Chapter 9

As she was preparing for dinner the next evening Mary relived her first experience with Amanda Firestone. She remembered how shocked she was at the woman’s advances. She had willingly complied though, allowing Amanda to entice her from the kitchen into her bedroom where she was undressed and made love to by this exciting woman. It was also here in the kitchen where Corey seduced her and took her into Lee’s bedroom. Then, after Corey had left, she was aroused from her foolish nap in her son’s bed, by Lee himself. The wickedness continued as Lee had sex with her too, fucking her through his best friend’s cum.

It struck her that she was living as if she were in a porno film. Though she was a conservative Christian woman at least I used to be she had fallen by the wayside and like Justine Jones, in The Devil and Miss Jones, had made a pact with Satan to follow the path of lust. “I’m going to stop this,” she said to nobody but herself, “I loved the safety of being the prim church lady. This is getting out of hand. My family is turning into a group of sex maniacs.”

She had been so deep in thought that she jumped when her son walked in the door and said, “Hi Mom.” When she turned, he saw the look on her face. “I didn’t mean to startle you, Mom.” When He saw that she had been crying. He wished he hadn’t come home. All day he had the dreaded feeling that his mother had found out about him and his sister Madison before she was supposed to. I think Amanda might have given me some pretty bad advice on this.

Without answering the distressed mother turned back to what she was doing, chopping cabbage for Cole Slaw.

“Mom?” She didn’t respond. He knew he’d been busted. “How did you find out?”

It took her a moment to turn around. “All I had to do,” she said, “was walk into Madison’s room and get blasted by the smell of sex.” When he said nothing, she went on. “You must think I’m pretty stupid Lee. There were four condom packages in the waste basket! It’s really SPECIAL that you and Corey are gangbanging your sister.”

He knew better than to say what he was thinking, For Christ’s sake Mom. You and I have been fucking for a year and a half. You’ve been fucking Corey too. I’ve never mentioned that I know about Amanda and you. And, what about you and Tony?

“I found the key, your ‘Key to My Heart,” on Madison’s dresser. I had an idea what it was for and confirmed it by opening the door to the room at the Blackthorn with it. Was Corey involved with you and your sister there too?”

With a sheepish look he answered, “Yeah Mom, he was. But Madison was embarrassed so he left. It was just she and I ... I mean that did it.”

“Who came up with the idea?”

He knew what was coming. When he had asked Amanda if they were going to run the idea by his mom she had said, “She won’t want to go along with it, at first. Believe me, Lee, in this instance it will be easier to get forgiveness than permission.”

“It was Amanda’s idea,” he said.

“Those lascivious glances she and you were exchanging last night at the party told me that something was up. I knew it had to do with the key.” She couldn’t tell him that she had one just like it in her purse, though it wasn’t an inscribed gold one. It would have been much easier for her to have just compared the two. But taking Madison’s to the motel enabled her to remain in a state of denial until she could no longer hide from the truth. “After I opened the door with it,” she said, “I went to Amanda’s house and confronted her. She and I are through.”

Amanda had told Lee that his mother would be mad if she found out, “but she’ll get over it, eventually.” He hoped she was right about her getting over it. If so, he hoped the eventuality wouldn’t take too long.

“How COULD you have Lee, with your sister?” The moment the words left her mouth she knew how ridiculous they sounded. It would make more sense for him to be fucking his sister than his mother, which he is. Sir Walter Scott’s words came to her mind, ’Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice deceiving.’

Lee knew that his mom wasn’t stupid and was probably thinking how dumb it was to say what she had just said. “But Mom...”

“Oh Lee,” she cried, “What kind of mother do you think I am? What kind of mother would the whole WORLD think I am, to have done the things I have with YOU?”

He knew she was acting out of guilt. Wanting to reassure her he said, “You know that I love you, Mom, even more since we have become so uh ... um ... intimate. The world doesn’t have to know. And how many people in the world HAVE this kind of relationship? I bet a lot more than just us. And, if it is so good with you and me, why shouldn’t it be just as good with Madison?”

