Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 989

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

POST SURGERY

“You’ll be fine,” the doctor said after finishing the young woman’s surgery. But, she asked, “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?” The surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek.

The girl was alarmed.

“What’s the matter doctor? I will be all right, won’t I?”

He replied, “Yes, you’ll be fine. It’s just that no-one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.”


Some Important Thoughts

· If you attempt to rob a bank you won’t have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.

* Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

* What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

* If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

* Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?

* The letter W, in English, is called double U. Shouldn’t it be called double V?

* Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

* Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

* The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”.

* Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

* 110 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

* Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

* The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.

* If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.

* Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

* If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

* If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we’ll just call it “2’s Day”.

(Save this until 2022 – because it does fall on a Tuesday!!)

 
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