One Thousand Apologies

Caution: This Coming of Age Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/ft, Teenagers, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Fiction, Tear Jerker, Sports, Incest, Cousins, First, Safe Sex, Oral Sex, Masturbation, Petting, Cream Pie, Small Breasts, Slow,

Desc: Coming of Age Sex Story: Preface - I was a nineteen year old virgin when I met my first love - she was my fourteen year old cousin.

And knowing what I’ve done to you,

With every thought you suffer through

My heart as black as evil can

And everything I could have been,

Erased by what I wanted then

I couldn’t think a lesser man

All the delicate ways

That I deepened our graves

My apology pales

- Demon Hunter

We buried my cousin last week.

‘Fucking breast cancer.’

We stood in the middle of the cemetery on a hilltop in western Pennsylvania, the church acrossed the road, a hundred yards to our right. The sun glaring in my eyes, I stared at the tombstone.

Hannah R. Berkey

Nov 17 1964 - July 23 2014

‘Forty-nine years old – and gone.’

The last one to leave, I bit my lip, then tossed my handful of dirt onto the lowered coffin. My wife tugged at my arm and whispered, “C’mon, Joe.”

I walked over to embrace Hannah’s husband. The rest of her family waited in line – Sarah, Leah and Liz, her brother and sister and their spouses, her mother and my mother. Various aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins and friends milled around and some were headed to their cars.

Her brother Dave shook my hand. “Thanks for comin’, man. When’re you guys headed back to Virginia?”

“Tonight. I’m sorry the kids couldn’t make it. Josh is getting a place down in Pittsburgh and Rachel had to stay with her kids. How ya doin’? Been too long.”

“Oh, we understand. We’re going back to Maryland tomorrow. Store’s doin’ great. George got remarried and Jeff has a nice place over near you guys - you should go see him sometime.”

“Yeah, we gotta do that.” I patted his shoulder. “Talk some more later.”

When I got to the end, Mom said, “We’ll see you at the restaurant, son.”

Walking back to the car, I said to my wife, “I thought she might beat this. She was always talking about the happy stuff - the kids, church, n’at - and then I log onto Facebook and see the message from Leah.”

She squeezed my hand. “Other than a few reunions, we’ve hardly seen them since they moved to Florida.”

I slipped into the driver’s seat and slammed the door. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I threw my head back and started sobbing as the tears streamed down my face.

From the passenger seat, my wife asked, “Are you gonna be OK, honey? It’s not like you to get so broke up.”


She shook her head. “Even from the beginning, I could tell by the way she looked at me - I don’t think she ever liked me that much. I don’t know what I did to her.”

Furious, I snapped my head around and stared right into her. “Don’t! Just don’t!

‘Will I ever be able to tell her?’

Chapter 1 »