Chapter 16: The Interview

I couldn’t believe how hard I was. With everything that had happened in the last few days, I’d had some painfully rigid erections, but this one definitely took the cake. It was the Chevy 3500 of boners. It was the California Redwood of boners. Indeed, dare I say it, it was the Oregonian humongous fungus of boners. Look it up; it’s actually fascinating.

As I sat in my throne waiting for Lila to return with Jazz, I pulled down my sweats a few inches to bask in its majesty and attempt to think of more clever analogies.

The skin upon the surface was stretched so tightly that I thought it might rip down the sides, and the purple head was ballooned angrily, the tip smeared with precum. I reached forward and took it in my hand, giving it a few tender strokes before squirming in my chair with pleasure.

I really liked those healing waters. They did wonderful things for my ego. Unfortunately, said ego was shattered when Lila entered through the door and caught me wanking it like a fifteen-year-old in the bathroom.

I quickly shoved it back in my pants but her joyous smile told me that she’d seen everything. Even with all the nakedness, all the boners, and all the suggestive flirting, there is still something shameful about being caught with your dick in your fist. “Oh ... Hello, Lila,” I said, nonchalant as fuck, “I was just starting to fall asleep.”

“Tell that to your cock,” she laughed. “It doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo.” Smiling wide, she walked over to my throne and turned around, gesturing to her zipper. Always happy to lend a hand, I pulled the catch down, helping her undress. “This suit isn’t as comfortable as it looks,” she said, peeling off the thin material and getting naked again.

Once she finished, she simply stood there in her birthday suit with more confidence than I’d ever felt fully-clothed, as if to say “Look how pretty I am. Drink it in, bitch.”

“I know you want better clothes, just ... if this monster mission goes well, I swear I’ll get you something comfortable. Some jammies maybe. You like jammies?”

“You mean pajamas? You want to buy me pajamas?” She scrunched up her nose cutely at me again. “Really? Most heroes go for eveningwear and heels, lingerie and such.”

“Whatever you want,” I said. “I just want you to be comfortable. I’ll get you a nice soft onesie with attached footies and a buttflap.” She rolled her eyes as she stepped up to my chair.

“You’re weird,” she said, and sat upon me as before, legs draped over the side, making sure not to snap my dick off as she positioned her butt across my lap. “And I’m plenty comfortable wearing nothing at all.” She reached into my pants to pull out my cock, but once free, she just let it wave there beside her, positioned between her thigh and my belly.

“So you can be comfortable too,” she said, winking. “Now let’s get started. Computer, admit Jazz.”

“Certainly, Madam Caretaker.”

The door swooshed open and in walked Jazz, a chocolate skinned beauty of indeterminate race. She was taller than Lila, probably a full 5’10,” but had the same bombshell proportions, a large proud chest tapering off to a slim waist that wasn’t so much thin as it was fit.

She was wearing a skin-tight catsuit like the type Lila usually wore, but it was black instead of Silver, and had emerald stripes running down the sides of the arms and thighs - Courtney colors.

I’d never seen anyone that looked like her. Her hair was a deep shimmering rave-girl blue, short, messy, and tucked behind her ears, and her eyes were a hyper-intense cerulean that went well with the color and made her look intimidatingly off-putting. It was like her irises had LED’s behind them.

These contrasted well with her skin, which was a light coffee-colored brown. She was undoubtedly gorgeous, but she didn’t fit into any genetic category that I could identify. Not that I cared, just saying.

As she walked toward my throne, I could see her abs through the fabric. In contrast to my caretaker, she was less delicate-seeming, and much more athletic. She smiled at me and at Lila draped across my lap, and went to one knee several feet from where I sat.

“Greetings, my lord Courtney,” she said, bowing her head. “My name is Jazz Quartermaster, and I’ve come to submit my credentials.”

“Oh, I said, surprised by her formality, “Hello.” I turned to Lila. “Is this like an interview?”

“I choose the candidates, but the retinue is ultimately decided by you...” Lila said, “ ... my lord.” She kissed me on the nose. “Computer, bring up the dossier on Jazz Quartermaster.” The light dimmed softly and the wall behind the kneeling girl lit up with three folders - labeled “Training Background,” “Areas of Expertise,” and “Perks & Unlockables.”

“This place is so friggin’ cool,” I said. Jazz was still kneeling in front of me, head down. “You can stand up, Jazz. We’re all friends, here.” She looked at me with those luminous irises and smiled, coming back to her feet before stepping off to the side so as not to obstruct the view of the wall. She moved with a controlled grace, almost like she was shifting between yoga positions.

“As you wish, my Lord.”

Her figure was incredible, a longer torso than Lila’s with more shapely limbs, leanly muscled. Her thighs were bangin, ‘ and every inch of her was built like a fitness model. Lila saw the way I was staring at her, and wrapped her tiny fingers around my aching erection. I love this place so much... “Shall we begin, Lord Courtney?”

“Sure,” I said, “What do we do? Let’s start with training background, I guess.” Lila waved her free hand in a random-seeming motion and the folder of the same name blinked, the viewscreen changing into a sort of resume.

