Chapter 33: Disillusion

"Trip, this way," Malcolm said and grabbed the Americans arm.

"Where are we going?"

"Officer's mess. You look like a man who needs a beer. Actually, more than one by the look of it," the tactical officer replied dryly.

They walked in. At this time of the day there wasn't much activity. In fact except for Pat and Ri Than, nobody was in. Pat made a point of walking up to him. She hugged and kissed him. "Well done, buddy."

Trip just snorted sarcastically, which confused her visibly.

"Ensign, do you think you can help me talk some sense into this man?" he heard Malcolm ask almost formally.

"Well, it worked once," Pat told him and she dragged him to a nearby table. He saw Malcolm amble off to order beer.

"What's wrong?" the young botanist asked him and her face turned into a worried scowl. She had seen that his eyes were filling with tears.

"If we had taken the asshole down back then, two girls wouldn't have been raped, including Admiral Matsuura's daughter."

He saw her shake her head. "You wouldn't have taken him down in the first place. This might hurt Trip, but Hoshi would have gotten the age-old song and dance: Well, cadet, you stripped naked, you can't be surprised if a man gets excited. As cynical as it sounds, something bigger had to happen and it happened."

"Damn, Pat, this isn't the dark ages," Trip insisted.

"No, but it isn't utopia either," Malcolm replied dryly. Trip was surprised that Pat also took a beer from the tactical officer. "You accused the captain of being stuck in the last century. Well, mate, you ran ahead to the next one and only now realize that nobody kept up with you."

"What do I tell these two girls," Trip groaned, burying his face in his palms. "Do I walk up to them and say: Well thank you for getting raped. Now we had enough on him to nail him to the wall?"

"Trip, look at me," Malcolm demanded. "If there is someone to blame for what happened to Matsuura's daughter, it is Matsuura himself. He was found dead in his home this morning with a suicide note next to him. He admitted that he knew the true story of what happened to Hoshi, because he'd been there and he also knew about the rape of the other girl. He helped cover it up in fear of the Vulcans shutting down Starfleet for good. He tried to get Black promoted away to a remote outpost, the way they'd gotten rid of M'Gambe."

"Now that worked out fucking brilliantly, didn't it," Trip growled. He felt Pat's hand on his as she tried to calm him down. Surprisingly, it worked.

"Sorry to burst your bubble mate," Malcolm continued calmly. "Take it from someone who knows it first hand. We are better than a lot of species out there, but we aren't the über-species that can do no wrong. That may happen on TV, but not out here. We have crooks, we have rapists and we have people like me – trained killers."

Trip saw Pat look at Malcolm with the same bafflement as he did himself.

"Technically it's highly classified, but frankly I don't give a toss anymore. There was a reason why I wanted to do that fight instead of T'Pol. I knew it needed to be brutal. T'Pol would have suffered with guilt for ages. I didn't lose a minute of sleep over it, because I was specifically trained not to."

"That's why your whole service record is classified," Trip stated the obvious.

Malcolm nodded. "I worked for a special branch of Starfleet intelligence. I had made it to Lieutenant-Commander. But all we ever did anymore was killing people. Back on Vulcan I offered the captain to kill V'Las. Would have been just another day in the office for me. My former superior would have ordered to kill the entire High Command. Should give you the idea."

"They demoted you because you quit?" Trip seethed. Malcolm shook his head, emptying his beer.

"I voluntarily accepted it, because the fleet doesn't have the rank of Lieutenant-Commander. That was the only way I could be assigned to this crew."

"Shit, Malcolm, and I was the reason you're now blocked from promotion for three years."

"Two years and five months, as our science officer would now almost certainly point out."

Even Trip had to snicker about Malcolm's dead-pan reply.

"Trip, that's your problem," Pat chipped in. "You aren't Jesus Christ. You can't take our sins upon yourself. You blame yourself for the fight with Malcolm, yet from what T'Pol told me, you got the short end of the stick, so Lieutenant Reed did a bit more than just defending himself."

He saw Malcolm nod at that. Pat wasn't done yet.

"You blamed yourself for what happened to T'Lara, although you were the one who put her back together. Now you blame yourself for something that is entirely the fault of Admiral Black and those who prevented his prosecution."

"I'm just disillusioned," Trip sighed. "I had thought we've evolved beyond such shit."

"The day will come, Trip. Just don't try to mark it on the calendar. That one hasn't been printed yet."

-=/=-

T'Pol was worried. Charles was packing his bag for the upcoming visit to his parents, but it was obvious that he paid little attention to what he was packing, else he would not have thrown T'Lara's most beloved pink sweater into his bag. It could cause discontent as the child would most likely wish to wear it today. She fished the garment out of the bag startling him.

"Charles, visit your sister and invite her to come with us. I do not trust my ability to deal with your emotional turmoil. T'Lara is with Hoshi as well. Bring them here. I will pack the bags."

-=/=-

Charles Tucker jr. did a double take. That was quite the landing party. He did know the young Japanese woman. It was Hoshi, whom Trip had once dated and then stopped doing so. Instead he had asked a year later if she could be adopted into the family, which of course she couldn't as her parents were still alive.

But the other two were a surprise – two Vulcans. There were no points in guessing who the older of the two was. She'd been all over the TV news, but the obvious difference was that she was holding Trip's hand.

"Finally," he heard his wife mutter.

The other one was quite obviously a child, although she looked a wee bit too old for being T'Pol's, unless Vulcans had children at ten or whatever their equivalent age was. He almost snickered seeing her clothes. A little girl running around in a bright pink sweater was nothing unusual, but this particular sweetheart had pointy ears.

"You must be Ms. T'Pol," he said and for want of knowledge about proper customs, he bowed in front of her, like Hoshi had once taught him.

"The correct address would be Lady T'Pol, but I believe such address to be illogical within ones family. I am T'Pol, she who is your son's wife."

Charles gasped. Maternal upset in three ... two ... one...

"Charles Anthony Tucker III. You had a wedding and you didn't even think to invite your own parents?" came the predictable inquiry from his wife of many years. He had to give it to her though, she didn't even mention the fact that their son's wife came from a different planet.

"Thought you wouldn't appreciate it," Trip muttered impassively. "Unless you'd appreciate Malcolm disemboweling someone."

He watched his son walk off towards the house, ignoring his parents and the companions he'd come with. Lizzy was standing on the porch, waiting for the customary hug, but he just walked past her and disappeared inside.

Charles jr turned to Hoshi with a questioning look.

"He's really down right now. That takes a while to explain."

-=/=-

T'Pol had always felt helpless in the presence of crying humans. Once Hoshi and herself had relayed the events of the last weeks, including the full details of T'Lara's and Hoshi's ordeal, both of her mate's parents were in tears. Only the blond woman, who had introduced herself as his sister Elizabeth, remained somewhat composed.

Thankfully they had brought Hoshi, who could console Charles' mother and to her surprise T'Lara had embraced her mates father, who handled the child with the same gentle touch as her mate usually did. Hearing the humans cry the little girl had come back from watching over her beloved adoptive father.

"Damn," her mate's father swore. "We are all sitting here pitying ourselves. What about Trip?"

T'Pol didn't answer as she saw T'Lara close her eyes.