A Second Chance to Make It Right by Submissive Romantic

Author's Description:
An old man is on his death bed. He asks God for a chance to re-live his life, to make things right. He gets his wish; but not as he expected.This is the story of that second chance.
Size: 125 KB ( ~ 23,704 words)
Genre: Time Travel
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: mt/ft, Consensual, Romantic, Time Travel, DoOver, Incest, First, Oral Sex, Slow

Review by Teloz   [other reviews by Teloz]

Reviewed: 2012-07-01

I'm going to start by apologizing to Submissive Romantic, I'm sorry my friend, but technically, this story was not good.

The plot is great, definitely a new twist on the 'sent back in time' scenario. The characters are pretty good too, so it really should have been a most enjoyable tale. Sadly though, the whole thing was error prone to such a degree that I seriously considered abandoning it. Some of the errors were silly, like exchanging 'too' and 'to', and the final chapter starts with the phrase 'At the being of September ...', that's just sloppy! OK, I know I'm a bit pedantic, and everyone makes mistakes, but I do at least read anything I write.

Having got past all that though, it really is a good story, and only gets such a low 'Appeal score' from me because of the problems mentioned above. Without the errors I'd probably have scored it 9 for 'Appeal'. So if you have a high tolerance for poor English, then read it and enjoy.

SR, I recommend an editor!

Plot: 8 | Technical Quality: 5 | Appeal to Reviewer: 7