His words only made her feel guiltier. He’s right of course. Not only had she allowed the relationship to continue, but it had also become like an opiate to her. Am I more upset about the fact that my children are having sex, or am I just jealous of my daughter? Even while vowing that she would stop this with her son she knew she wouldn’t. Worse, before their incestuous relationship began—even before Amanda had seduced her in the kitchen—she had been having fantasies of her own about her teenage son and daughter. What kind of woman am I?

Before Amanda, Mary Wilhelm had been happy with her life. But was she? She had always had sexual fantasies, even when she was young. Almost without fail her fantasies made her incredibly wet. She thought marriage would solve that problem and would bring her to new levels of sexual awareness. But for years Arthur was unassertive. Until lately, she had been shy about the subject and never told her husband of her disappointment.

Sexually frustrated, she compensated by overbalancing her life with social and religious activities, pushing basic needs far beneath the surface. When Amanda came into her life it was a rising tide that lifted all boats. She became more open with her husband, and he responded. It was the stimulus he needed to move him from a sexual disappointment to a virtual stud. She couldn’t deny how wrong what had been going on in her family was. At the same time, she knew how right it had made her feel. What kind of woman am I?

She knew that without Amanda’s presence in her life this would never have happened. And, who made the rules that make it wrong? She knew that in the animal world humans were the only ones where rules were made against the coupling of parents and children, brothers, and sisters. And those rules were made based on the long-term effects of genetics. She knew there would be no procreation going on in her family, which brought forth the thought, that we should get Madison on the pill.

“Lee,” she said, “we’ll have to talk about this later. Madison’s been in her room all day. I’ve to go up and have a long talk with her.”

“So, you’re not mad at me Mom?”

It was uncharted water. She was confused. Troubled that her daughter had been so upset she needed to reach out to her. “I need to talk with Madison, Lee. We’ll talk about it later, ok?” She kissed her son, this time on the cheek. “But there is NOTHING, darling,” she said, “that will get in the way of my feelings for you.” She French kissed him and pushed her abdomen against his. God, I wish you could fuck me on the table right now. What kind of a mother am I?

*******

Gently, she knocked on her daughter’s door and said, “Madison, may I come in sweetie?” She heard what she thought was a yes.

Madison’s sobs were now spaced-out gasps which caused her shoulders to jump. Mary felt terrible about the whole situation. Why can’t parenting be easier? It was like the voice of God was saying, ‘And why, Mary, can’t you act like a responsible parent?’

She sat on the edge of her daughter’s bed and caressed her back. “I love you, Madison.”

“I’m sorry Mom,” her daughter said in a distraught voice. “You must think I am terrible.”

Shit. The thought of almost raping her son in the kitchen came to her mind. “I don’t think you are terrible sweetie, I was just surprised; disappointed at first.” She, like most mothers, preferred to think that her daughter wasn’t having sex, though she knew she really couldn’t expect a girl as popular as Madison not to be. “To be honest sweetie, I have no right to be disappointed. You’ve been an exemplary daughter.” Like most parents, Mary had chosen to simply hide from the question.

“Before last night Mom, I was a virgin.”

At seventeen Mary had been a virgin. But those were different times. That her daughter admitted that she was, ‘til last night, was a surprise. She knew that Madison was the kind of girl whose pants red-blooded boys would be trying to get into.

Through sniffles, Madison volunteered, “Boys have pressured me Mom and I wanted to. But I was afraid they would tell everybody else about it.”

“It was just a shock for me baby to find out that you were doing it with your brother, and ... and Corey.” I’m such a hypocrite. How can I be carrying on this charade? But how can I tell her about Lee and me, or Corey? I can’t. And I shouldn’t. “But by telling me that you were a virgin until then, and your reasons for remaining a virgin makes me proud.”

“Mom, what difference does it make now? I’m just a slut.”

“No baby. I’ve talked with Lee about it. He says it was a total surprise to you.”

“But I’ve fantasized about doing it with him Mom. Isn’t that wrong?”

“Goodness no, sweetie,” she answered. “Fantasies are a person’s private property. They’re nobody else’s business. So, who can judge them to be wrong?”

“But Mom, I have been thinking about him since before I started my period, I mean way back, maybe when I was ten. Doesn’t that make me kind of weird?”

