http://storiesonline.net/rss/reviews.xmlSOL: Story ReviewsSOL Story Reviews: Latest story reviews2012-02-11T12:50:17ZFinding Bathsheba: Book 2 by Jonasorangeadehttp://storiesonline.net/s/636272012-02-10T11:44:25ZJonas' "Finding Bathsheba" is one of the finest stories of its genre at SOL, filled with great characters, a great plot and great sex.
"Finding Bathsheba: Book 2" just might be even better.
The author picks up where the first book left off, with Jack Williams having brokered an opportunity to relocate to the Pacific Northwest from his home town in Tennessee with his wife Abigail and her sister -- and their lover -- Allison in tow. But they can't escape threats to their polyamorous relationship, both from inside and outside their little group.
The story essentially splits along two fronts, with another budding love triangle forming between Allison's best friend Briana, her secret girlfriend Merrigan and Allison's brother Ben. All that is set against a pair of dangerous games being played, one to dig up proof against a clique of teen rapists, the other to find evidence against the illegal and racist business practices of Abigail and Allison's father.
In other words, there's a LOT of plot to go around.
But what sets the "Finding Bathsheba" series apart is that the action in the story doesn't get in the way of the erotic content, nor vice versa. Jonas handles the sexual portion of the prose quite well, and includes it in each chapter, without ever allowing it to feel forced.
Where the sequel actually outclasses the original is in that Jonas now has all his ducks in a row. The first book clearly started as a short-story idea that grew a lot bigger. But "FB2" hits the ground running, with all the characters and plot points in place. And it loses nothing as the second book in an apparent trilogy, ending as it does in a very satisfying way, on a significant and emotional event in the lives of the characters.
It goes without saying that reading the first book of "Finding Bathsheba" is a prerequisite to reading the second, but if you're the type that likes the longer form stories, this series is one you shouldn't miss. Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 9 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>The Glow of Motherhood by CorTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/699122012-02-01T10:44:43ZDespite the fact that I'm just a grumpy old fart, I really liked this story. OK, I know it's not very macho to feel any sort of emotional response to motherhood, and childbirth, but frankly my dear, I don't give a shi ... damn!
Looking at it from a man's point of view, I've always had this sneaking suspicion that women do indeed have a secret sisterhood that supports them in their hour of need. Let's be honest about it, too many men do a pretty crappy job of it! I also have to say that I found the childbirth scenes quite emotional, and well written.
Technically, the story's pretty good, though the editing could have been a little tighter it doesn't detract too much from the flow of the tale. What I did find irritating though, were the repeated episode numbers, they are irrelevant and unnecessary, especially so close together.
I felt that there could have been much more to this tale than there actually was, Maybe Cor can develop this into a 'Sisterhood Universe' I wouldn't mind following it anyway.
If you want a stroke story, this isn't it, but it definitely makes you feel good, read, and enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Delayed Reaction by Coaster2Telozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/701882012-02-01T05:11:43ZYou've heard of 'Easy Listening' music, well this is an 'Easy Reading' story. I don't mean that in a derogatory fashion either, this is a real love story with just enough conflict to keep the reader interested.
All in all, it's an excellent piece of work from Coaster2, with well crafted characters and good dialogue. Technically it's also mostly free of the majority of faux pas common to stories on SOL, though there are a few noticeable typos.
If you enjoy stories with a real 'feel good factor', then this one is definitely for you. Read, enjoy, and add to your library! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>The Soccer Mom Who Saved the Earth by LubricanFinbar_Saundershttp://storiesonline.net/s/702862012-02-01T02:48:40ZWhat a treasure!!
I really loved this nicely humourous tale of a thwarted alien invasion.
Plotting was cleverly worked out and the scenes were not overdone.
Take a look, you'll be glad you did :) Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 5 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>How Are You? by vulcezTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/702192012-01-31T08:42:51ZDamn! What a great story! I'm still laughing as I write, thanks to the beautiful twist in the tail.
Technically sound, the story is easy to read, and well worth the effort.
Read it! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Biggest and Best by FlavianTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/702272012-01-31T08:07:30ZWhat a refreshing change, a measured response from a loving husband when it appears his wife is unfaithful. I get really bored with the 'all women are faithless sluts' stories, not only do they get awfully repetitive, they just express the simian attitudes of the authors.
I loved the way the baddies got their comeuppance, but I was sad that one of them got away with nothing but a divorce, it would have been real justice if he'd suffered a similar fate, but I guess a lifetime of looking over his shoulder compensates a little.
The characters are well drawn, and believable, and the whole story is put together well. Technically, there is a blessed lack of misplaced, and inaccurate, words, so the story reads extremely well, and that's what you should do, read it I mean!
Excellent, one for the Library! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Nikki by oyster50fuzzywuzzyhttp://storiesonline.net/s/701722012-01-30T06:23:16Zoyster50 reminds me of Paganini, 'Variations on a theme,' and it has become as good a serial as one can get with a theme about an under-aged girl-child like Nikki and Dan who is a 41 year old Electrical Engineer who has built him a house, with all the bells and whistles one can expect from a fistful of Professional Engineers, and ends up with a lovely brown haired blue eyed 15 year old charmer whom he dug out of a jerry built apartment building which collapses when a hurricane huffs and puffs its way into the records books.
