Chapter 2

The next morning Tad bounced into the kitchen to find his Mom sitting at the breakfast table with her cup of coffee and a dreamy look on her face. He was wearing his sweats and running shoes, ready to leave the house as soon as he could without making her suspicious.

Mark had been gone by the time he'd cleaned the puke out of the trashcan at the side of the house. The stench of bourbon and pizza would have raised too many questions with his mom and he didn't want to talk about what happened. Not yet, anyway. He'd taken a long shower after cleaning up the living room and resolved to stop dreaming about being with Mark. It had been a mistake, but he had learned something from the experience; he wanted more. And that meant coming out about who he was.

"Looks like you had a good date," Tad asked with a forced smile.

"He was very nice," Mom said. "Where's Mark? I figured you two would be sleeping off a pizza and video game hangover."

"Naw, we called it an early night. He had something to do today. I'm gonna run down to the shopping center and get a smoothie."

"Have fun." She was so distracted by her date she barely even looked his way.

He jogged down the driveway to turn left at the street. His ass was still complaining about the treatment it had received, but it didn't hurt exactly. He was just more aware of it, like he would be a sore muscle. At the same time it felt oddly satisfying. Now that he knew how good it felt to be fucked, he craved the feeling again. Only this time he wouldn't waste his time doing it with someone he couldn't trust.

Fucking Mark, he grumbled as he picked up the pace. Instead of dwelling on being hurt he let himself get angry. Mark seemed fine with sucking a dick as long as no one ever found out, but he drew the line at a kiss? The stupid prick. Fuck him anyway.

By the time he made it out of the subdivision, Tad was sweating freely and starting to get his runner's high. His legs felt weightless as he ran, two steps to breathe in, two steps to breathe out. Running was his thing and he'd only played soccer because Mark wanted him to. When he got back to school on Monday he decided to talk to the coach about switching to long distance running instead of playing soccer.

The shopping center near his house had a huge number of stores facing a large central parking lot. During the holidays the place was nuts, but on a quiet Saturday morning it was nearly empty. Tad headed across the empty parking lot to his favorite smoothie place. The brightly lit shop was the only one open at this time of the morning.

He slowed to a walk to keep from panting when he got inside. There weren't any customers, but he noticed the tall college guy he'd seen before. When he pushed through the door, the guy looked up from his tablet. He was slim, with light brown hair that hung over his eyes, smooth skin, and a nice smile. A bit of ink peeked out from under his short sleeved shirt making Tad wonder what he looked like with his shirt off.

"Welcome to The Blend. What can I get you?" he asked giving Tad an obvious once over.

"Blueberry plus Protein," Tad answered as he unzipped the back pocket on his sweats to pull out his wallet.

"Comin' right up." He began to load up the ingredients into the stainless steel blender. "What's your name?"

"Tad," he said and glanced at his name tag. "Duncan, right? You go to UCF?"

"Yeah." Adding the protein powder to the blender he glanced over again. "What about you?"

"I'll start this fall," Tad said and leaned against the counter to watch Duncan finish the prep.

"So, Tad," he said as he started the blender. "What do you do for fun?"

"Run," he said and gestured to his sweats. "Xbox. Fuck around. The usual." Duncan was clearly sending interesting vibes, but Tad didn't know the protocol. "What about you?"

"Mostly fuck around," Duncan answered with a wild grin and a hard stare. The blender beeped so he grabbed a cup and filled it to the top with the lavender colored smoothie. "You interested?" the question was subtle and could have meant anything, but Tad knew what he was asking.

"Yeah, I am," Tad said as his face heated. He had to say something before he got in over his head. "I just don't know what I'm doing."

Duncan's smile softened as he nodded. "You out yet?"

"Not yet," Tad answered, feeling like he was talking in some strange kind of code. "But soon."

"It gets easier when you're out," he said as he put the lid and straw on the cup. "Let's cut to the chase. You're hot and I'd like to hang out sometime."

"Like a date?" Tad asked, feeling embarrassed and awkward about the whole conversation.

Duncan shrugged. "If you want. Or we could just screw. That'll be five-forty."

"Just like that," Tad laughed as he handed over a five and a one.

"I'll give you my number. You call if you're ever in the mood." Duncan jotted his number on a receipt and passed it along with the change.

"What time do you get off?" Tad asked, shocked at his own boldness.

"About an hour after you call me," Duncan said with a cheeky grin.

The rest of the day Tad spent helping his mom around the house. There had been no word from Mark, but his conversation with Duncan had been like a healing salve. Playing chicken with himself, he decided to text Duncan at six to see if he was serious. As the time got closer, his mother began to notice his anxiety.

"You okay?" she asked as they folded clothes in the living room. It was hard to sit with her on the same couch where Mark had fucked him. It felt like she should have been able to tell somehow.

Tad took a deep breath. "I may have a date tonight."

"I see," she said. "Wanna talk about it?"

That was the problem right there. He did want to talk about it, but that would mean coming out first and he wasn't sure he was ready. Before he could answer, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."

"Is that your date?" she teased as he stepped past her.

Tad knew in his heart who it was before he opened the door. Mark stood there pale faced with his eyes on his fingers.

