Chapter 11

[Preservation – Jim in North Carolina]

While I was in Concord, I went to a big box store and picked up a new laptop with all the goodies including wireless internet and Wi Fi connections of a couple of types. I used my credit card to connect and get them approved. There was no one to pay and, apparently, there was still some room on it. I had not used it since the Day for anything except activations.

I filled up on gasoline and used my new laptop to find a campsite for the afternoon and evening. I knew the drive was only a bit over four hours but didn't want to do it this afternoon. I was emotionally spent again. The toll of so many people dead was getting to me again. I left the gas station and went to the first campground that I found through my laptop. I pulled into a spot and hooked up. I went back inside and locked up. I then sat at the dining table and put my head in my hands.

I cried. I cried for my sister, her husband and their baby, my nephew. I cried for my parents dead in that accident. I cried for Dot and Sue and their parents. I cried for Sam and Angie and their parents. I cried for the man I shot who had killed their dad and mom. I cried for myself. I just let it out. I was tired of death. I was tired of being alone. The tension of always being watchful, of having no one watching my back, was dragging me down. I didn't understand the violence. There were so few of us left. I finally wept myself dry.

I got up and took a quick shower and felt better. The water washed away some of my sorrow. I took a Coke from the fridge and my keys and went outside and sat down. I needed to think. I could live in the RV for a long time and just travel aimlessly or I could continue my trek to my house in Virginia. There was nothing for me there but it was familiar.

I decided that I would go there before making any other plans even aimless ones. I also felt my radios were not right and that could be cured at my place. I knew that what I had there worked and worked well. I also had the test equipment to check out the radios here in the RV. I went back inside. On a whim, I checked my personal and office email accounts. I erased everything from before the Day which was everything. I went on Facebook and checked it for any entries after the Day. There were two but both complaining about being sick. I put an entry in there that I was well and heading home to Richmond. I listed my cell phone number. I went on QRZ and did the same for my call sign. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I had supper and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up feeling better. I was still sad but my sister's death was not an active sore on my heart any longer. I had known in my heart what I would find there. Anything else was just a vain hope. I made a quick breakfast, unhooked, and pulled out. I was back on the road again. That term had less impact and less allure than it might have in another time. I headed northeast on I-85 knowing I would make Richmond and my house today. I was right. The trip went without incident. My car was even there as I had taken a taxi to the airport to avoid leaving it parked at the airport for two weeks.

As was becoming usual, I saw no one and heard no one. My house was undisturbed. I didn't check the mail because I felt it wouldn't matter. I pulled the RV far up into my drive. With a side entrance garage, that was a long way from the street. It wasn't out of sight but looked, I hoped, purposeful to casual onlookers. I had to bring food in from the RV because the cupboard was bare as usual.

I went to my radios and turned them on. I dialed around. My two favorite bands had been twenty and fifteen meters and my antennas reflected that interest. It meant that I had little contact with local hams except on two meters but gave me lots of contacts for DX. I was well on my way to a DXCC award for working one hundred countries. If I had had more time, I'm sure that would have been accomplished already. I turned on my two meter for the local repeaters but heard nothing even after keying them and id'ing. They were working but no one was there. I left the HF on 14.300 MHz. while I went about my usual chores upon a return from a business trip.

By the time I finished and ate, it was time for bed. I called it a day and crawled into my own bed to sleep. It felt strange to sleep there; it had been so long.

Morning came and I got up early. I decided that, while I ate breakfast, I would make a plan. Then I decided that I would make two plans. The first would be immediate and the second would be more long term. I sat down with my breakfast and coffee with a notepad beside my plate. My first need was groceries. The RV didn't have much storage and I was about out of everything. Fresh food might be difficult or impossible. I made a grocery list on a separate page. I finished eating and freshened my coffee. I went back to my list. I decided that working up a method of calling CQ automatically would be a good idea if I traveled and even if I didn't. I was not going to sit at the radio all day and night. It shouldn't be hard to rig a recorder that would record replies above a certain S level. I put that on my list.

I started a new list on another page for long-term issues and wrote food on it. At some point, I would have to figure that one out. Canned goods would last for many years but fresh meat, even frozen, and vegetables and fruits would not. I put some notes under food so I would remember what I meant.

On my short-term list, I wrote that I needed to check out the radios in the RV and be sure they were working correctly. I had a few friends in the area and some of them had fairly elaborate stations that were well equipped. I would go after whatever I needed and check their status as I did so. I put their calls on my short-term list.

I went to my long-term list and put down "Where to live" on it. If I had to grow food, a subdivision was not going to work as a farm. On the other hand, this was a comfortable house that suited me well. As I looked at my lists, it dawned upon me that I was going to travel as my short-term list was oriented toward preparing for a trip. With that thought in mind, I began to think more on that idea and the preparations I would have to undertake.