The top was some basic vital info - her height was indeed 5’10,” and she weighed a surprising 170 pounds, despite not having an ounce of visible fat. I guessed a hefty chunk was boob. The other ordinaries - eye-color, hair-color - were there, but her age was listed as two numbers - 54(15). Her race was listed as Luvian - fucking Luvians - and I nursed a small hope that I would finally have my curiosities regarding said “debacle” assuaged.

Lila began interpreting while casually jacking me off. “The first number of her age is her actual age, including years in cryo-sleep. Harmony girls grow faster than humans both mentally and physically, functioning at your high-school level by age five, and hitting full maturity by ten. Training ends at fifteen and then we’re frozen until needed.”

“You get frozen for decades? Doesn’t that ... I don’t know ... suck?”

“It’s not a continuous thing,” she said. “We’re awakened for a week per year to stay current on modern culture, major world developments, that sort of thing. And besides, it passes in flash. It’s like waking up after a good night’s sleep. All of us do it after we graduate. There’s no reason to stick around if the rest of your class is getting frozen as well. People have told me before that it’s like your custom of moving away to college after high-school. It’s just what you do after training.” Interesting...

Considering that they were all test-tube babies, I guessed that they had no sort of family structure like most of the world. “It’s strange,” she continued. “You wake up in a new facility with a bunch of new faces, and suddenly, there are no Harmony men around anymore and you’re extremely horny.” She smiled, unconsciously spreading around my precum while jacking me off. I bit my lip and stifled a groan.

“So you do train with men?” I asked. “Before becoming Caretakers?”

“Well sure,” she said, “It’s how we learn how to do stuff like this.” She gestured to her wet fingers toying with my erection. “But we don’t train to be Caretakers. That’s an advanced position. We all start as support staff or Retinue members. I was Taskmaster to Lord Violet for four Earth years, before I got this gig. It’s why I knew how to give you support at Foggy Bottom.”

I felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of another Lord having sex with Lila, but I guessed it made sense. But four years? “I see.”

Lila laughed. “Not to worry baby,” she said. Lord Violet has been dead for thirty years now and he never was much fun. Spent most of his time on Harmony reading books. I like you better already.” Sure, you probably say that to all the heroes... “Speaking of fun, let’s do this now.”

She unfolded her legs, and stood up off of me. “Repeat after me,” she clapped her hands together. “I, Duncan Courtney, first of that name, do hereby authorize the expenditure of five coins for the purposes of unlocking the services and attentions of my retinue member: Quartermaster, current occupant: Jazz, extending to all replacements, forthwith and into perpetuity.” I furrowed my brow at her.

“Are you kidding? Can’t I just say “I unlock my Quartermaster?””

“Done,” the computer said. “Five coins have been deducted from your accounts, leaving you with forty-nine remaining.”

“Huh,” Lila said shrugging, “I guess you can.” She sat back down on the side of the arm-rest this time. “Jazz, get on your knees and blow your Lord while I go through this.”

Jazz looked at me and blushed. “Certainly, Madam Caretaker.”

And without further ado, Jazz approached the throne and sank to her knees in front of me, gently pushing my thighs aside and snuggling in close. Then she wrapped one hand around the base of my cock and lowered her mouth over half my length, smooth as silk, calm as a cucumber. Then her cheeks impacted and the suction hit me, and I gripped down on the armrests.

“Oh ... my ... shit!” I said, struggling against her skills. “Wow.” While I spasmed, Lila reached over and started idly playing with my hair.

“Shall I go on?” she asked. I stared up at her breasts thinking that this was what Heaven must be like.

“Please,” I said. “Oh ... fuck!” I looked down and Jazz was staring back at me with my dick clenched between her smiling teeth. I felt her tongue flicking back and forth across the head. “Please ... proceed.”

“Right, so as you can see below here, she’s Luvian, which is actually a subset of Homo Sapiens not found on Earth, but close enough to have only a few differences, aside from the cosmetic.” Lila glanced at Jazz’s bobbing head and grinned. “That blue is her natural hair color, and doesn’t she have beautiful skin?”

“Very lovely,” I agreed. She was very attractive, even if I tend to be partial to girls with my dick in their mouth. She slurped almost all of the way down, and her tongue corkscrewed like a tornado. I flinched against her efforts.

“She’s good, isn’t she?”

“Very uhh ... talented,” I managed, placing my hand on the back of her head. Her hair was silky and luxurious.

“She studied,” Lila said. “As you can see on her dossier, she graduated second in her class in “Pleasures of the Flesh,” our five-year long introduction to sex and the servicing of heroes.”

“Uggghh,” I said, shaking against her tongue-lashing. “Makes me almost scared of whoever graduated first,” I said. Lila petted my hair like I was a cat. It felt wonderful.

“That would be me,” she said. I looked up at her wide-eyed, and she giggled. “Jazz and I are old school-mates,” she said. “It’s part of why I chose her. We used to be umm ... close.” An image of Jazz and Lila scissoring each other popped into my mind, and I had to squeeze my pelvic muscles to keep from exploding.