It is now the 30th of Jan., and I expect,nicely, I might add, oyster50 to have it finished by next hurricane season, pretty please!! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 10 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Ginny by ClansmanTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/674002012-01-27T07:19:44ZThis is a really good, if not great, story, with a great plot, and good characters that engage the reader emotionally. It's well worth reading. Perhaps the author should read his work too, preferably before he posts it!
Sadly, that's the best I can say about it. If there's a mistake that Clansman hasn't made, I was unable to spot it, to be honest, I've seen first drafts better than this. The punctuation was awful, with quote marks missing right, left, and centre, and apostrophes conspicuous by their absence. 'Two', 'to', and 'two' seemed to be used indiscriminately, and there seemed to be some sort of congenital defect that meant 'of' should be used instead of 'off'.
The dialogue was often stilted, with no use of contracted words such as 'don't', 'can't', and 'wouldn't', particularly for the American characters; I suppose Gibby (the main protagonist) could well talk in such a fashion, he is after all, a bit of a prig. This was compounded by a multiplicity of unnecessary tag lines (he said/she said), plus starting sentences with conjunctions. You don't start a sentence with 'and' as a rule.
The point of view jumps about faster than a preteen gymnast on speed, and somewhere along the line Fiona morphs into Gladys. All in all, the technical aspects of the story are pretty dire, I can't even remember scoring a story so low in that respect, and not clicking away from it in the first chapter.
I'm sure that by now, you're asking yourself why I wrote this review, instead of just emailing the author and telling him it was rubbish, and for my answer I refer you to my first paragraph. It is a good story, and it is well worth reading. If you can just get past the technical wasteland. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: 2 | Technical Quality: 4 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>Adopted Family by Howard FaxonTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/508332012-01-26T08:58:48ZTo say this tale is dark is like saying the river is wet. With virtually no dialogue, it paints an almost psychotic picture that seems to grab the reader on a visceral level.
The main protagonist is a strange mixture of demon and saint, but the underlying themes are solid and affirmative. Caring for others should be one of the basic tenets of our lives, and this story shows that unequivocally.
Skirting along the edge of sanity, I wouldn't recommend the reading of Adopted Family to anyone who suffers depression, but if you can cope with the violence and suffering it portrays, reading this story could well make you a better person. You might even understand how abuse can breed abuse, and love can make a difference.
Adopted Family is not for the faint hearted, but is an emotional read that should not be missed. Don't just read it, but add it to your library and read it again, and again. Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>The Accidental Master by Lord SkiesTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/526482012-01-24T04:34:49ZI have to confess, first and foremost, that Mind Control isn't a genre that normally attracts me. I'm extremely happy that in this case, I put aside my usual reluctance.
The Accidental Master could well have been called The Reluctant Master, and that is what sets it apart from the rest of the genre. Rather than a monster revelling in his power over others, our chief protagonist is troubled by his gift, disturbed by his power, and the way it makes his 'slaves' dependant on him. The twist in the tail is just icing on the cake of an excellent story.
Technically, there is little to be concerned about. OK there are things I would have changed had I been editing the text, but there's nothing to spoil the enjoyment of the tale.
The Accidental Master is well worth reading, even if Mind Control isn't one of your favourite subjects. I shall certainly be adding it to my library, I suggest you do the same.
Enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 6 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Klutz by MisguidedChildTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/686132012-01-19T02:48:19ZWell, according to MisguidedChild, this is his first foray into the genre of romantic comedy, and I for one, certainly hope it won't be his last.
This is a playful romp, with a bad enough baddy to keep a little bit of tension in the tale. The characters are believable, and come across as warm and funny people, even if they are only a product of MC's imagination.
The text is blessedly free of the usual faux pas, this guy knows the difference between 'to' and 'too'!
Please read this story, it's fun, funny, entertaining, and will leave you with a warm and fuzzy feeling when, all too soon, it ends.
Enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Finding Shelter by Jay CantrellTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/623432012-01-17T02:23:26ZFinding Shelter is unashamedly a romance, it's also a really good read. There are a couple of odd scenes; I can't, for example, imagine anyone holding their own arm to stop themselves from hitting someone, not as described anyway. Apart from that it's a heart-warming and enjoyable story.
What really drags it down though, is the poor editing; missed words, missed plurals, poor punctuation, in at least one case half a sentence is missing. Despite this, it's a good story, and if you can work around the textual faults, well worth the read.
Make the effort, and enjoy! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 6 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Redemption by Shrink42Telozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/409542012-01-09T09:25:20ZThis story has as its main theme a subject dear to my heart. Domestic abuse, spousal abuse, domestic violence, battered women's syndrome, call it what you will, it should be anathema to any right thinking male who would describe himself as a man. Instead, it's a pernicious evil that eats away at our society.
The tale follows the life of Dex, himself a product of an abusive home, and his efforts to rescue the victims. The plot is well thought out, the characters well drawn, and in the main, well written. I also found myself emotionally involved with the characters, often moved to tears.
