Chapter 4

The doubter (Unpronounceable), whined some more and finished with, "It's Change," with the capital 'C'. Everybody in the room knew it was there ... even the ceiling.

"I hate Change," (Unpronounceable) said, "It means that I have to adjust my comfortable life to fit in. Hate Change. Change upsets me so."

He/she/whatever grouched continuously, getting louder and whining ... winding up like a turbocharger until...

"Shut up, (Unpronounceable). I can see it was a mistake having you on the board,"

And he/she/whatever wasn't.

Elizabeth Caretaker said, "Who did that?"

Every one ... including the ceiling denied it with various forms of, Not me ... don't look at me ... I didn't.

The strange voice said, "Hating change is denying the Universe ... the only constant is change, you board members will have to do with what you got."

The more excepting (unpronounceable) said, "We don't have a tie-breaker now. What will we do in the event of a tie?"'

The voice said, "You mean, you've been making decisions by VOTE? No wonder nothing ever gets done!"

Varied statements and finger-pointing ensued. Most of the finger-pointing was at the now vacant chair.

"It has worked for centuries," said Elizabeth.

The voice said, "What's your win/loss percentage? How many Damsels and how many heroes have you lost?"

"This century?"

"Over the course of history."

"Four point five rescues average before we lose the hero. Seven out of ten Damsels."

"You rescue seven?" said the voice, "That's not bad."

"No."

"You lose seven!?!" the voice said, "Out of TEN?"

A few fixtures fell from the walls and a block of tile dropped ... which caused the ceiling to complain.

"Why?" asked the voice.

"The war is unpopular. The heroes are the ones that flee to Canada. Draft card burners abound. Students won't take Reserve Officer Training," said one of the two (unpronounceable) members.

"Straight men are claiming to be gay. The smartest go to college ... even if they have to go for years and years," explained the other (unpronounceable).

"The democrats are actively seeking to stop the use of firearms in America, the universities have been subverted by Situation Ethics and the lawyers sue at the drop of a hat. Men are afraid," said Elizabeth.

The ceiling lisped, "They're afraid to speak out, they're afraid of women. Women are leaving traditional roles behind. We tried recruiting in the Soviet Union. Men who are perfect for our needs either turn themselves in or disappear."

Elizabeth said, "Recovering rings has become a full time job in the CCCP."

The ceiling, ... mumbled, it wasn't used to holes. "Even Australia and New Zealand don't put out the heroic archetype..."

"Money drives everything," said the first of the (unpronounceables).

"Veterans, our biggest labor pool, are being cheated by their very own Administration." said the ceiling. It was lispy but understandable.

"It's getting worse every day," Elizabeth said.

"You have a Flintkote, now."

"He should have never made it through the portal," Elizabeth said. "He's the worst possible Hero. I'll be surprised if he succeeds with a Green Card Rescue ... a GCR is the easiest of all rescues."

"I know that!"

"And his plumbing doesn't function!"

"What?"

"He is terribly wounded in his lower abdomen," Elizabeth said.

"And?"

"He CAN'T GET IT UP!!"

"The unit will fix his unit," said the voice smugly.

"You can't guarantee that ... it's the worst I've ever seen. And, believe me ... what with a 4.5 average survivor rate, I've seen some really bad ones," said the Unit from its room.

"Who said that?" asked the voice.

"I did," said the Restoration tank.

"You can't talk," said the voice.

"Bet me!" said the tank.

"Well ... you're not supposed to," said the Voice, "So shut up."

"Won't!"

"I'll shut you up," argued the Voice.

"And kill the only hope Cassandra's got?"

"Shit!"

"And fall back in it!" said the tank.

The ceiling said, "I'll be back, I need to wash the dishes. Just remember ... we need this guy."

"Wash the dishes?" asked the Voice. "When did that happen?"

"You and your bunch have been gone for centuries," said the ceiling. "Things break and magic can only do so much."

"What magic? Everything here is scientifically possible," said the Voice.

"And you're talking to a ceiling," said the ceiling.

"Oh ... yeah ... right."