Jokes and Giggles
Chapter 494

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Three Ladies in a Sauna

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound, the young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at her questionly, "That was my pager," She said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear.

When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand."

The Older Woman felt very low-tech. Not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The older woman finally said..."Well, look at that ... I'm getting a fax!"


This one is compliments of Dom

This from a poster I came across. I had to hold down the laughter because I was around polite company.

"I am sick and tired of answering questions about my dog! Yes, he mauled six people wearing Trump T-shirts, four people wearing Hillary T-shirts, 2 other Independent voters, nine teenagers wearing pants down past their crack, three flag-burners, and a Pakistani Uber driver during a holiday high fee time of year.

For the last time, THIS DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!!! No, I don't approve of his licking his ass all the time but he says it helps get the bad taste out of his mouth."


This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit

So this is a conversation between a man and a woman. Please note that she asks 5 or 6 questions which he answered quite simply and she is speechless after answering only one question.

Critical Thinking

At Its Best!

Woman: Do you play golf?

Man: Yes

Woman: How many times a week?

Man: Usually about 3

Woman: How much do you pay per round?

Man: Usually about $35.00 which includes lunch. (This is where it gets scary!)

Woman: And how long have you been playing?

Man: About 20 years, I suppose

Woman: So a round costs $35.00 and you have 3 rounds a week which puts your spending each month at about $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?

Man: Correct

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?

Man: Correct

Woman: Do you know that if you didn't play so much golf, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you play golf?

Woman: No.

Man: Where's your Ferrari?

... and there ya go!

 
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