My only real criticism is that it wasn't technically as good as it should have been. As an example, if there is such a word as 'perceptivity' (used instead of perception) it doesn't appear in any of my dictionaries!
The technical aspects though are a minor irritation, this is an excellent story, and well worth reading! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>It Was Supposed to Be a Victory Garden by Lazlo ZalezacFinbar_Saundershttp://storiesonline.net/s/701152012-01-06T01:38:35ZThis story take the form of an apologetically pointed rant against society's current preoccupation with the trampling of individuals' personal freedoms.
The characters are obviously stereotypes, even the bland names lend themselves to this parable.
What is most important to realize is that this is actually happening. A quick scan of the net pulled up this true basis for Lazlo's story:
One would hope that sense would prevail. This natural response to the financial collapse makes such gardens vital to modern families. These petty bureaucrats seem oblivious to the new realities. I rather suspect that the court will talk sympathetically, but the idiotic law will be upheld and the fact that many of us are already living in a new Great Depression, will be ignored.
I live in an apartment complex and the management company recently sent out leaflets extolling their virtues as a 'Green' company. But they won't allow the use of our balconies for drying our clothes -- and I am not talking about draping blankets over the side, I am talking about putting out a small clothes horse to dry my shirts...
Lazlo has hit on this subject from several different angles in his recent stories. This one takes a much more direct aim at the tyranny of the powers that be. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>My Sister in Law's Thigh by Kalodinpjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/700762012-01-02T03:47:10ZGeezer Gropings! Older guy finds solace with his wife's sister.
There are many older writers on SOL, and numerous stories of older guys, younger women. Very few about older men, older women.. especially those in their seventies.
Kalodin offers a vignette revealing what most of us olders know; the fire may burn down some but never goes out. At least for men and usually not for women - unless they condition themselves out of lust.
Not even for seventies aged people.
Not even for guys troubled with prostate and erection problems.
There are always ways to warm yourself at the fire.
I doubt anyone will get much stroke value out of this story, and his other stories require some participation of the reader's active imagination, but there is much value here.. the primal urge is always there and there is always a way to satisfy it.
Unspoken is the implication that social convention and 'morality' aside, God never intended for us to go into our sunset longing and burning for the intimate touch.
The storyteller needs an editor to smooth his storyline and even some awkwardly placed descriptives, and add some more. But there isnt much in the way of grammar or spelling mistakes, so you do get into the head of the narrator.
I really liked it because I know exactly what he's trying to say. Plot: 8 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>The Moretti's - A Different Family Dynamic by Emanon_PenDark_Bladehttp://storiesonline.net/s/588092012-01-02T02:42:34ZI am a huge fan of historical stories, having attempted to write my own and this is what first drove me to read it, I love a well thought out plot and this has it in spades.
It has everything you could want in codes and more, but it is let down by grammatical and spelling issues that could be easily resolved, were the author to get an editor it would help improve what is a good story and turn it into a great story. Plot: 5 | Stroke Ratio: 9 | Technical Quality: 6 | Appeal to Reviewer: 5]]>A Fresh Start by rlfjDark_Bladehttp://storiesonline.net/s/683842012-01-02T02:25:10ZAn excellent story, as a fan of Doing it over by Al Steiner, I was naturally drawn to this. There have been a few out there like Twice Lucky that have never been finished or are just to terrible to read.
Fortunately, it seems as though rlfj is a man with a plan, having posted tons of chapters since its conception. It's a huge story and well written and researched. Definitely worth a read. Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 5 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>A Zombie Ate Toto by WildnatureDark_Bladehttp://storiesonline.net/s/700682012-01-02T02:16:27ZNot a bad start, a little bit to much going on and a few spelling errors, but nothing that could not be resolved with the help of an editor.
As a fan of the zombie genre and an author as well, I would suggest the writer and fans to read the book Up from the Depths by Remo Jackson.
Keep up the good work! Plot: 8 | Stroke Ratio: 1 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 7]]>Boyfriend by God of Pornpjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/700422011-12-30T03:04:43ZAs a porn freak, I can only dream of getting a girlfriend like this.
As a grown responsible adult, I want to weep.
Once again, the author submits a morality play / social commentary in what is essentially a vignette. She has a knack for character definition using very little descriptive verbiage, and letting the imagination of the reader fill in the blanks.
And it's telling of the Author's superior craft when the review/commentary is about as long as the story.
In just this one act, we can see the future for the narrator, the just rewards collected for her 'boyfriend' and the overall hopelessness of a certain social strata.
You read accounts, post discovery, in the papers and see it on the news and think, "Well what do you expect."
When you only live in and for the moment, shit happens. And reading this and other great efforts of the author, you understand why.
But that's sort of the beauty of stories written as well as this. There's something for about everyone:
For the latent pedo who dreams of a compliant lolita, there's adequate stroke material.
For the moralist, a sympathetic treatment of all three 'victims',
For the amateur anthroplogist, a proof of the thin veneer of evolution and civilization. Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 8 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8]]>Doc by KingkeyDark_Bladehttp://storiesonline.net/s/633032011-12-28T07:30:37ZAn excellent well rounded story, superbly edited and well written and a story that I’ve been following since its conception.
