You are traveling through Millie's Vast Expanse – a land of rape and murder. A place where wrongs are perpetrated with relish and revenge is extracted with primeval ecstasy. The Expanse is as wide as your imagination and as deep as your lust. Filled with adultery, fornication, brutal betrayal and occasionally tender mercies. In one long stretch of the Expanse is a particular place and time where misogynistic bosses use coercion and fear to have their way with their female employees.
He's an aggressive man who got where he was going with cunning and stealth. He has hunted and trapped his prey in such a shrewd way they become willing participants in their own abuse. He enjoys his female employees as playthings. Taking from them what he wants and giving them what he wishes them to have. Afterward, he abandons them to their ordinary, mundane mind-numbing existence. It's the 1980's in America, greed is good, but power is better. We are cruising at 30,000 feet and about to begin our descent into Millie's Vast Expanse, buckle up it's going to be a tumultuous journey.
"The hair – They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls ... and just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips – and when they touched, yours were like ... that first swallow of wine ... after you just crossed the desert. Tits! Whoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya ... Like secret searchlights. Mmm. And legs – I don't care if they're Greek columns ... or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em, passport to heaven." Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Sent of a Woman 1992
It was years ago. Even so, the sweet memory often invades my thoughts. I become cloaked in a haunting sentimental desire to replicate that wonderful experience. Often, I become melancholy filled with a longing to recreate those adrenaline-charged hours of erogenous ecstasy. I can only regain my equilibrium by indulging myself with a conscious waking dream of the whole exhilarating affair. After, comes the guilt and the shame. My betrayal hurts me but I keep it to myself. For only I fell from grace therefore, only I should bear the pain.
Seeing the report in the paper brings it all back to me in a brilliant blinding flash. I remember the smell of his drink sitting on the tray as the plane started its descent. He winked at me, then hurriedly drank down the liquid and handed the stewardess his empty glass. Thurgood turned and looked at me his blue eyes were so brilliant and kind looking. "Don't be nervous Anna we will be on the ground in a minute," he took my hand holding it smiling at me as the knot in my stomach grew tighter. I hated flying but his mighty hand calmed me, at least somewhat. "I have such plans for you on our free time. I intend that we celebrate at this convention our good year. You know you are one of my most successful sales reps this year." He squeezed my hand. His calming deep melodic voice kept reassuring me about our safety as he continued to compliment me on my work. Then he said something that caught me completely off guard.
"You are quite beautiful, my dear. I have always had a soft spot for redheads. And you, my dear Anna, you are quite stunning." I was confused by his compliment. I knew he was happily married and likewise, he was certainly aware I was as well. I blushed and cast my eyes downward, "Now none of that my dear." His hand touched my chin and lifted my face to him. "What lovely eyes, dark green I could get lost in them. I'm certain your husband is quite happy with you." He leaned toward me I wanted to turn away. I should have turned away. I didn't and his lips met mine soft hot lips locked to mine. I not only let him kiss me I returned the kiss. God, what was I doing? I felt a jolt as the wheels hit the runway. We broke apart and he turned to the front.
"It was certainly my pleasure to kiss such a lovely woman as you," he turned back to me. "That took your mind off it didn't it Anna Marie," he broke into a big smile. I realized he was just playing with me to keep me from worrying. At least I thought that was what it was. I hated the way I looked, freckles on a grown woman. I'm plump and plain he would never be interested in a woman like me. His wife was the picture of perfection. I blushed hard.
"Thanks, you had me going for a minute."
"I'm serious." I didn't believe him he couldn't be serious about anything with me. I certainly had no right to do anything with him. After all, I couldn't I was happily married. The airport was scary to me all those people rushing around. When we boarded the shuttle bus, it was crowded. I set next to Thurgood and the black man sat on the other side of me. Soon some sat next to him and another person sat next to Thurgood. We crammed right up against each other. Thurgood leaned down to my ear whispering.