"What's up?" Tad asked with as much energy as he could muster.

"Hey," he said. "You busy?"

"Just folding clothes with Mom. Come on in." He stood back to let Mark in, his stomach clenching and churning. When Mark stepped in, Tad closed the door and returned to the couch without another word.

His Mom was looking between the two of them with a blank expression. She gathered her folded clothes and stood. "I'm gonna go put these away and start cleaning my bathroom," she announced while giving Tad a significant look.

Tad returned her look with a nod and continued folding clothes. Mark stood quietly until Mom left the room.

"I owe you an apology," Mark whispered.

"You don't owe me a thing," Tad answered. "Forget it ever happened. I have."

"That's just it," Mark said as he sat next to Tad on the couch. "I can't stop thinking about what happened."

"I'm gay," Tad announced as he folded another shirt. "And I'm going to come out."

Mark gasped. "Dude, you can't do that to me! The guys on the team will give us so much shit!"

Tad looked at him. "I'm not outing you, but I'm not gonna keep pretending. If you don't want to have a gay friend, then you're welcome to end things."

Mark got up and paced around the room. "You don't understand. I've never been able to get off with a girl before. I lied about Rachel. She dumped me because nothing ever worked!"

Tad stopped folding and looked at his friend. He'd known Mark for years and had always felt an attraction to him. While other guys would locker talk about hot girls, Tad had to fight to keep his eyes off of Mark. Watching him struggle now was hard, but it had hurt much worse when Mark pushed him away like he was disgusted by what they'd done.

"I'll always be your friend, but I need to do this for me." When Mark looked over with pain in his eyes, Tad added, "I'm glad my first time was with you."

Mark pinched his lips together, anger coloring his skin. "If you were my friend you'd give me some time to work this out."

"And if you were mine, you'd have stayed last night instead of making me go through this alone." Tad looked away and clenched his jaw to keep from making a fool out of himself.

When the front door slammed, Tad grabbed the next shirt and began folding it. Mom came back in she sat next to him on the couch and waited.

"How much of that did you hear," Tad asked without looking at her.

"Enough," she said as she put her hand on his shoulder. "I could always tell how you felt about him. And I still love you, no matter what."

Tad nodded, keeping his eyes anywhere but her face. "Thanks, Mom."

"So I'm guessing your date tonight isn't with Mark," she said, making him laugh out loud.

"No," Tad answered. "I needed to talk to someone ... like me. There's this guy at the Smoothie place who asked me out. I wanted to see what it was like to go out with him once."

"Be careful," his mother warned with a stern look. "But have fun. You deserve a little happiness. It's been hard to watch you struggle through this. You can take the car if you want. I'll be working from home tonight."

After they finished folding and putting away their clothes, Tad picked up his phone and texted Duncan. It's Tad from this morning. You wanna hang out?

He put the phone on the counter to keep himself from compulsively checking it. While he waited for a reply he got dressed to go out. If nothing else he could go see a movie or hang out at the bowling alley. He had just pocketed the phone and was heading out the door when he get a beep.

I'm hanging out with some friends. Wanna come over?

After getting to the address Duncan had given him and figuring out where to park, he approached the door to apartment 317 with a flutter in his stomach. His knock was answered by a guy who looked like he bench-pressed small cars.

"Is Duncan here?" Tad asked.

"Yeah, come on in," he said and stepped back. "Hey Dunc! You order fresh meat?"

"Give him a break, Tiny," Duncan said with a laugh as he walked up and gave Tad a quick hug. "Come on in and I'll introduce you around."

After meeting Tiny, Dave, and Wallis, Tad was left on his own to hang out while Duncan went back into the kitchen to finish cooking. Duncan said something about pan seared chicken breast with lemon and capers, but all Tad knew was that it smelled wonderful. The television was playing a soccer game and the four of them watched in silence for a while.

"So how'd you meet Dunc?" Tiny asked. His beer can was nearly invisible in his giant fist.

"Sometimes I run from my house to get a smoothie. I kept running into Duncan there, so today when we chatted and he gave me his number."

"You're gay, too?" Tiny asked without any judgement in his tone.

"Yeah," Tad answered, half expecting some kind of reaction. No one even blinked.

"Cool, he's been lonely," Dave said, then leaned over to whisper. "Fair warning, don't mention Richard."

Tad was feeling a little bewildered, but nodded anyway. "So you guys all go to school here?"

"Yeah, don't you?" asked Wallis.

"Next year," Tad said and took another sip of beer.

"Yo Dunc," Tiny yelled. "When'd you start robbin' the cradle, man?"

There was a laugh from the kitchen. "That's it, I'm spittin' in your plate."

Tiny reached over to playfully punch Tad's arm. "Then I'm swappin' with Fresh Meat, here. He'll appreciate your sauce more than I will."

Tad grinned at the laughter, amazed that he'd been accepted so easily by Duncan's friends. If he ever brought Duncan to meet his friends it wouldn't be anything like this.

Tad's phone rang, so he dug it out of his pocket to see who it was. Mark's name made his stomach clench, but he didn't want to avoid him. Stepping down the hallway for a little privacy, he swiped the screen to accept the call. "What's up?"