Chapter 893

This one is compliments of Pigs41

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

“I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”

“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.

“Do you have the container it comes in?”

“Yes!” said the blonde, “I will go get it.

“She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”

This group is compliments of Smokey Joe:

Obituary of Someone Else.

I know that all of you were saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our committee’s most valuable members -- Someone Else.

Someone’s passing created a vacancy that will be difficult to fill.

Someone Else has been with us for many years, and for every one of those years, Someone Else did far more than the normal person’s share of the work.

Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results. Someone Else can work with that group.

Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone’s lips, “Let Someone Else do it.”

It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the largest givers in the committee.

Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed that Someone Else would make up the difference.

Someone Else was a wonderful person, sometimes appearing super-human, but a person can only do so much.

Were the truth known, everyone expected too much of Someone Else.

Now Someone Else is gone.

We wonder what we are going to do. Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it?

Who is going to do the things Someone Else did?

Remember, we can’t depend on Someone Else anymore.

We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

We have done so much for so long with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

Things impossible I can do now.

Miracles, unfortunately will take a little bit longer.

So stop fucking pushing.

(I had this on the back of my safety helmet when I was working)