Chapter 4

She nodded in understanding and slipped out of the room, leaving me to compose my thoughts and then go back to searching. I went back to the shelf I’d been searching and started dragging books out of the shelf and putting them on the desk in stacks. It was a slow process because I could only handle one book at a time while I was on crutches. I was still tackling the top shelf when I heard someone knock at the office door. I turned and smiled, seeing Patty standing there. “Hi, Patty,” I said in a friendly way, dropping the latest book onto the desk and taking a break to talk to her for a few minutes. I crossed over to her and gave her a light hug before moving back over to the desk and dropping into the office chair with a bit of a groan. “Mom call you to come over while she’s out?” I asked.

She came and sat down in one of the two chairs that were across the desk. “Yep. She asked if there was anyone at our place interested in the job. Becky’s gone to baseball and Lana went over to talk to her best friend, Marlene, today. She’s been acting squirrelly all day. What did you do to that poor girl?” she asked with a laugh.

“Squirrelly, how?” I asked evasively, not willing to give up any information until I knew what was going on.

Patty gave me an amused look that said she knew I was dodging the question. “She came home like she was floating on air and she’s been grinning like the cat that ate the canary since then. As soon as she got up this morning, she was on the phone to Marlene and HAD to talk to her right now.”

She took a drink of the soda she had with her and I decided to tease her back. “Well it wasn’t a canary, as you well know,” I said evenly, making her choke and sputter.

She coughed and then sniffed, blinking back tears. She’d clearly snorted it up her nose. “You (cough) did that on purpose.” she accused, laughing and coughing at the same time. She finally got the coughing under control and she wriggled her nose uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” I laughed a little. “I just couldn’t help it. I’ll have mercy on you for now.”

“I don’t get it,” she said after a moment. “Becky’s been teasing you for years and you’ve never turned this wit on her. I didn’t know you had it in you. Where’s this Matt been all along?”

I shrugged. “I was always here, but she was always teasing me about how I acted around Lana. It was a little too close to home on too many levels. Until yesterday, I’d never had the courage to talk to her and I was kind of ashamed that I couldn’t find my voice with her so I didn’t have the confidence to fight back because I guess I agreed with everything she said. Now it’s a whole different playing field. I’m proud of myself for talking to her, ecstatic at how things turned out and I can’t wait to tell everyone about it. Becky’s going to have to find a new set of buttons to push to make me squirm now.”

“You said there was a lot more to the story when we were at the hospital,” she reminded me. “Ready to share? I’ve been careful not to pry for information from Becky or Lana.”

I nodded. “It’s not really a secret. My dad came home on Tuesday and packed his stuff, announcing to me that he was divorcing Mom. He’s been cheating on her for a while with his secretary, I guess. Mom knew it was coming ahead of time and Lilly had found pictures of him and his new girlfriend on his phone, so I was the only one in the dark. If I hadn’t come home when I had, he would have snuck off without even telling me in person. He hasn’t been back or called since. Mom said she was going to call and let him know about the accident, but she didn’t bring the phone down so maybe he didn’t want to talk to me. No loss there, I guess.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like a classy way to exit a marriage, especially with kids involved, but it’s not for me to judge. So what actually put you over at the mall yesterday? Lana said when you went off the bike, you were going like the Devil himself was chasing you.”

“I had a big blowup with Mom and Lilly at breakfast. The night before, when I realized that they’d both known that it was coming and hadn’t told me, I felt betrayed, like they’d blindfolded me and marched me into a minefield. So I avoided them both all night and sat in the garage until my curfew was up and went to bed right away. Mom kept prodding me to talk about it and I finally blew up, asked how they’d feel if the three people they trusted most had known the family was about to be torn apart and had kept the secret from them. Then I bugged out and jumped on my bike. I didn’t have a destination and every time I got some place, it seemed like the worst idea in the world. I honestly didn’t know I was at the mall ‘til after I hit the ground. I was just trying to ‘beat the devil’ as Stephen King put it when he wrote IT.”

She nodded taking another sip of her soda. “That’s a shitty day,” she said in sympathy. I found myself enjoying talking to Patty. She treated me as an equal, talking to me like we were on the same level instead of talking down to me from a position of superiority. “And all that made you talk to Lana?”

I shrugged. “I’m not going to discount the importance of the blow to the head,” I said with a grin. “Call it a cognitive adjustment. I don’t really know. She told me that she wanted to make sure I was okay and I said I didn’t even remember what okay felt like. I told her what happened and she asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t want to talk and I couldn’t say the words. Instead, I poured it all out sitting in the grass, bleeding on myself. One thing that the last couple of days has taught me is how destructive secrets are. My dad kept them and it tore our family apart. Mom and Lilly kept them and it tore me apart. I’d kept my feelings for Lana a secret for years. Everyone knew, but so long as I didn’t say it, the secret was still intact in my head. After all the damage that secrets had done, I couldn’t keep that one any more. I had to tell her. That was what broke the ice. I’d clung to that secret and it had kept me in my shell. Now I’ve let it go and I’m not really much different in my head, but I’m not afraid that someone is going to find out about how I feel. I want them to know. I’m proud of it.”