The mother thought of her fantasies, fantasies for other men, fantasies for her son, for Amanda’s son. She had never fantasized about other women until Amanda seduced her which changed things. And the fantasy she could admit to no one was the fantasy she had been having about her daughter. But there is no way that I can tell her THAT.

She knew that Amanda had to be thinking about Madison too. That had to be the reason for her to come up with the idea for the “Key to My Heart” thing. She knew that Amanda would try to seduce her daughter just as she had seduced her. It was the knowledge that made her extremely uneasy. And she knew she would never be able to stay mad at Amanda, no matter how hard she tried. Amanda had opened the door to feelings and pleasures that she would never have known without her.

Before she met Amanda Firestone, she had been in denial of the feelings she had for Madison. After meeting Amanda and being brought into the sisterhood, so to speak, she knew that the way she had been looking at Madison meant only one thing. She had these feelings about her daughter before she had words to express them. What she was conflicted with now was, that if Amanda did seduce her daughter, it would only be a matter of time before Madison would be folded into the ménage that they all were reveling in. Damn it, she thought, I’m not going to let Amanda be first!

Nestling closer to her daughter’s body on the bed she nuzzled her and murmured, “Sexual feelings Baby, whether they are for someone outside the family or not, are just part of being human. I understand exactly what you are saying about your fantasies for your brother my love. And I wonder if I were to ask you the same question how you would answer it.”

Confused, Madison lifted her head and looked at her mother. “What do you mean Mom?”

Maybe, I had better leave it alone. But Amanda sure as hell won’t. So, here goes. “Since you have been honest with me Madison, I can only offer the same honesty. Is it wrong for a mother to fantasize about a son?”

A look of shock clouded Madison’s face. “I can’t believe you said that Mom, it’s so WEIRD.”

“But is it wrong?”

“YES.”

“But baby, if fantasies are a person’s private property and they’re nobody else’s business, how can they can be wrong?” She was still massaging her daughter’s back, kneading the muscles on her shoulders, working gently up and down the sides of her neck.

Madison laid her face on the back of her hands and began moving her head and stretching her neck to her mother’s ministrations. She was silent for quite some time then said, “I ... I ... I never considered that a mother would fantasize about her son.”

“I have a confession to make sweetie. You might not like it but, just like you; I have been fantasizing about Lee for years.”

Jesus, Madison thought, I never thought I would hear anything like this. I wonder if Lee fantasizes about Mom too.

She thought about her fantasies, the ones about Lee, the ones about her father and mother making love; and the ones about her father making love to her. I’m not going to tell her about that. She realized that her mother’s hand was massaging lower, now on the small of her back which caused the instinctual desire to rock her hips back and forth. She pressed her mound against the mattress. Feeling strangely pleased about how wet she was getting between her legs she thought this is so fucking weird. I think I’m beginning to like that word—FUCK.

“Baby,” Mary said, feeling her daughter’s buttocks tighten. “Did you hear what I said?”

Her fingers were now touching the side of Madison’s breast. God, I can’t believe how turned on I’m getting by this.

“Yes Mom, I heard you.” I’m not gonna tell her about the kind of dreams I have about Daddy.

“How does your mother’s confession make you feel Baby?”

“It’s WEIRD Mom. I just can’t get used to you TALKING like this.” She didn’t understand why she said what came out of her mouth next. “Lee’s pretty hot, isn’t he?” But it was the first she realized, really realized that her mother’s fingers were tickling her breast. “She wanted to trap her mother’s hand with her arm to hold it against her breast. I must be dreaming this. WOW.

“Yes, he is sweetie; very hot.” She felt the slight undulations of her daughter’s body. “Madison, may I ask you a very personal question?”

She was afraid of the question but said, “Sure Mom.”

“Have you ever thought about your Daddy or me?”

Ordinarily, such a strange question coming from her mother would have stunned her. But since last night she seemed to have taken on a new persona. In a way, she felt like she had come of age. Her mom’s hand was cupping her breast. She was feeling very cozy and warm. Is this right? “I have thought about you and Daddy, Mom, making love.”