My only gripe, its updating is too slow, if it were speeded up somehow it would be better for those of us that follow it, but that’s up to the writer, not me.
Keep up the good work. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: 5 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8]]>Mom Finds New God by Pink Bettesmokeaknzhttp://storiesonline.net/s/465452011-12-27T06:43:05ZPink Bette is an interesting and talented writer. She gives us a perspective on the female mind which is refreshing and very enjoyable.
There are no grammatical or spelling errors in her stories (perhaps I should say "in the stories I have read so far"), meaning that one is not distracted from the eroticism by anything that jars the mood.
The blasphemy is not over-used, but the fundamentalists among us will no doubt be upset. Bette has warned them in her outline of the story so no complaints should be accepted. I find it a useful tool in the story.
This story is perhaps the most believable of the mom/son genre that I have ever read. The transition from angry parent to begging submissive is smooth and believable in this story, while most of this type really require a complete "suspension of reality". The time frame is quick but not instantaneous, giving the mother time to accommodate the ideas, but not time to reject them. The son's personality also works; not yet fixed in his own perspective, yet knowing what he would prefer, and being game enough to push for it. This would make a very good "Chapter One" of an ongoing story. At the moment it's actually too short to give it a really high stroke rating: I want more! :-)
I commend Pink Bette, and hope she returns at some stage. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: 8 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>Beauty and the Beast by Matt MoreauTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/695962011-12-25T09:10:47ZI guess this story is an oddity, a little strange, and with a unique plot. Even the way it's structured is a little out of the ordinary. All that is part of its appeal.
Another hurdle is the colloquial dialogue, something I often have trouble with, especially in stories with a Western theme; In this case though, it works to attach the reader more intimately to the main protagonist. Matt has managed to put the reader inside the skin of Ozzie, and that's not a comfortable place to be. Anyone who's been put down because they don't have the accepted level of physical beauty, too fat, too thin, disfigured, disabled, will identify with him completely.
This is another of those nuggets of pure gold I've talked about in my other reviews. It should definitely be required reading for anyone that feels they're superior to everyone else. For the rest of us it's a must read, if only to learn that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't always a train.
Enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 3 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Ashley and Milo by happyhugoTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/608512011-12-25T02:22:57ZTruly a feel-good story in the hallowed tradition of feel-good stories. A gentle, romantic, romp through the lives of a disparate group of people who seem to lose, and find, love, in an almost Brownian fashion.
I did find some of the dialogue rather stilted, but this in no way detracted from the story, it just made reading it a little more difficult.
I can thoroughly recommend this story, read and enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>And Tonawanda, Too by Unca DTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/590942011-12-24T01:53:16ZGripping stuff, if you want a glimpse into hell, this story will give it to you. There's redemption too, but it's hard won, and fragile.
Absorbing, powerful, and well worth reading! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>All the King's Horses by Shrink42Telozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/476172011-12-24T04:17:42ZThis is a tale of pain, loss, love, and redemption.
I was engrossed from the first paragraph, and I found myself unable to leave it until I reached the last one. The story is so different from the majority of the offerings on SOL, it really should have a category all of its own.
The story is powerful, intellectually satisfying, moving, and enthralling, and begs to be read, over and over again. Read it, it may well change your world view when it comes to marriage and relationships.
Did I say that you should read it? Well, I'll say it again; read it! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Bosom Buddies by Bosom BuddiesBlackIrishhttp://storiesonline.net/s/698022011-12-23T09:11:05ZFirst off, it's a stroke AND it's not done.
Horny high school boys/girls doing what (mostly) comes naturally. They are likeable and there are no cringe moments thus far. So, it's not just a stroke by any means but, at the end of the day, it's a stroke. Which is good, right?
There's a plot and there's some fine, well-developed characters and it's going to have multiple... books so there's anticipation.
Puns aside, the story is well written and technically very good. The author's in no hurry so the 'chapter a week or thumbs down' club should give it a rest.
This reviewer likes it very much and will wait, patiently, for more. Plot: 8 | Stroke Ratio: 9 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8]]>Akkadian Statuette by zaliterrTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/686962011-12-23T07:30:44ZIn retrospect, I'm not sure why I started reading this story, I certainly wasn't over-influenced by the author's précis of his work. Luckily though, I decided to read it anyway, otherwise I would have missed a real treat!
I'm a lover of time travel stories anyway, but usually I'm drawn to the ones that work in the reverse direction to this one, I guess it could have been titled, 'An Ancient Wizard In The 21st Century', because that, in essence, is what it is.
Some of the dialogue feels a little stilted, which works fine for the main protagonist, as he has an ancient mind. The 21st century characters could have used a more modern, or less formal, dialogue with contractions such as won't, wasn't, he'll, she'll, and so on.
Despite that, this is a story well worth reading, and I heartily recommend it to you dear reader! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>A Benign Something by JT MaloneTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/465962011-12-21T08:11:30ZI really can't say much more than Andrew said in his review, I just felt I had to say something in order to try and attract a few more readers.
A wonderful story, beautifully written, with realistic dialogue that draws you into the tale.