“And how DO you feel about Lana now?” she asked directly, watching my face.

“I love her,” I said simply. “I’ve searched every book I could find to put words to my feelings and that’s the only word that works. I fell in love with the idea of Lana 9 years ago. I told my mom less than an hour ago that I was lucky because since I’ve started getting to know her, I’ve fallen in love with who she is. I’ve seen aspects of her personality that I could never have guessed at while I had her on a pedestal. I’d always kept her at what I’d ludicrously judged to be a safe distance and because of that, I never knew how mischievous she could be and I love it. I find myself looking forward to each new thing I learn about her. She’s no longer on that pedestal and I love her even more for it. I could never reach her when I had her up there, but sitting in the grass at the mall, we found each other.”

Patty smiled at me deeply and we sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. “None of that explains what you did to my daughter last night that’s put her in such an altered state.”

“The truth?” I asked and she nodded her head a little too eagerly. “I kissed her hand.”

She leaned back and gave me a look that said I should try for something a little more believable.

Before she could reply, Mom came back to the door and called for me. “Matt, your father wants a word with you. Sorry. I tried telling him you were resting.” She brought the cordless across the room and handed it to me.

Instead of putting it to my ear, I put it on speaker and set it on the desk in front of me. “Hello?” I said neutrally, putting a finger to my lips to let them know to be quiet.

“Hi son.” My father said. He could probably tell he was on speaker, but he wouldn’t have any idea that Patty was listening too. “Your mother tells me that you had to spend some time in the hospital yesterday. You okay?”

“I’m as well as can be expected,” I said dispassionately. “Adversity is teaching me new skills.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay,” he said, clearly glossing over the double entendre in what I’d said. “Listen, I was thinking about coming by after work to make sure you’re okay. Is there anything I can bring you?”

“Oh I can’t think of anything,” I said casually. “Between Mom, Lilly and the Powers, I’ve got everything I need.” I grinned at the two women, enjoying how I was handling the conversation.

There was silence from the other end of the line for a moment and he finally sighed and started talking. “Look, Matt, I know this whole thing is a big mess right now. I just want to see you and try to explain and maybe get us to a better place. Can we do that?”

“I suppose that we can discuss it,” I conceded lightly. “Did you want this to be one on one or were you planning on talking to Lilly tonight too?”

“Which would you prefer?” he asked, clearly willing to play by whatever ground rules I set down.

I thought about it for a moment and thought of something. “I’ll meet you at the food court at the mall at 5:30. You can buy me dinner. I’ll ask Lilly if she wants to come and if not, it’ll be just you and me.”

“I can do that son,” he said, sounding happy with that. “I’ll see you then.”

“Just one more thing. Where’s the key to the office? I went down there this morning looking for something to read and the door was locked. Mom didn’t know where you kept the key.”

“I’ve got the key somewhere. It must be in one of the boxes. I’ll hunt it up and get it to you. There’s still a few things I’d like to collect from it there, but once I do, the rest is yours to do with what you please.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at 5:30,” I told him “Bye.”

As soon as he hung up, I turned off the phone. “He’s lying about the key,” I said. “I know for a fact he keeps it on his key ring at all times. I’ve seen him open the door while I was using the pool table. There’s definitely something in here he doesn’t want us to find.”

Patty looked surprised. “Wait, this is the office you said was locked? Then how is it that we’re all sitting here and the door’s not broken?”

“Apparently my son is quite adept at the felonious arts,” my mother said dryly.

I showed Patty the used gift card and explained that there’s a technique to slipping the card between the door and the jamb to unlatch the door. “Doesn’t work on deadbolts, but most knob locks are a cinch. If the door’s loose, it takes less time than using a key.”

“And you learned this why?” she asked.

“I read about it in a book and decided to see if it worked or it was junk information. It took me a little time, but I got the hang of it. It’s come in handy a couple of times when I forgot my key and came home while Mom was out shopping and it was really handy today, clearly.” I looked at my watch and it was almost 2. “I could use a hand searching the rest of the room if you’ve got time Patty. Mom, you still going out to get some things?”

She nodded and looked at the time herself. “I’ll be back in about an hour. Plenty of time to take you to the mall in time for the meeting. I’m curious why you want to meet him there,”

“It’s public, heavy traffic and if he pisses me off, I can make a scene and he’ll have little choice but to leave. If he comes here, he might decide to stay and loot whatever it is that he wants from the office.” I shrugged. “And this is our home. I don’t want him here. That’s the first rule. After what he did to us, this is our sanctuary. Unless we all decide he’s forgiven and welcome here, then the answer is no. I don’t think that’s unfair. No one deserves to be uncomfortable in their own home. I won’t let him here if him showing up is going to upset even one of us and right now, I know it would upset you and me, so he can suck it up and meet me at the mall.”

