passion Mill. A rancher had died of shadow rot in the arms of Elk’s daughter, his lover for the night.

We all hope to be safe within the boundary of a community, the light of our passion shining brightly to keep the shadows out. However, even in the best of times, they lurk unseen outside. When times are not best, life can be grim for villages lacking the support of a noble house. We, the nobility, can build alliances to help communities stand strong against the shadows.

Passion Mill had delegated Elk as their messenger. He would describe their situation. If Oak Leaf’s help were needed, we would negotiate a contract.

Passion Mill would be a valuable addition to Oak Leaf’s beholden. It is a small but reasonably prosperous farming community along the Passion River, down from Three Rivers’ Confluence, near our electronics factory. Passion Mill has a grain elevator, flour mill, small slaughter house, and generally supports the surrounding agricultural region.

I stood as I saw a servant escort a man and young woman into the hall. The man was big: not fat, not especially tall, but large framed and barrel chested. I admired his muscles and the strong set of his face. He wore sharply creased pants and a seldom-used shirt of moderate quality. From the smooth skin of his hands and his clothes, I’d guess that Elk worked in an office. Even so, he kept himself in good physical shape.

I offered my hand to him. “Elk Unstoppable?” I asked.

“Yes. Call me Elk; everyone does.”

He eyed my body, a puzzled expression on his face. “I think there must be some misunderstanding. We’re here to report and discuss whether Oak Leaf can help Passion Mill. With all respect to your skill, bringing us to a servant to join as lovers won’t help our community.”

I smiled at the misunderstanding. He had assumed I was a servant. I wondered if I might learn more by simply failing to correct his confusion about my identity. “Not everyone naked is offering themselves as a lover. I will take your report and convey it to the nobles.”

I could not say for sure why I had not bothered to dress. Part of it was a feeling that naked might be more approachable than as a noble lady. A servant would probably be even more approachable than a naked noble. I decided to see where his confusion led us. I would eventually have to introduce myself as the Lady Ashley, Third for Oak Leaf.

“I’m sorry ... I just expected ... Honestly, I don’t know what I expected. This is my first trip to a noble seat.”

“It is not a problem. I’ll take your reaction as a compliment on my looks,” I said. “I see you did choose to bring your daughter.” I had urged Elk to bring his daughter: Oak Leaf Seat has the necessary skill to help someone who has faced trauma in their lover’s work.

“Yes. This is Pleasure’s Gift. Gift was with Birch when he died last night.”

“She’s also from Passion Mill?”

“Yes.”

His daughter was around my age. She was thin and narrow-waisted, with thick, luxurious hair falling down just below her delicate shoulder blades. From her well muscled arms and the calluses on her hands, I guessed her work was more physical than her father’s.

I sent the servant for tea and cookies. I guided Gift to the settee and sat next to her. I motioned to Elk and he sat on her other side.

“Welcome to Oak Leaf. Would you start by telling me a little about yourself? I will need to ask about Birch in a bit, but I want to know you first.”

“Mostly I work as a baker. But lately I’ve been spending a lot of time helping out with the agricultural work. Most everyone does this time of year.”

“Have you always been with Elk?”

“Elk has been my father my entire life. I rarely see my mother; she does not live at Passion Mill. I was born the year after a bumper harvest. To celebrate, the community hired a whore for Slutfeast. My mother got pregnant and Passion Mill needed children. She found more than lust with Elk and he took delight in raising me.”

Her shoulders slumped and her face fell. “If only I had spent more time with my mother, I would have known how to save Birch.”

“I don’t think whore is a trade people learn from their parents.”

She blushed. “O, yeah ... I didn’t mean ... but perhaps some advice she shared over the years? There must have been something! I’ve known him my entire life. He was fine at the beginning. Nothing I did was enough. Then I’m rocking a corpse, stinking of shadow rot and corruption.” She was sobbing so heavily it was hard to make out her words.

I patted her back. “You are very brave coming here the next day to a strange place and telling us about it. Nothing can bring Birch back, but helping Oak Leaf understand what happened will make sure that nobody else has to suffer.”

I held Gift while she recovered. “Tell me about Gnarled Birch.”

