Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 848

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

These are compliments of J & B

Rachel Notley is Premier of Alberta, Canada politician

THOSE CIRCLE-FLIES

A cowboy from Alberta attends a social function where Rachel Notley is trying to gather support for her Carbon Tax. Once she discovers the cowboy is from Ralph Klein’s home area, she starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.

As she was doing that, she kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head.

The cowboy says, “Y’all havin’ some problem with them circle flies?”

Notley stopped talking and said “Well, yes, if that’s what they’re called; but I’ve never heard of circle flies.”

“Well, ma’am,” the cowboy replies, “Circle flies hang around ranches. They’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.”

“Oh” Notley replies as she goes back to rambling. But, a moment later, she stops and bluntly asks, “Are you calling me a horse’s ass?”

“No ma’am.” the cowboy replies, “I have too much respect for the citizens of this Province to call their Premier a horse’s ass.”

“That’s a good thing” Notley responds.

After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Alberta drawl, says

“Hard to fool them flies though.”


After retiring from the Marine Corps, a former Drill Instructor Sergeant took a job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit snugly under his shirt and wasn’t noticeable when he wore his suit jacket.

On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-ass punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk, he looked around the room and made eye contact with each and every student. A strong breeze through the window made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Dead Silence, The rest of the school year went very smooth...

 
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