A true love story! Read it, and weep, but read it you must! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 7 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>I'll Dance at Your Wedding (Revised) by StultusTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/584712011-12-21T09:36:44ZThis is a great story, and well worth reading, but if it truly was edited by DragonsWeb, OldFart, RastaDevil, WanderingScot and Sweet Sue, they should all be damned well ashamed of themselves! Truthfully, if I presented an MS to an editor in the state this one's in, let alone published it, I would be ashamed of myself!
Still a good story though, and well worth reading. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>I'll be a Mommy's Uncle! by DiscipleNTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/397272011-12-21T08:34:47ZWhat a great story! So, it's obviously the product of either a genius with a vivid imagination, or a seriously twisted mind; I don't care either way, I loved it.
I consider myself to be liberal, and open minded, (except when it comes to violence against, and humiliation of, both men and women, that's just sick!) and I just adore incest stories, but this one adds a unique twist, the protagonists skirting the edge of sanity to obtain their desires.
On the other hand, the story tells of love and compassion, enabling the protagonists to steer away from the dark chasm of madness. I don't want to spoil the story, so you'll have to read it to see what I mean; and so you should! Read it I mean! It's well worth the effort. Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 6 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>I Won! by MartinmacTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/603932011-12-21T06:18:56ZDespite the fact that this story is technically poor, I thought the plot was good enough to keep me reading until the end. Love and Justice, who can resist?
I don't know if this was an early offering from Martinmac, if it was, I hope his skills have improved since, as I believe this tale could have been so much more. Maybe he can rewrite it, and improve it. I would suggest making sure it's punctuated properly, and using contractions (she'll or he'll instead of she will or he will and so on) to make the dialogue more natural. On top of that, a good editor would have made all the difference.
Having said all that, don't let it put you off reading the story, it is after all, a love story, however bizarre that may seem, and love is everything. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: 6 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>Helping Out by Wayne GibbousDark_Bladehttp://storiesonline.net/s/699752011-12-21T04:08:46ZInteresting story, and every guys fantasy. Could have been split into two chapters instead of one long page and could have been explored a bit more.
Still, worth a read if you want a quicky, no pun intended of course. Plot: 5 | Stroke Ratio: 10 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 8]]>Masi'shen Stranded by Graybyrdpjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/698672011-12-16T10:49:33ZReviewer NOTE: This is written as of Chapter 7, on December 16, '11.
As in all reviews, anywhere, it is purely my point of view at the time the review was written.
pj
We are blessed with another ripping good yarn.
If you love Stargate Atlantis, Clive Cussler's 'Dirk Pitt' adventures and Michael Crichton's science fiction, you will probably really like this story. After all you get to read it free and as it is written. I'll be perfectly frank and say it is a little derivative but so are about 95% of every offering on the shelves. That doesn't detract in the least from the appeal of the story.
Buried under the ice of Antartica is a massive ship which beached itself there following a cataclysmic disaster while in routine exploration. It has been there patiently waiting for a rescue party for over 2000 years.
Unlike 'Atlantis', though... these Ancients are still in the ship.
Unfortunately for them, these aliens display every bit of the hubris and lethargy many of us long-time readers of the genre assume they would. Like the Ancients in Stargate they have evolved themselves to near extinction.
- A hint of this is borne out early by their reaction when any hint of war or violence is brought to mind, so to speak.
In other words, if earthlings discover them they are probably dead meat, since they lack any semblance of the instinct of self preservation.
They're pretty freakin' lazy, too. That's my opinion with what I know so far. And I don't doubt many other readers will conclude the same. That does not detract, either. In fact it is pretty damn refreshing.
Their only hope is in a human who was himself stranded when sent on a mission to find out the nature of a mysterious gravitational anomaly, ie; their own ship.
On the technical side, I had just a few minor quibbles with the way the author dealt with military terminology..50 years ago we didnt say C-130 Hercules and P-3 Orion when we were talking about those aircraft. A character who is familiar with them doing so reads 'clunky'.
That aside.. this story has everything I want. International intrigue, races against time, getting to know diverse peoples, and skullduggery out the kazoo. And it's just starting!
In fact, to me the worst thing about the story is probably the title.
This is one of those where I don't care if it's got any sexual content at all... I do suspect there will be some Romance.
And that's enough.
Read it, the TPA scores are accurate! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Peppermint Patty by RejectRealitySterlinghttp://storiesonline.net/s/699172011-12-16T05:07:17ZThis is one hot story!
Excellent writing, and the tension our hero feels is almost palpable in the early part of the story. The candy cane is an excellent little twist. And big sister is really a very nice girl. Plot: N/A | Stroke Ratio: 9 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Heart of the Wood by Les LumensTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/679642011-12-15T06:53:35ZIf you've come this far by reading all the preceding stories, then you'll probably be wondering why I haven't reviewed the rest. The main reason, is that once I started reading them, there was no way I was going to stop until I got here.
The whole series revolves around Earth Day, a day that is intended to inspire awareness and appreciation for the Earth's natural environment. Earth Day may well be celebrated around the world, sadly though, to the best of my knowledge, there are no Dryads around to celebrate it with us. (I don't think a little Irish lady with an old soul that owns a wood, counts.)