“He was a rancher. He owned his own cattle rather than working for someone else. We’ve known each other for ever.”

“Were you close?”

“We were close friends certainly but not bonded or anything like that. He had taken me as his lover countless times. Over the years we developed a connection. Many a time our passion has shined brighter than anything you’re likely to find with a casual lover.”

“Was last night like that? Also, was he given you last night, or did you find each other independent of the assignments?”

“Passion that bright with a ranch owner this time of year? If only!”

“Too much going on?”

“Yes,” she sighed, “You know how it is when things get busy. You know the work of slut and lover are important. You know your life depends on the passion in your community. Still, one night isn’t going to matter. It’s not like you feel the strength of your passion directly. I mean, I guess sometimes at the edge of your awareness, you feel something, but it’s not real. Not in the way aches and pains in your body at the end of a long day are real.

“But your work is very real. The bread must get baked. A rancher has a big cake order to celebrate the end of the harvest with their crew. Things are busy but money is still tight. Ranchers, particularly owners, have it worse. Calving season is still going strong. Animals don’t wait until it’s convenient to give birth. Winter is coming next and that needs to be planned for. So much stress and worry!”

I did not ‘know how it was.’ Her words painted a picture that filled me with horror. Life is very different for the nobility. We join as a community in the Great Hall. There, we know nothing stands more important than the light of our passion shining forth. When I lie between Lady Michele and Lord Matthew, as I often do when it’s just Oak Leaf gathered, I know I am joining with my closest lovers. I know I am safe and supported both as slut and lover.

Once the web was as faint for me as it is for Gift. With years of practice, I am skilled at web magic. Through luck and my position, I help guide the weaving of Oak Leaf’s web. So, unlike Gift, I do feel the strength of our passion like I feel aches in my body. I am not likely to forget it is as real and as important to our survival as food and water.

It must be dreadful facing the work of slut and lover through such a fog. I imagined taking a lover, both of us tired after a long day of work and worried about the day to come. We would know joining was important, but our bodies would only remind us of our fatigue. My heart went out to Gift and Passion Mill.

Of course, that difference between noble and commoner is why Oak Leaf can help. We have the resources to focus on our work as sluts and lovers—to focus on the strength of our community. It is because of that we can provide help to Passion Mill in their time of need.

Gift continued. “So no, our passion has often shined brighter than last night. Mane gave me to Birch. I was glad though: I’d been worried for him. He’d been out for two nights in a row.”

“So what happened last night?”

“I grew tired waiting for him. He came in around midnight, smelly and filthy after helping with calving. He cleaned up and joined me.

“I tried to excite him—sucking and playing with my hand. His body was tired and past responding. He suggested I masturbate for him. O fuck, does that even work? Can you lend the strength of your passion to someone by jilling yourself for them? I bet that’s why—”

“Yes you can. O honey, you face enough without worrying about that.”

“You’re sure?”

I laughed, thinking back to when Matthew finally believed I could find lover’s joy watching him jack himself while I held him. He was a randy little slut. I guess that’s to be expected for a boy of nineteen. We’d fucked and sucked and licked. We’d done everything you could think of. I was tired and sated, but he was still wanting more. I just held him and watched as he jacked himself. I was filled with joy being trusted enough to receive that view into him—into slut. When he came, the surge of joy and connection rippled through us both. “I am sure. Without a doubt.”

She seemed reassured by my confident tone. “O, thank you.”

“I’m asking, not to judge, but I need to understand. You were both tired and discouraged. How well did it work for you and Birch?”

She sobbed. By this point her face was a mess. I handed her a handkerchief from the side table. She wiped her face and blew her nose. “I came at least. I think he was still awake at the end. I mean, I think he fell asleep after I came.” Her back stiffened. “If only I lived up to being a whore’s daughter I would have known what to do. If I were a better slut, he’d still be with us!”

I winced at Gift’s predicament. She had made her best effort to connect with someone she cared for. It hadn’t been enough. She must have known at the time it was not her best performance. Of course, performing as a lover when you’re worried about how well you are connecting only makes it harder. Also, it must have been frustrating receiving so little back from Birch.