Mom went to run her errands and Patty helped me empty the bookcase and then move it so I could look behind it with no further luck. I sighed and looked around the room for inspiration. We took pictures off the walls to check the backs and the wall behind them. I went so far as to check the light fixture and the heating duct for clues, but still couldn’t come up with anything. I flopped into the office chair and spun around a few times in frustration.

“Well we’ve looked most everywhere in here with no luck. I suppose we could ... pull ... up ... the ... carpet,” I said with the sudden inspiration.

Patty clearly thought I was joking, but I threw myself out of the chair and was feeling along the carpet. “This isn’t one piece!” I said excitedly. “A few years ago he wanted to renovate the office and put in carpet tiles. If one of them is loose, there might be something hidden under it.”

“That’s pretty far-fetched, isn’t it?” she asked dryly as she watched me crawl across the carpet, tugging at the fibers every foot or so. I stared at the wall behind the desk and worked my way around the room toward the center until I finally found what I was looking for under the desk where I’d started the whole search. I laughed and pulled my head out from under the desk.

“Far-fetched or not, I found it. Can you pass my that flashlight?” I asked, pointing it out.

Her eyes widened and she brought the light quickly, crowding under the desk with me. The loose carpet tile was attached to a wooden hatch that fit snug into the hollow built into the floor. I took the flashlight from her and looked around the cavity I’d uncovered. Both of us were a little wide-eyed by what we found there.

We looked at each other and didn’t say a word, just replaced the plug so the carpet sat flush and backed out from under the desk.

When we were back in our seats, she broke the silence. “Well one thing’s for sure,” she said softly. “Your meeting with your father is going to be interesting.”

I nodded numbly, unable to think what I was going to do. “Please don’t say anything,” I asked her when I could find my voice. “I don’t want to jump to any conclusions before I find out for sure.”

She nodded. “Are you going to tell him you found it?”

I shrugged. “An hour ago, it was just a meeting with my father to try to explain the divorce. Now...” I trailed off, not even want to say the words out loud.

She nodded in understanding. “Let’s just change the subject for now. You’ll decide what to do when you’re there. I somehow doubt you want to share that meeting with Lilly now though.”

“No, definitely not. Until I figure out what that means, I don’t want her getting a hint of it. Once I know, then I’ll have to tell them. In any case, what’s the new topic?”

She smirked. “Same as when your mom came in. I don’t believe a word of it. She came home looking like she’d just been on the best ride of her life and you’re telling me that you kissed her hand? Nuh-uh. Try again.”

I shrugged and slid the phone across to her. “Call Lana,” I told her. “Tell her what I told you and ask her if it’s true.”

I’d learned enough of how to pique a woman’s interest from my mother’s reactions to know that she wouldn’t be able to stand the curiosity, so I waited, leaning back in the chair to watch her.

“Alright, Mister. Maybe I’ll just do that,” She picked up the phone and dialed Lana’s number. I reminded myself to get her number soon so I could call her myself. “Hi Pumpkin,” she said a moment later. “I’m next door and wanted to find out where you are. You still talking with Marlene?” I waited calmly, listening to the side of the conversation I could hear. “No, nothing’s wrong. Matt’s mother just had to go out and she didn’t want to leave him here all alone. Sorry. You missed it,” she added, unable to keep herself from teasing.

I was getting the impression that Patty was a merciless tease and I smiled, feeling it was only going to escalate from here.

“Listen, Matt and I have been talking and he’s been telling me ALL about last night,” she said, grinning evilly at me.

“That’s a lie!” I said loud loudly, smiling. “Put it on speaker if you’re going to lie to the poor girl, Patty,” I scolded her playfully.

“Fine,” she said in mock disappointment and put the phone between us. “There, you’re on speaker. Now you two can get your story straight.”

“Hi Matt!” she gushed brightly from the other end of the phone.

“Hi Tiger,” I said, keeping my eyes on Patty for a reaction and wasn’t disappointed when she mouthed the word again, her eyes twinkling. “For starters, I haven’t been telling her everything that happened last night. She asked what I’d done to you and I told her the most exciting thing I did was to kiss your hand. Other than that, I just sat and behaved myself.”

She went into a fit of giggling that seemed to last forever before tapering off. “That’s true. I already told Marlene about it. I hope you don’t mind. She’s like my best friend. I had to tell her. I just wished I’d been home when you needed me to come over.”

She was talking a mile a minute and I had to wait till she took a breath to get a word in. “I don’t mind. I’d tell my best friend, but your sister would probably run away screaming with her hands over her ears,” I laughed. “Mom’s going out was sort of last minute though. Don’t worry about it. You can’t give up your summer just for me.”