Les gives us a gentle and emotional look at another side of conservation, with enough sex involved to draw in the most hardened SOL reader, but still told in a gentle and emotional way. You can almost feel the power of the old magic radiating from the monitor. Indeed, in this most recent story, where Wood Sprite meets Wicca, there's more than enough magic to go around.
Stupid as it seems, I felt uplifted by reading these stories, and somehow closer to the natural world. Maybe it's because I'm a conservationist at heart, (I am!) or maybe it's because I'm a soppy old man, (I'm that too!) or maybe it's because there is still real magic in the world, the magic of love, and that is what Les is trying to tell us.
If you haven't read any of these tales yet, I suggest you start with the first one, Steward Of The Wood, and read them in sequence. Wherever you start though, read them, you'll feel the better for it. Hopefully, this is not the last of the series, and we can look for more in the future.
Read, enjoy, and Blessed Be. Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 7 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Strike by Deucepjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/569272011-12-13T02:46:16ZThis is a typical adult male fantasy, but with a twist.
An older man has the bad luck to break down on a freeway in a thunderstorm, and worse to be struck by lightning putting him in a coma. Next thing he knows, the ICU night nurses are using him as a fuck doll... and paying for the ride.
And that's just the beginning of the adventure. His physical aging has rapidly reversed and he's now a hung hunk with superpowers.
A great fast moving yarn with a twist at the end that will cause some to groan but others, like me, to think: "I'd buy that for a dollar!" MC, MFFFFF and then some.
If you are put off by poor formatting and the occasional typo, bad punctuation or continuity break, you might not care for it. If you can get by all that and want a good story from a story-teller, you will probably like it as much as I did. Plot: 8 | Stroke Ratio: 6 | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Norfolk by Daniel James Cabrillopjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/473262011-12-13T01:42:18ZNow for something different: A new review of an old (2006) story submission by a hit and leave writer.
Many of us who have been writing for a long time, (for me, that's over thirty years - I started on a Selectric based word processor) regret the loss of innocent amazement at the sensations of sex. The minute descriptives of how we felt at the first joining of the flesh.
After you've recounted the details so many times, it becomes a jaded memory and seems repetitive to our own eyes and we fall away from that beautiful feeling of first discovery. That's why it's so great when we find something on here that captures the glory.
Cabrillo was, I suspect, no stranger to writing but may have just started writing erotica when he typed this story and he didn't spare the descriptives of the ultimate hug.
It really doesn't matter whether or not the story is true or how much of it is true, Cabrillo captures the beauty of first intercourse.. and that's hot!
The story plot is hackneyed of course, but the thing is well written and wont put off the language purists overmuch; the appeal to the imagination is top of the chart.
- if it weren't, I wouldn't bother reviewing it. I've just started in this genre and I'm not going to waste effort and keystrokes on the majority of really bad shit on here. Plot: 5 | Stroke Ratio: 8 | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Teasing Elderly Neighbour: the Beginning by AnnaTartyWifepjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/696852011-12-12T05:39:24ZWhile this review is linked with her first story:
'Teasing Elderly Neighbour: the Beginning'
It is really of the entire series by 'AnnaTartyWife'
Who, if my suspicions are correct, may well have adopted the Doris Day classic, 'I enjoy being a girl!' as her theme.
For those who arrived late on the scene, here is the song:
I Enjoy Being A Girl
- One should note that the fabulous Miss Day really DID, behind closed doors, 'enjoy being a girl'. In much the same sense Anna does.
Of course Anna is probably not her name nor the bawdy and vulgar working class personna she exhibits, accurate. I believe the discerning reader of Brit scribblings will cotton onto that. However I do believe it's biographical and essentially a true account of her delightfully sluttish secret life. At the VERY least, her fantasies.
As to whether or not 'she' is actually a woman, I'm pretty sure of that.
At least as sure of that as I am that Rachael Ross and Chandra are female. And if I'm wrong in this case.. well, 'he' is a helluva writer.
For all the voyeuristics out there.. or just the guys who like to read accounts of slutty horn-dog women.. her 'memoirs' are a treat.
For those who expect prose.. I initially gave this story a '3' for quality, but changed it to '5'. Mind that this score is in no way indicative of her intelligence or literacy. I'm sure she could improve greatly on the technical aspects if she wished. Thing is she is telling her story and in her own vernacular. If this lack of writing discipline bothers then move on please, let the next guy have his turn at her.
"These words are made for strokin'!" Plot: 5 | Stroke Ratio: 9 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Babymaker by Rachael Rosspjhttp://storiesonline.net/s/606612011-12-09T09:41:57ZThis will be, at time of writing, the second review for 'Babymaker'. Sterling wrote the first one and he was a little ambivalent about what he was seeing.
Not so for myself. For I've paid attention to Rachael Ross' weird stories since ASSM was actually a usenet group. To fully understand the story you have to know a little about 'Rache'. Which is just another of the pseudonyms she writes under. There are too many to mention here but I think it's safe to say that there's a different 'author personna' for every genre she addresses; in one genre, she's a horny black girl fixated on white boys, another she's a 'High School Sweetheart', another she's sort of a goth princess bent on doing every dirty deed in the Good Book.
