Chapter 1: The decision

I made the decision about a week after my 28th birthday. This birthday had been like the last five, meaning pretty bleak. There was no family to party with - or at least share some cake. It's not that I had no family, just that we couldn't stand each other and I had no contact with them for years. I also had no real friends, just some acquaintances mainly from work but nobody I would have wanted to share that day with me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty much a loner and usually prefer it that way. It's just that I sometimes wish I had some person who I could trust, someone I could share parts of my life and thoughts with. As there was nobody like that, my birthday consisted of buying a small cake in a nearby bakery, eating it all (even though I felt lightly queasy afterwards) and going back to work.

You might wonder why I didn't just go out and find myself a girlfriend. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. I'm sure I could have found some nice girl to be my girlfriend. While I didn't consider myself good looking and actually was a bit overweight, I wasn't ugly as hell. I had a pretty good income as a self-employed computer technician. I lived in a good-sized house that could easily house a family. Yes, had I gone out and started looking, I'm sure I could have found me a girlfriend. It's just that I didn't want just any girl, I wanted something very specific and so far I wasn't able to find one that fit my bill. I probably wouldn't ever as my wishes were pretty much unrealistic.

I wanted a slave.

Of course, many people these days are into BDSM, playing with it or living it in thousands of different variants, each the way they are happy with it. Unfortunately, I was on the more extreme end of the spectrum, what I wanted was someone to abuse any way my sick brain could conceive. I would pretty much be the stereotypical drunk abusive asshole. With the two notable exceptions that I didn't drink (I actually hated alcohol) and that I wanted a girl that would actually be happy in that situation. To me those made a big difference to my self-image, although most people would think different for sure.

There might be some girls out there, who would actually like it, but I had no way to find them. In addition, and even if I did they had way too much choice in potential partners for anyone to even consider me.

Which is why I was single at 28 years old and had been for the last twelve years.

Getting back to the beginning, I decided to actually pay for a girl to live my fantasies out with. Once I did, I would probably realize that those fantasies of mine were not only unrealistic but also not really what would make me happy. And that would finally allow me to start a relationship with a "normal" girl and be happy in it.

The decision having been made, finding someone to do this for money would probably not be much easier than finding someone to do it because it made them happy. A professional prostitute, even if I should find one that would accept what I wanted, would be way too expensive. My next idea was to post an ad on the usual BDSM sites. Even though, if anyone answered to it, they would probably be lunatics. I thought it was worth a try anyway.

The ad read:

Searching for female slave to hire for extreme abuse for one week.

For one week, I will own you completely. Your feelings, wishes and needs will be completely ignored. You will be hurt physically and emotionally at my whim. Should you find you can't handle what I'm doing to you, as your only option you can abort the week at any time.

Any limits have to be discussed and agreed on beforehand and cannot be changed by either of us afterwards. Under no circumstances will I accept one of the following as a limit: Sexual penetration of your mouth, vagina or anus; pain and degradation in general; watersports and scatology.

Assuming you keep up for the full 168 hours, you will be paid $5000 for the week. If you at any point abort during the week, you will be paid $15 for every full hour.

The response to the ads was pretty much as expected, even though I got more responses than I thought. There were 34 people telling me I was an idiot, seven people that wanted to negotiate the limits and/or payments, five guys that told me they'd do it and finally two girls that told me they had no limits and to just do with them whatever I wanted. No thank you. Assuming the last two were no fakes, they at least showed they did not think anything through.

Finally, two weeks after I posted the ads, there was a message by a user named "SlaveSlutSarah".