“Academics are solid,” Lila continued. “Fifth in Western History. Eleventh in Modern Cultures. Fifth again in “The Earthling Male,” Fourteenth in Applied Earthling Perspectives...” She gestured once more and the screen scrolled down to list an astonishing number of listed with her percentage score and her placement out of a class of fifty.

“These are core courses that all Harmony personnel must take. Basic subject courses, station maintenance, things of that nature.” She scrolled down further. “These ones down here are the important ones. They’re like your graduate school. Specialized Training. Each girl who meets retinue standards can select which discipline they’d like to major in, as well as take complementary electives.”

Jazz continued to bob up and down on my dick, and I struggled to concentrate on what Lila was saying. I was getting close. This girl was a professional. Lila laughed at my expression, still playing with my hair. “You Earthlings are so much cuter than Harmony boys. They’re always so serious and moody.”

“I’d imagine that’s because a lot of Earthling women often prefer sullen douchebags with emotional problems.”

“Hmm,” she mused, staring at me. “I’ll take an Earthling any day. There’s just something fragile and tender about you boys. Like, you know that saying “live fast and die young?” I found that so curious when I first heard it, but I’ve since realized that it makes you unpredictable and as a corollary, extremely attractive.”

I shuddered as Jazz started speeding up. Her tongue was everywhere. “I guess I’ll just have to ... Ohh man...” I grabbed Jazz by the hair and started bucking against her. I couldn’t think straight. Her tongue was too powerful.

“You need to cum soon so you can better concentrate,” she said. “Here, let me.” She leaned over and kissed me, shoving her tongue into my mouth while lightly grazing her nails across my chest and stomach. She moaned sexily into my mouth, and the sensation overload was simply too much.

My cock swelled inside Jazz’s lips and I started erupting into her mouth, blasting her tonsils with thick sticky ropes of jism. My entire body shook with each spurt as I emptied my balls into Jazz’s undulating throat. I came for what felt like an hour while Lila sucked on my tongue, tasting of cherries and heaven. Good God, these girls are well-trained.

After a moment, she pulled away and turned back to the screen. “Moving right along,” she said. “As you can see near the bottom there, she graduated first in her class in Earthling weaponry, first in “First, the Sword,” and third in “Beasts and How to Slay Them.” For those classes, you won’t find a better candidate anywhere on this station.”

I stared straight ahead of me as my vision alternated between blurry and focused. If I had trouble concentrating before, it had become immeasurably worse. I glanced down to find Jazz staring up at me with those ethereal eyes, licking my balls, having effortlessly swallowed my entire load. One wet hand lazily slid up and down my shaft while the other tickled underneath my scrotum. Neither her nor my erection looked like they were going anywhere. I cleared my throat and tried to think.

“Excellent qualifications,” I stammered. “But aside from your academic prowess, what separates you from your contemporaries?” I’d had a few job interviews in my day. I knew the basic questions to ask. Lila nodded, approving of the question.

Jazz kept stroking and tickling but pulled her tongue back into her mouth to speak. “I’m afraid you’ll be my first assignment,” she said a bit awkwardly, “ ... so I have no applicable experience...” I frowned at her as scornfully as I could manage with her expertly giving me a handy.

“However, I’ve gone beyond the classroom with all of my weapons training, participating extensively in extra-curriculars, as well as role-playing storybook situations, running through any hypothetical digitals I could find, studying up on applicable challenges particular to 20th century Earthling males...”

“Such as...”

“The records indicated high levels of entitlement compared to previous generations, generally lackadaisical dispositions, and undeserved levels of confidence that lead to heightened risk-taking behaviour, as well as a reduced capacity for empathy, focus, and patience.”

“That’s the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard,” I said laughing. Jazz frowned, her eyes widening nervously. “Even if it is true...” I moved past it. “How would you deal with a Flatworm of Slye?”

“Flatworm of Slye,” she repeated. “Monster indigenous to Discord Five. Adult specimens reach up to fifteen meters in length, with a diameter of one half to two meters.” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! That is a huge goddamn worm... Lila must have seen the terror sweep across my face.

“Don’t worry baby, yours is an adolescent. Ten meters tops.” Like that’s so much better...

“They generally confine themselves to swampy environs, sometimes swimming up rivers or streams into neighboring bodies of fresh water, where they often encounter humans. They feed on land mammals primarily, latching onto the soft belly or face with an ovoid suckermouth lined with hook-like teeth that secure onto the flesh which they then consume with additional small mouthed protrusions that extend from the first, after first constricting their prey to death with powerful skeletal muscles.” Oh God, no. Nope nope nope. Fucking nope!

“They often consume only half of a corpse, before laying eggs into the stomach, which gestate...”

“Please stop,” I said. “That’s enough. How do I kill one?”

“It has no eyes but a very powerful sense of smell, capable of detecting several parts per million of blood in even fast-moving waters. It is especially drawn to primates, especially humans, supposedly because of soft skin and higher iron levels. Draw it out of the water with blood. Startle with fire or intense heat if possible. Sever into sections after disabling the mouth, then burn the body. Blunt weapons will prove ineffective. A high carbon content makes their bones incredibly strong.”