On to the story: 'Babymaker' starts out rather slow and conventionally with the 15 year old protagonist just lately discovering his dick, so to speak, and finding that budding teen girls are just discovering it as well. With the slight difference being that the teenybopper girls he meets are more interested in him as a trophy and status symbol. He figures that's a fair swap, so he curbs his concern about what his age/grade peers might say about being with 'little kids' and goes along for the nookie they are more than willing to put out to claim him as 'Boy Friend'.
Variously, he rationalizes his social faux pas by convincing himself he's in love, or that he has to service those girls' mamas to keep seeing them. Then he realizes he has the power to impregnate and that's a heady feeling for him. I.e; makes him a man.
Rache gives us all the boilerplate stroke stuff. Not only does he end up screwing a lot of the girls' mamas, but his own as well. And, of course, gets most of them pregnant.. naturally all at the same time.
But WAIT -as they say in the 5 minute late night commercials- There's MORE!
What there is ALSO, is an actual plot that emerges several chapters in; one that like pre-cum, ever so subtly makes its way to the surface through the strokes.
You see, Trent is not just your average teen horn-dog, he thinks a lot about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. More so the further entangled he gets in the web of amazonian lust.
Now I have to address the author again. If you've read the story through Chapter 16 and you still don't get the strong sub current of self realization, I suggest you start over and skim from the beginning as I did.
Ms Ross pulls a trick on the stroker-reader and actually builds a subtle morality play without making it obvious. And she does it by the POV narrative and dialogue wording being ever so carefully selected.
And we don't know it till it's happened because of her very accurate 'ear' for conversational wordplay. She is actually in the heads of her characters.
And Babymaker is not a lone example.
If there are ten authors on here whose quality of wordsmithing approaches the masters of Victorian Erotica, Rachael Ross is certainly in that top ten.
If I were kinky enough, I'd just whack to what I fantasize Rache is thinking about at the moment, never mind the story. Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: 5 | Technical Quality: 10 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>Blue Lagoon - Book II by EradinusTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/397882011-12-08T03:50:03ZWhere do I start? Well, firstly, I really can't believe this story hasn't been reviewed before; it has everything! (I'm including Book I in this review as well.) Secondly, if incest is one of your 'squicks', it's time to move on.
Some of the most powerful fetishes that ever titillated the fevered brain of your average SOL reader, are here in spades. My own particular tweaks are sibling incest, polygamy, and group sex. Truthfully, I'm a firm believer in the Golden Rule 'If it feels good, and harms no-one, then do it!' Intellectually, I know that siblings breeding is playing Russian roulette with genetics, in a story I can accept that, but don't try this at home folks!
This expansive tale carries the reader across four generations of undiluted sex, and keeps you hanging on every word. The characters seem to take on a life of their own as they live further and further from societal norms. To me personally, the fact that I disagree entirely with most of today's hypocritical moral standards, makes the story so much better.
Eradinus has used considerable imagination to build a lifestyle based on the two survivors of a shipwreck, to provide a story the equal of Robinson Crusoe, but with a good deal more sex, and a lot less praying. Not only that, but the sex is written in a controlled fashion that makes it erotic without using a predominance of foul language; it's difficult to explain, but you'll see what I mean when you read it.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get horny, but most of all you'll lose sleep because you can't stop reading.
Enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 9 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Waste Not, Want Not by Zaffenfuzzywuzzyhttp://storiesonline.net/s/612842011-12-06T06:29:51ZNow this is a new slant on an "old" Universe! I wonder what the Horn Dog thinks about it. In this episode a group of young super nerds solve the enigma of the Sa'arm, and in doing so find out what really happened with the scourge of the Confederation. Makes good reading much more suited for Finestories! Plot: 7 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 7]]>The New Employee by lordshipmayhemTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/691332011-12-05T03:23:57ZI love nudist stories, but this one goes one better. I loved the characters, and the story made me laugh, so it was already scoring well, when you add in the plot it stands head and shoulders above most of the opposition.
Personally, I've never been an 'official' nudist, but I'm happy in my own skin, and I would love to be able to spend time at Barracuda Beach. Sadly, I can only do that through the slightly deranged mind of Lordshipmayhem.
Read this story, it will brighten your day, and enrich your mind! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Every Summer by Dual WriterTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/531422011-12-04T05:23:21ZThis is a good story, with an innovative plot, and a great ending. You can't beat a happy ending!
Sadly though, some of the shine is taken away by bad editing and inappropriate capitalization. I know that a "Dinning room" is meant to be a dining room, but it spoils the enjoyment of the story, particularly when the unnecessary capitalization draws attention to the error.
Interestingly, I got the feeling that this story could be longer, could have done with a little 'fleshing out' to make it read more smoothly. That's purely a personal feeling though, you'll have to read it to see if you agree.
Overall though, a good story, well worth reading.
PS: Sometimes, writing a review is a bit like poking an author in the eye with a sharp stick. With the email from DW still rattling about in my inbox, (the author is notified when a review appears) I have to say that the re-edited version of the story is better. I don't think I can retract what I said earlier, but the 'Dinning room' has disappeared, thank Gaia, other improvements have been made, and the tale has been tightened up.
