Chapter 13

I was dumbfounded; I was frozen on the spot. I neither moved nor said anything for what seemed like forever. The girl of my dreams was naked in my bed, and she wanted me to help her with something. Do something, but what?

"Uh??? Whaaat exactly are you asking me to do?" I said as I was slowly backing away.

"I'd like you to take a picture of me using this vibrator. I told you that you shouldn't use your school camera for this. And after you take the picture maybe we could do even ... maybe even do more." She paused. And when it became obvious I wasn't going to say anything she added, "I'd need this. Please?"

I immediately looked her in the eyes. "Why? Why exactly do you need this? Can you tell me?"

She thought a moment then looking away as if ashamed she mouthed the word, "No."

I sat down next to her on the bed and covered her back up. I gently put my hand on the side of her face, and rubbed her cheek with my thumb and asked, "Does this have anything to do with the fact you saw your Dad today? Did it scare you this much? Are you just looking for something to help you forget what your dad did to you?"

Val clung the bed covers to her chest tight enough that her knuckles turned white and softly said, "Maybe. I don't really know. I do care about you. Will you forgive me if I let you do this with me?"

I was both sad and mad at the same time, and I'm afraid that the first tone that came out of my mouth was anger, "Well that's just stupid Valerie. You have no reason to ask for my forgiveness. It's not your fault that man raped you. And besides even if he hadn't done that to you, and you wanted to have sex with a guy just because you kind of care about them or wanted forgiveness, isn't a good enough reason. It has to be more. It has to be special; with someone thats special."

"What are you trying to say? Do you not like me," Val asked.

"Oh Val. I'm saying that sex has to be with someone you love. Like how I love you."

"You love me?" I wasn't sure if Val was asking or repeating what I had said.

I didn't stick around to ask; I just turned around and went to the living room. A few minutes later, I was surprised when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I saw Val, who was now in my robe. She sat down next to me on the couch.

"I would still like you to take a photo of me. Do you think you could do that?" Don't worry. I have a swimsuit under this robe." Val told me.

I just nodded my head yes then she dropped her robe. It was a cute one-piece swimsuit, with a hole exposing her belly button. I just looked at her. She let out a sigh and sat down next to me.

She was silent for a few moments and without looking at me; she started to say, "I'm sorry I didn't realize your feelings for me. If I had, I probably wouldn't have done things the way I had." She put her face in her hands. "I'm also sorry that I don't exactly know what my own feelings are at the moment. I don't think this is the best time for me. My emotions are kind of messed up. But I do know that I really do have feelings for you. Maybe when I get my mind cleared up, I can give you a better answer. But for now, I hope this will help."

Val gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Val then said, "I do hope we can still go to the dance together." When I smiled and nodded yes she asked, "Can we talk?"

We talked for half an hour about all kinds of things. I found out that Val knew about her cousin's feelings for her. I got my own personal camera, and I started taking pictures of Val in different poses. We talked the entire time.

Then I finally asked, "I hope you can forgive me for asking, but this is something that has been bothering me for a while. You once said that your dad accused you of not being a virgin. Why would he say such a thing?"

More silence came. I was afraid I had done something stupid and permanently damaged our relationship. But then she left to put her clothes back on. When she came back she spoke slowly at first.