Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 576

I decided to go to the local mosque for the first time to see what it was all about. I sat down and the Imam came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said: “By the will of Allah and the prophet Mohammed - you will walk today. I told him I wasn’t paralysed, I only had a small bunion on my left foot. He came back and laid his hands on me again and looking skywards, earnestly repeated his mantra: “By the will of Allah and the prophet Mohammed - you will walk today.

Once again, I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

After prayers I stepped outside -- and guess what!! --

MY CAR WAS GONE!!!


Political Correctness per Harry Truman!

What is meant by the modern term referred to as ‘POLITICAL CORRECTNESS’...

The definition is found in 4 telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri. The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and Gen Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945 ... The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war - not a word has been added or deleted!

(1) Tokyo, Japan

0800-September 1,1945

To: President Harry S Truman

From: General D A MacArthur

Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender

Documents, any last minute instructions?

(2) Washington, D C

1300-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur

From: H S Truman

Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

(3) Tokyo, Japan

1630-September 1, 1945

To: H S Truman

From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz

Wildo Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

(4) Washington, D C

2120-September 1, 1945

To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz

From: H S Truman

Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!

Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what ‘POLITICAL CORRECTNESS’ really means...


The Haircut

Blessed are those that can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

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