There was a level at which she was right: perhaps a stronger slut on one of her best days would have done more for Birch. However, we don’t organize the defense of communities for the best of times. Instead, we must plan for the most challenging times. Birch’s death was not Gift’s fault.

I leaned over to hug her to me. “No, Gift, you gave your best. That is what matters. You live in an entire community of sluts and lovers. The community’s responsibility is to make sure everyone is safe—even when our lives are stressful, even when one person finds slut and lover elusive. Oak Leaf can help make your community strong again, so no one else has to face what you are going through.”

“But if I’d—” she began.

“But nothing! This is not your fault. It’s okay to cry; I will hold you. You are safe and supported here.” I caught Elk’s look of relief. I guessed he spent much of the trip trying to reassure her. “I do need to ask what happened next.”

She shuddered in my arms. “I fell asleep. I woke to a horrible smell. I thought Birch’s digestion had disagreed with him. Then I heard him rasping. I felt his forehead, and it was cold. I woke him, but he could not talk clearly. I panicked; I didn’t know what to do. Slut and lover were entirely beyond us both. Soon he began to thrash. He died in my arms.”

“I’m so sorry. I am sorry I needed to ask. Thank you for telling me. There was no sign before of shadow rot?”

“How obvious is it?”

“If it is that close to fatal, I doubt you could have missed it. I would expect a rash covering much of his body. Did he smell normal when he joined you?”

“There was definitely no rash. After he washed up, he smelled like soap and clean man. He smelled horrible before, but I think that was from the calving, not the shadows.”

Such rapid progress of shadow rot was puzzling. This was like a young man in the prime of his life dropping dead of a heart attack: possible but quite surprising.

I had what I needed from Gift. I worked to calm her with reassurances and gentle touch. Minutes passed. She calmed somewhat. “Oak Leaf asked your father to prepare a report,” I said. “Do you want to be here while we discuss it?”

“I’d ... would it be okay if I went somewhere else?”

“Yes. Would working help?”

“Yes, please. I can clean, carry, whatever.”

“How about assisting our baker? He’s friendly and understanding.”

“Thank you.”

I stood, motioning Gift to follow. “Elk, I shall return shortly.”

On the way to the kitchens, I asked one more question. “Gift, would you rather be with a woman or a man tonight?”

“There’s no way I could ... not so soon! O, fuck, I’m a visitor here. I have to, don’t I? I just don’t know how I’ll—” She started crying again.

I hugged her to me. “You do not have to have sex. I doubt you’ll even have to touch, although if you are comfortable, I think cuddling and being held will help. But yes, you do have to join someone tonight. Being a visitor would be enough, but any community would assign you after the night you had.

“Oak Leaf will find someone who understands shadow rot well. I don’t think you are in danger, but to be safe we must have someone there who can help you through whatever is needed.”

She needed someone who would do whatever was necessary, even if she wished they would not. However care and compassion would be important so that any emotional damage would be minimized.

“But you think I’ll be safe and can choose how open to be?”

“Yes, you will be safe, and you can choose.”

“I’d feel most comfortable with a man. He needs to be kind and understanding though.”

“Of course. The Lady of Oak Leaf is handling pairings for tonight. She is good at matching people.”

“She handles assignments, even for commoners?”

“For a visitor facing her first shadow death, I’m sure she will.”

I knew that even if Gift’s situation hadn’t been critical, Lady Celeste would review the assignments for commoners and nobles alike. She might take more input for the commoners, but Oak Leaf Seat takes pairings seriously.

I returned and sat next to Elk. When it became clear that he would not break the silence, I began. “So, how widespread is the problem?”

“I’m worried.”

“About your daughter?”

“Pleasure’s Gift certainly, but not just her. Gnarled Birch is not the only one who’s had trouble meeting his responsibilities as a lover.” He hesitated. I was about to ask for more information when he continued. “I’m also worried about how we’ll be seen. I think Flowing Mane—well, all of us really—are in over our heads. But it’s not like we don’t try our best. What we face is hard. It’s good you are preparing the report for the nobles. I need your help showing them the problems we face.”