Author's message: In case it wasn't made obvious in the text, this story is set directly in between Destiny of the Daleks and City of Death. Also, although I'm aware David Brierley voiced K9 in Season 17, it would be much more pleasant for all of us if we just picture him speaking with John Leeson's voice. I know I am.
The Doctor flipped a switch, and the familiar vworping sound was heard, as the TARDIS dematerialised from the planet Skaro.
"Well then, that was certainly a challenge, wasn't it, Doctor?" Romana said.
"Oh hardly," the Doctor smiled. "Defeating the Daleks is mere child's play for me. You know, I faced them just after my first regeneration too. The planet Vulcan I think it was. Of course, I had Ben and Polly to look after me."
"No no, they were from Earth. You remember Earth? That planet where we found the 3rd segment?"
"How can I forget? I still have nightmares about those stone creatures."
"Ogri, Mistress," K9 chirped in. "Silicon-based lifeforms from the planet Ogros."
"Yes, thank you, K9."
The Doctor sat down, and Romana took her shoes off.
"Your new feet are positively exquisite," The Doctor said.
"Yes, Princess Astra did have a marvellous body," Romana said, wiggling her toes, before grabbing her breasts. "If a little ... oddly proportioned. I'd probably have sorted it out, but with the energy you made me waste by going through all those other bodies, I didn't have enough left. I didn't want to risk getting stuck as some giant-bosomed bimbo."
"Oh I don't know, I think the look might have suited you," The Doctor joked.
"That reminds me of a boy I knew at the academy. Had his way with all the girls. I ... I may have lost my virginity to him."
"Really?" The Doctor asked, trying not to imagine his best friend naked. He went to the console, standing behind it and pretending to examine the controls, lest Romana see the effect her words were having on him. "How interesting."
"Yes, he told me he had a thing for brunettes. Really he just had a thing for ladies. Especially virgins."
"Well you know, academy boys tend to be like that," the Doctor said, trying to change the subject. "Oh look, we've landed."
"Whereabouts are we?"
"Well ... oh, we're on Earth again!" The Doctor grinned. "Paris. A nice place. The city of love, they call it."
"Love ... yes. You were married, weren't you Doctor?"
"Yes, a long time ago. But I've been alone ever since."
"There's not been anyone else?"
"Well I've had company. Susan, Ian, Barbara, Vicki, Stephen, Katarina, Sara, Dodo, Ben, Polly, Jamie, Victoria, Zoe, The Brigadier, Sergeant Benton, Liz, Captain Yates, Jo, Sarah, Harry, Leela ... and now you and K9."
"And you weren't romantically involved with any of them?"
"Oh heavens no. Now then, Paris. It's night time, but I expect there should be a restaurant still open. I know a lovely place near the Arc de Triomphe. I think we're in the right time period for it."
"So there's not been anyone since you first left Gallifrey?"
"Not as such, no. Aside from the occasional fling, of course."
"Is something wrong, Romana? You don't seem your ordinary self."
"Well that's just it, I'm not my ordinary self. It's stranger than I imagined, getting a new body."
"Oh you'll get used to it. I did."
"Yes, but I was rather thinking I ought to do a bit of physical activity. You know, to really help me to get used to being Princess Astra."
"Perfect, we can go for a walk through Paris."
"No Doctor, I mean something a bit more strenuous than that."
"Alright then, we'll go for a run through Paris."
"No Doctor, I was thinking that we ... That we could do something here. In the TARDIS."
"Alright, we'll go for a run through the TARDIS then."
"No Doctor, I meant something rather more ... intimate."
"Oh? Well, I could let you wear my scarf if you'd like."
"Doctor, clearly I'm not getting through to you. So perhaps this will."
At this, Romana lunged at the Doctor, giving him a passionate kiss. The Doctor fell backwards, with Romana on top of him, who eventually broke the kiss.
"Doctor, your screwdriver's prodding me," she grinned, before kissing him again.
"Romana, I ... I think you're just suffering a hormonal imbalance," he said, gently pushing her off of him. "Perfectly normal post-regenerative trauma. Why don't you just go and lie down for a bit while I take K9 for a walk?"
"Alright Doctor, I think I will go and lay down. Perhaps you could join me?"
Romana left the room, while the Doctor tried to compose himself.
"Master, your hearts appear to be beating at a heightened frequency," said K9.
"Yes ... K9, why don't you go and re-charge for a bit?"
"Power levels are at 93%. No recharge necessary, Master."
"Yes, well go and re-charge anyway, won't you, K9?"
K9 wheeled away, and the Doctor sighed.
"Get a hold of yourself, Doctor," he said to himself. "A young girl of 140, straight out of the Academy, is throwing herself at you. Any other Time Lord your age would be leaping at the chance. And after all, she's a beautiful woman ... probably. Two good hearts beating in her chest, and long, blonde, flowing hair. Maybe I do want to give in after all..."
No. He couldn't. This was just a post-regenerative hormonal imbalance. He'd had similar thoughts about a homicidally helpful robot he'd fought not long after his last regeneration, but they soon went away. A quick nap in the Zero Room, and Romana would be closing her legs firmly shut again.
On the other hand, it really had been a while. When was the last time he'd ... danced? Was it that time he, Jamie and Zoe had ended up on that Nymphomaniac Planet, populated by creatures who'd wanted nothing more than to bonk them? Well, bonk them 50 times a day until they dropped dead, having been drained of their life force? That was probably the most fun he'd ever had foiling someone's evil plot. He'd never really had much chance since then. Being UNIT's scientific advisor never really left much time for love, and Sarah, Leela and Harry had been purely friends.
But then, wasn't Romana purely a friend? His best friend. After all they'd been through, he'd trust her with anything. So why was he so nervous about this? It was just sex. It felt great, from what he remembered of it. And why wouldn't he want to have it with his best friend? Things were always better with the people you loved. And he did love Romana. Platonically. And he'd promised to show her the wonders of the universe, so why not experience a wonder in the privacy of their own TARDIS? They had just landed in the city of love, after all.
It was decided then. The Doctor would sleep with Romana. He took a deep breath, swallowed a few jelly babies, and walked to Romana's room, knocking on the door.
"Come in," he heard her say. The Doctor opened it slowly, and was shocked by what he saw. Romana, laid there on her bed in the most seductive pose she could manage.
"Hello there," she said seductively. "Like what you see?"
"Well, I ... I ... I..."
"That's three "I"s in one breath, Doctor," Romana said. "Makes you sound rather egotistical."
"Well it's just, well ... I'm not particularly used to this sort of thing, you see," The Doctor stuttered. "Not many Time Lords out here, and I've never had much of a thing for humans."
"Well perhaps you should come over here. Make yourself more comfortable."
"Oh, well, alright then."
The Doctor sat down on the bed with the naked Romana, who slowly pulled his scarf off, setting it to the side.
"I don't understand why you're so scared, Doctor," she said. "You've done this hundreds of times before."
"But not in this body," he said.
"Nor have I," Romana said, before kissing him. "Let's change that."
Romana started unbuttoning the Doctor's shirt, and pulled it off him, leaving him topless, which he looked rather embarrassed by.
"Just relax, Doctor," Romana cooed, stroking his chest, before kissing him again. "Let me show you what I learned at the academy..." Romana tugged on the Doctor's trousers, and pulled them down, revealing an erection sticking up into the air.
"My word, you won the regenerative lottery, didn't you?"
"Weeeell ... I've never really noticed before." Romana grabbed hold of the Doctor's penis, and started stroking it.
"I bet you're noticing now though, aren't you?"
.... There is more of this story ...