Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 723

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

This is the suggestions I get from my Editor/proof reader!!
Recipé:
One bunch celery
4 carrots
2 baking potatoes
3 cups water
1 pinch salt
1 750ml bottle of white lightning

Dice veggies to ¼” cubes.
Bring water to a rolling boil.
Add veggies and boil for 5 mins.
Turn heat off, add salt, and wait 20 mins, allowing veggies to cook.
Cool in refrigerator for 30 mins.
Add white lightning and feed to a rabbit.

Result is One STEWED Rabbit!!!!!!!!!!!

MURPHY’S LAWS OF COMBAT
1. You are not a superman
2. If it’s stupid, but works, it’s not stupid.
3. Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
5. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
6. Never share a foxhole with someone braver than you are.
7. If your attack is going really well, it’s an ambush.
8. No plan survives the first contact intact.
9. All five second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.
10. Try to look unimportant because the bad guys may be low on ammo.
11. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.
12. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
13. The important things are always simple.
14. The simple things are always hard.
15. The easy way is always mined.
16. If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.
17. When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.
18. Incoming fire has the right of way.
19. Friendly fire – isn’t.
20. If the enemy is in range, “‘SO ARE YOU”.
21. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
22. Beer math is: two beers times 37 men = 49 cases.
23. Things that must be together to work, usually can’t be shipped together.
24. Radio’s will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
25. Anything you do can get you shot – including doing nothing.
26. Tracers work both ways.
27. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
28. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can’t get out.
29. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
30. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
31. Murphy was a grunt.

 
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