Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 215

"Lesbionics it is a lesson in explainations...

  1. What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?
    A licker cabinet

  2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?
    A Klondyke

  3. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
    Fur Traders.

  4. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
    Well Hung.

  5. What do you call lesbian twins?
    Lick-a-likes.

  6. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
    One's a snack cracker; the other's a crack snacker.

  7. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 govt workers?
    100 people that don't do Dick.


A heartwarming story of life...

Once upon a time a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?" The princess said, "No!!!!" And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew jets all over the world and drove hot cars and chased skinny, long-legged, big-breasted flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Captain Morgan rum and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The End


The City of Dallas, Texas passed an ordinance stating that if a driver is pulled over by law enforcement and is not able to provide proof of insurance, the car is towed.

To retrieve the car after being impounded, they must show proof of insurance to have the car released.

This has made it easy for the City of Dallas to remove uninsured cars.

Shortly after the "No Insurance" ordinance was passed, the Dallas impound lots began to fill up and were full after only nine days.

Over 80% of the impounded cars were driven by illegals.

Now, not only must they provide proof of insurance to have their car released, they have to pay for the cost of the tow; a $350 fine and $20 for every day their car is kept in the lot.

Guess what?

Accident rates have gone down 47% and Dallas ' solution gets uninsured drivers off the road WITHOUT making them show proof of nationality. I wonder how the US Justice Department will get around this one.

Just brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?


This is just a thought from Gary...

A Last Wish

My biggest wish is to die at the ripe old age of 85 -- from being shot by a jealous husband!!

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