Chapter 32: My Wife’s Cousin (based on Lovers No. 63 cover, Marvel, September 1954)

I am an awkward person in the treats of my wife’s relatives. Sometimes, I feel so different among them, because they seem to live different lives as mine. Well, everyone does, but surely I feel unwell dealing with those people. The only one I couldn’t have any complaint about it was Arlene, her cousin.

Arlene was the kind of woman that got everything right in her life. She married a perfect catch on a somehow wealthy European guy, found herself the happiness at the beauty products industry, made her fame, and got everything good from it. And also, it was a lovely person. Being raised next to Leane, my wife, she did seem the same person she was at her teens. The kind of person you would like to talk for hours and spend a nice evening with.

One day, Arlene came to visit us, but not in the good shape, if I can talk. Her marriage was having some kind of crisis and she was thinking to ask for divorce because of marital infidelity. It was a shock because she, with all respect, was a hot woman and couldn’t be target of such sleazeball act like Roger, the man that she married, did.

“That’s it, Leane! I will ask for divorce! I can’t handle it anymore!”

“Please, Arlene. Give some time for a reaction. Don’t do anything that you might regret later!”

“I don’t have time for that. I can’t forgive a cheating man! Nobody can”

“I am sorry and we all agree that Roger is a bastard, but you gotta think about your future. And if you end up losing everything you own because of the divorce arrangements?”

“I don’t need to worry about that. All my belongings are safe and I will not give him a dime!”

We did the best to make her do the best decision, but we couldn’t avoid that Arlene asked right away for their separation. The battle was long and wore both of them, but after it was over, her plan to keep her businesses was successful, despite having to hand a part of the shares to her ex.

We were worried about Arlene’s state after divorce, but when she came to visit us, she has happy and bright. It felt that she just dumped a large rock from her back ... that she was free at last! But, with that, I learned another thing about her that puzzled my mind.

“You look like other person, Arlene. You seem so relieved and free”

“Divorcing Roger was the best decision I ever made, Leane. Getting rid from that son of a bitch rejuvenated my life, made me open doors that I thought it would remain closed, it brought me freedom, brought me life!”

“I am very happy for you, but I have to say that I will miss the days that me and Rob, you and Roger, hung out together, went to places and have vacations together”

“Why think about the past, if we can see the looming future toward us ... my future is not with guys like Roger, it’s with guys like Rob. Believe me, your husband is truly a real man”

“Do you think?”

“Yes! He is all what a man can be and, by the way, I will have to tell you, if he wasn’t married to my cousin, I would surely grab him for myself. Pardon me, Leane, but your husband is hot!”

“Hot? Gee, I must admit Rob is a hunk ... but it wasn’t for his body or looks that I married him”

“And you did the right thing, Leane. I can only envy you a little for you to have a man like Rob and not me...”

When I heard that, I felt like... ‘what the fuck?’ Was Arlene trying to make a compliment on me for Leane or it was the call of a lonely woman needing for someone that fulfill her dreams? Or, even, if she had a crush on me?

At first, I didn’t cared about what she said, but everything came clear when we were the two of us alone, one day, while Leane was out doing shopping and she came by for the usual visit.

“Leane is not here, Arlene. She went shopping. Want to wait for a while or will come back later?”

“It will be not necessary, Rob. It’s you the one that I wanted to talk”

Talk with me? What she wanted to talk with me?

“Eh ... sure, sure ... come over ... so, it happened something? Is there any problem?”

“Well, it’s not kind of a problem, Rob. It’s more of a ‘confession’ I need to make” “Confession? Sure, go ahead. I am not a priest, but you can talk everything you want to me and I will listen”

“Right ... Anyway, since I got divorced from Roger, sometimes I feel myself a bit empty, like I feel that something is missing, that I need something to fulfill myself”

“I can understand that. You spent a lot of time with someone by your side and now that you are alone, you must seem a little lost, right?”

“You are so damn right, Rob ... I kinda envy Leane to have married someone like you. It’s hard for me to say that, but she got better luck than me on that department”

“I don’t think you should feel sorry about that. Roger was a mistake, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have to try again, find another person you can trust and love. There are so many men around that I might not even have the temptation to think there is no one meant for you out there”

“But I am not getting any younger and I don’t know if this emptiness will break me into pieces or not. See, Rob, it’s so complicated. I don’t know if I ever will find another man”

“Don’t put yourself down like that, Arlene. You are a terrific woman! You are very gorgeous and classy. I am sure that many men would fall at your feet at the very mention of your name”

“I knew you would say something like that. Rob! You are a man with heart of gold! And, pardon me for saying that, the body of a Greek god!”

“Er ... Thanks Arlene...”

“To tell you the truth, a man like you is the kind of man I look for. So sure of himself, kind, gentle, hot, gorgeous, good fella ... all that I look in a guy”

“Well ... er ... I don’t know what to tell, Arlene. I am kinda ... well ... it’s just ... I never heard someone say that to me that wasn’t my wife. And I didn’t expect a close relative of hers to say it...”

If that was awkward, you will never imagine that what she was about to do next would be...

“I wouldn’t mind if Leane lent some of her man for me...”

“I guess that’s impossible, Arlene”

“Is it?”

Quickly Arlene came closer to me and had her hand on my chests. I ‘gulped’ only in the thought of that happen. My wife’s cousin, doing that, while Leane was away! I am so screwed!”

“Arlene, I don’t think it’s the right thing to do”

“Who cares about what is right or not. My ex-husband wronged me once, and now I don’t care if my love life is going to be a crap or not...”

“But ... I-I am a married man! With your cousin!”