It's an even better story now, and it's still well worth reading. Enjoy! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: 2 | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 9]]>Pierced by JetBoyTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/675642011-12-02T05:42:13ZI often have to stop myself writing reviews for JetBoy's stories, it would probably smack of favouritism otherwise. Why? Because I find most of them incredibly erotic.
This story in particular though, does deserve special mention, mostly because it pushes against one of my 'squick' barriers. I may be old fashioned, but the thought of deliberately inflicting pain on anyone is totally abhorrent to me, so I tend to bypass most of the BDSM stories. On the other hand, I find female body piercing to be incredibly erotic. Incest and lesbianism are two more of my buttons that JetBoy pushes.
This little story has all three in spades, and working on the premise by which I live, 'If all parties are consensual, and it harms no one, do it!' I found it to be incredibly erotic.
Don't just enjoy it, revel in it! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 6 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>State of Chaos by EzzyBTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/694722011-12-02T04:05:38ZStrangely, I've not reviewed any of the Rebecca Danced trilogy until now, so I'll use this as an opportunity to review them all.
Months ago, possibly even more than a year ago, I read a story called Rebecca Danced, from an author called EzzyB. This story affected me deeply in many ways, and I even went to the extent of buying a copy from Amazon. I quickly found the sequel entitled Anita's Rescue and found that equally enthralling. I was overjoyed When EzzyB started posting the last part of the trilogy, State Of Chaos.
'So what?' I hear you say, 'Get to the bloody point!' The point is that the three stories combine, synergise even, into a sum of parts greater than the whole. We have a hero that's too good to be true, until we find that he's as flawed as all the rest of us. A group of teenagers with uncommon talents and a social conscience; but more than all of this we have a tale of stunning breadth and depth, that's almost impossible to leave unread. If it was a book, you wouldn't be able to put it down.
The whole point of reading novels is to find a way to escape from reality for a while, but, if during that foray into escapism the reader finds new ways to connect with their own reality, then the author has done his work well. EzzyB has created a tour de force that almost leaves the reader breathless, and actually caring about the fictitious lives of the characters.
Read the stories in order;
1. Rebecca Danced
2. Anita's Rescue
3. State Of Chaos
Read them and enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 3 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Epigraphy by zaliterrTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/693042011-12-01T03:10:53ZThis story is different.
Not only does Zaliterr show considerable knowledge of the subjects concerned, he weaves them together in an intriguing construct that grabs the imagination. The warp is built from the life of an academic, whilst the weft is the search for knowledge that creates a whole cloth making the suspension of disbelief not only easy, but involuntary.
SciFi without leaving planet Earth, fantasy with not a sword in sight, this tale kept me awake long past my bed time!
Read and enjoy! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 3 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Paul's Redemption by novascriptusTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/533552011-11-26T05:47:30ZTime travel stories are one of my favourite genres, but this one breaks the mould a little bit. I'm not going to spoil the story by going into that too much, suffice it to say, that it's different enough to hold your interest.
Sadly, I have to say that the attention of an editor would have improved things considerably, but the story is so good that the errors are at least bearable, you'll probably only get irritated if you're a nit-picking old fart like me.
A god story, read and enjoy! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 7 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Old Man by Old FartTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/443462011-11-26T07:13:46ZBelieve it, or believe it not, this is a romance; a story of love and redemption. If you're looking for lots of raw sex you need to move on, but if you're looking for a good story with an emotional twist, you're in the right place.
OF has produced an nice little story that is well worth reading. If you have a romantic frame of mind, you'll enjoy it immensely.
Highly recommended! Plot: 9 | Stroke Ratio: N/A | Technical Quality: 8 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>And I'll Show You Mine by JetBoyTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/636562011-11-23T08:38:12ZWell up to JetBoy's usual standards, this particular story explores mother/daughter sex from a new angle. Well worth a read!
Can I use this review to pose a query? Most of my lesbian friends say that mouths and fingers are enough. This story brings in the use of a strap-on dildo.
To my way of thinking, if a woman desired penetration, she could use the real thing, easier and cheaper than a dildo! So is the strap-on more to do with domination than love? Feel free to email me with your thoughts.
In the meantime, enjoy JetBoy's stories! Plot: 10 | Stroke Ratio: 7 | Technical Quality: 9 | Appeal to Reviewer: 10]]>Close-ups: Images of Desire by JetBoyTelozhttp://storiesonline.net/s/655262011-11-23T06:14:03ZI have to confess to some ambivalence when it comes to this story. I have to say that I don't find the idea of under-age sex at all arousing, and normally I'd bypass such a story based on the codes. In this case, I took a chance, and I'm glad I did.
The story is incredibly erotic, and incredibly well written. At no point is there any sign of coercion, something I would find an instant turn-off. All in all, this story is an erotic masterpiece, though I couldn't help feeling a frisson of disquiet about the age of the youngest protagonist, though after all, it is a work of fiction. I also guess, that from a male point of view, the fact that the sex is all girl on girl makes it more acceptable.
I really enjoyed this story, and will be adding it to my library. I recommend that you do the same.