"That black man is getting excited being so close to you. Look at his massive pecker straining against his jeans." I glanced at his lap no one had to guess how big it was. The monster showed through the material and plainly visible. A long thick stick of man meat barely covered by the old worn jeans. I knew it wasn't me he was turned on by, for the man paid no attention to me he just stared blankly ahead.
"Have you ever fucked a nigger?" his hushed voice spat the awful word out. I shook my head and forced myself to look away from the man's crotch. "Do you want to?" I shook my head again. "Are you sure?" I just sat there a strange feeling coming over me. When we got off the bus, he stopped the black man and talked to him in a low voice. The man smiled and looked at me then touched his hand to his little ball cap and walked away. I wanted to ask what he told the man but didn't dare. I saw a strange side to my boss I had never seen before and it made me nervous.
After we had checked into the hotel, it was off to registration. This was followed by drinks with executives of a company I sell to. The senior foreign managers were quite excited about a new line of product about to be released. More meetings and then we set up our station to show off our wares to the many companies attending the convention. I won't bore you with details about our goods or even how the show and tell went. We would be here three full days and two nights. I just wanted out there. I hated sells I always have, but it is all I know.
When at last we were able to leave all I wanted was to go back to the hotel, take a bath and go to bed. Thurgood had other plans, we went to a swanky restaurant. He ordered for me, salad, lobster, wine and a dessert. He had me set beside him in a small booth at the back. We carried on a polite, forced conversation throughout dinner. I was in my mid-thirties at the time while he was over sixty and I felt I had nothing in common with him. After the last bite of the meal was finished, he pulled a cigar out of his inside coat pocket and announced, "I know you don't mind," as he lit it. In point of fact, I did mind but I kept my mouth shut.
We continued our meaningless conversation for a minute or two while the disgusting blue smoke hung thick in the air. I began to cough and Thurgood unwillingly snubbed out his smoke. Putting his arm around me he drew me nearer to him as gooseflesh formed all over my body. He moved his mouth down to my ear and his deep voice provoked an agitated feeling in me. The anxiety was far from unpleasant as he whispered adorations to my beauty and grace. His warm breath moved over my ear sending shudders down my spine as his mighty hand massaged my arm. Meekly I offered a mild protest, which he just ignored as he told me how much he had wanted me.
I was turning bright red as my heart began to beat like some bass drum pounding out a rhythm. I could actually feel the blood rushing through my veins. He told me how much he had looked forward to this trip and how he had planned this night for my pleasure. I kept disputing his claims of my beauty and rebutting his advances. However, timid my protest was presented I was very earnest in all I told him. I knew if it continued I would be consumed with guilt, and yet, I wanted him so very badly at that moment.
He kissed me and fondled my body tenderly, yet firmly. Thurgood's tongue darted around my ear and he nibbled on my neck. This went on for a good thirty minutes. My resistance faded after four or five minutes. He was and attractive man. He was ever the gentleman and possessed a natural magnetism. Even in his sixties he was still a powerful man, I tried to resist. I really made an honest effort to shun his attentions. When our mouths met, I felt this tingling fill me as an almost electric exhilaration flooded my entire being. After a few moments of clutching and kissing his tongue invaded my mouth. It tasted of the bourbon and wine he had consumed. In a strange way, his kiss was quite intoxicating having nothing to do with wine or bourbon. I gathered all my strength and broke our embrace.
Falling into his chest I began to cry, "We can't do this." My tears ran down my face then fell to his suit coat. He pushed me away and drank from his glass then set it down.
"Fine suit yourself. You know your review is coming up soon, I would really hate to find it necessary to give you a poor rating. I think that might contribute to some overly negative results for you," He threatened me. This was not some veiled menace it was overt. "I just know you have a bright future with this company. The only one that can fuck it up is you."
I don't think I had ever heard him say an unkind word to me before. I know he had never used such vulgar language around me. I sipped my wine sitting silently as he finished his drink. He pulled some bills from his pocket and threw them down on the table.
.... There is more of this story ...